Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.
I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my genetics, half to my upbringing, and half to Lego. Despite this supposed creativity of mine, I am utterly incapable of conceiving how much I will suffer on Festum Prophetae. It might be that I’m too much of an optimist, but more likely is the explanation my darling VMH gives: I’m an idiot.
An example that comes to mind prominently would be my trilogy of efforts up Haleakala. I too easily forget the suffering, despite the videos and photos that speak quite plainly on the subject. And that actually happened. I experienced it. Still, the pain fades quickly and right now I feel like having another go.
I also rode a one kilometer Pursuit on the track in Gent on Keepers Tour (twice). Just the kind of good, non-competitive fun that lets you go so hard you suffer minor convulsions afterwards. Granted, a one-kilometer effort is about the worst event you can imagine for an old diesel like me, who doesn’t start heaping coals on the fire until I’ve been in the saddle for a good number of hours. Two minutes nearly killed me, so I should try doing the same thing for three orders of magnitude longer. (Pedant alert: The times were well under two minutes but that makes the math much more complicated and the suffering no less significant.)
The Hour Record has fascinated me more than any other event. I read about the records set by Coppi, Merckx, and Moser, but missed experiencing them in real time (Steep Hill.tv didn’t exist yet, and also I wasn’t alive for two of those.) I was, however, lucky enough to live through the Hour Record’s Golden Age in the 90’s when the widespread use of EPO and the wholesale negligence of the UCI meant frame builders were at liberty to design whatever speedy abomination they wished, and riders were willing to saddle up and lay the hammer down ad infinitum. Lets see who’s blood vessels pop first!
The doping is exaggerated; Boardman might have been clean and was probably just stupid. Obree was definitely clean and certainly stupid. Indurain was definitely doped, definitely not stupid. Rominger was dirty as a Wall Street Mortgage Broker, and a semi-genius. The game was afoot, and back and forth they went: New record! Record falls…New record! Record falls…It was fantastic. In my memory, I was much more enamored with the Hour than I was with the Tour.
I had the ambition to honor last year’s Festum with an Hour Ride (I won’t call it a Record), but factors outside my control (last minute panic to organize time on a track after leaving it too late) conspired against the effort. This year, I planned ahead a bit more.
In honor of what I consider to be the standard-setting Hour Record by The Prophet on what amounted to little more than standard track equipment at the time – not to mention, without the aid of genetics-altering drugs – I will be flogging my guts out for 60 minutes on the Alpenrose Track at 3pm on Saturday, June 15. Mark at Veloforma will be loaning me a Pista Pro for the ride, seeing as I have no track bike (or experience to speak of).
Anyone who wishes to come see a tall fat guy ride a bike badly for 60 minutes is welcome to come down and watch. I understand @scaler911 will be documenting the event. There is even a rumored appearance of my VMH who is a bit of a Snuffleupagus around these parts. If she attends, I will have her fill the role of Ole Ritter’s wife in The Impossible Hour and step forward for every lap I’m ahead of schedule and step backward for every lap that I’m behind schedule. She’s a strong woman not accustomed to walking backwards, but I’m sure she’ll do fine.
Merry Festum Prophetae, one and all. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@minion
Yes, what gears will be used? I run 90.5 (48*14) and in 3 minute intervals last night was averaging 43.4km/hr, in zone 5. Which hurt, quite a bit. No way I could keep that up for an hour. I reckon I could churn out 39ish with relative 'comfort' with that ratio. This reminds me that I need to upgrade my wheels.
Today's updated list. Minion, I put you down for 40 km flat as that is what your earlier post inferred. If you do not want that and want another distance, let me know. Some of you have the same distance out to the 10th of a kilometer but no one that I can see on a quick review has the same distance out to the 100th of a kilometer as of yet. And what the fuck is up with some of these names on here? Lastly, did I forget to mention how much of a pain in the ass this is! My respct for the VSP keepers grows daily.
Name
Distance
buck rogers
38.42
Engine
40.9
strathlubnaig
38.16
mcsqueak
39
midlife-cyclist
41.4
Tobin
39.7
mlambert1us
41.295
RedRanger
38.1
JohnB
40.774
grumbledook
39.37
TBONE
38.2
El Mateo
40.47
wiscot
43.5
Nate
37.75
Smith
38.79
lordmoos3
37.9895
the-farmer
37.5
Dan_R
42.336
itburns
40.05
Marcus
38.7
Skip
37.9
Jamie
37.5
sthilzy
41.6
Don Amedo
40.25
Brett
36.666
G'rilla
DNF
Mikael Liddy
36.85
V-olcano
35
titirangisi
38.91
cal
38.123
il ciclista medio
38.47
Giles
37.43
Rob
37.4
scaler911
40.95
BarTapeMummy
38.56
minion
40
piwakawaka
38.25
Chris
39.99
ten B
37.3
ChrisO
43.7
anotherdownunder
42
ErikdR
40.4
motor city
40.55
seemunkee
40.9
freddy
41.35
@Russ
Thanks all. He arrived home to his family last night. The funeral/burial will be at Arlington in three weeks. This is the last time I'll mention it b/c it is not cycling related but I do thank you for remembering him one last time, and hell, any excuse to drink is a good one, right? Sean would have thought so.
@Buck Rogers
Glass raised in silent salute, @Buck
And +1 with regard to respect for the VSP keepers. I've often marvelled at this: even with people coming up with all kinds of weird nicknames for riders, they seem to be able to work it out. Baffles me completely every time - but chapeau. (For the record: if you are the most computer-challenged person in this community, I reckon I come in a close second)
@Buck Rogers
Our posts here have to be Cycling related? Nonsense! This sort of thing deserves to be mentioned and should be mentioned. Again, our condolences. I'm glad he has come home for the last time.
@Buck Rogers So what does the winner get? A badge? Frank's sweaty V socks?
@frank
That makes two of us then.
Confirmed: I'll be filming this event, one of the biggest sporting events to occur in Portland in maybe ever.
Live streaming? A possibility.
@wiscot
Frank's socks are bound for the V Cycling Hall of Fame, I believe (I just made that shit up but it sounds good, no?)
I think Frank mentioned a V pint to the winner but I am in it just to add pressure onto Frank with everyone picking him over 40 k's for the hour. FUCK! Glad it is not me doing it!
@G'rilla
You're kidding about the possiblity of livestreaming, right? (I have been known to be very gullible in the past)
Either way, AWESOME about the video!