Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.
I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my genetics, half to my upbringing, and half to Lego. Despite this supposed creativity of mine, I am utterly incapable of conceiving how much I will suffer on Festum Prophetae. It might be that I’m too much of an optimist, but more likely is the explanation my darling VMH gives: I’m an idiot.
An example that comes to mind prominently would be my trilogy of efforts up Haleakala. I too easily forget the suffering, despite the videos and photos that speak quite plainly on the subject. And that actually happened. I experienced it. Still, the pain fades quickly and right now I feel like having another go.
I also rode a one kilometer Pursuit on the track in Gent on Keepers Tour (twice). Just the kind of good, non-competitive fun that lets you go so hard you suffer minor convulsions afterwards. Granted, a one-kilometer effort is about the worst event you can imagine for an old diesel like me, who doesn’t start heaping coals on the fire until I’ve been in the saddle for a good number of hours. Two minutes nearly killed me, so I should try doing the same thing for three orders of magnitude longer. (Pedant alert: The times were well under two minutes but that makes the math much more complicated and the suffering no less significant.)
The Hour Record has fascinated me more than any other event. I read about the records set by Coppi, Merckx, and Moser, but missed experiencing them in real time (Steep Hill.tv didn’t exist yet, and also I wasn’t alive for two of those.) I was, however, lucky enough to live through the Hour Record’s Golden Age in the 90’s when the widespread use of EPO and the wholesale negligence of the UCI meant frame builders were at liberty to design whatever speedy abomination they wished, and riders were willing to saddle up and lay the hammer down ad infinitum. Lets see who’s blood vessels pop first!
The doping is exaggerated; Boardman might have been clean and was probably just stupid. Obree was definitely clean and certainly stupid. Indurain was definitely doped, definitely not stupid. Rominger was dirty as a Wall Street Mortgage Broker, and a semi-genius. The game was afoot, and back and forth they went: New record! Record falls…New record! Record falls…It was fantastic. In my memory, I was much more enamored with the Hour than I was with the Tour.
I had the ambition to honor last year’s Festum with an Hour Ride (I won’t call it a Record), but factors outside my control (last minute panic to organize time on a track after leaving it too late) conspired against the effort. This year, I planned ahead a bit more.
In honor of what I consider to be the standard-setting Hour Record by The Prophet on what amounted to little more than standard track equipment at the time – not to mention, without the aid of genetics-altering drugs – I will be flogging my guts out for 60 minutes on the Alpenrose Track at 3pm on Saturday, June 15. Mark at Veloforma will be loaning me a Pista Pro for the ride, seeing as I have no track bike (or experience to speak of).
Anyone who wishes to come see a tall fat guy ride a bike badly for 60 minutes is welcome to come down and watch. I understand @scaler911 will be documenting the event. There is even a rumored appearance of my VMH who is a bit of a Snuffleupagus around these parts. If she attends, I will have her fill the role of Ole Ritter’s wife in The Impossible Hour and step forward for every lap I’m ahead of schedule and step backward for every lap that I’m behind schedule. She’s a strong woman not accustomed to walking backwards, but I’m sure she’ll do fine.
Merry Festum Prophetae, one and all. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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Alright, daily update (fooock me this is getting old). Last call for alcoh, no wait, entires will be 3 pm PST tomorrow and then we shut it down and let Frahnk do his thing!
Name
Distance
Sauterelle
34
V-olcano
35
Russ
35.55
Hashola
36
ped
36.2
Brett
36.666
Velovita
36.84
Mikael Liddy
36.85
Ron
36.9
kixsand
37.07325
Spun Up
37.15
actor1
37.256
ten B
37.3
Rob
37.4
Giles
37.43
the-farmer
37.5
Jamie
37.6
Nate
37.75
starclimber
37.777
Skip
37.9
lordmoos3
37.9895
Wookie
38.0878
RedRanger
38.1
cal
38.123
strathlubnaig
38.16
TBONE
38.2
piwakawaka
38.25
buck rogers
38.42
Deakus
38.43
il ciclista medio
38.47
BarTapeMummy
38.56
moondance
38.6
Marcus
38.7
Smith
38.79
titirangisi
38.91
mcsqueak
39
mouse
39.11
eenies
39.25
snoov
39.3
grumbledook
39.37
gaswepass
39.42
oneninefiveninesix
39.5
Tobin
39.7
Chris
39.99
minion
40
Andrian
40.01
itburns
40.05
Don Amedo
40.25
Nero
40.35
ErikdR
40.4
El Mateo
40.47
motor city
40.55
Steampunk
40.73
JohnB
40.774
Engine
40.9
seemunkee
40.9
scaler911
40.95
Lukas
41
mlambert1us
41.295
freddy
41.35
midlife-cyclist
41.4
Patrick
41.46
niksch
41.555
sthilzy
41.6
girl
41.65
JACD214
41.71
Gianni
41.87
eightzero
41.9
anotherdownunder
42
xyxax
42.23
Dan_R
42.336
wiscot
43.5
ChrisO
43.7
G'rilla
DNF
@Giles
Hell mate, you're thinnking too hard. If Frahnk does not finish one hour on the bike, G'rilla takes it. End of story. Now have a drink and relax. Tomorrow should be awesome!
@Buck Rogers
PeakInTwoYears
39.6
@Buck Rogers Buck, please amend me to 37.7. @starclimber came in a bit close to me with his gues.
@frank
Uh oh, I hope Travis Tygert isn't reading.
I'll be cruel and submit 39.99.
Everything has to be perfect. Bonts scrubbed in soapy water, cleats re-lubed, and dried overnight. I can't imagine anything more cruel than looking at dirty shoes for an Hour.
@frank
The Bonts do clean up nicely - the microfiber or whatever they are made out of seems to wear really well (although mine don't tend to get terribly dirty, being red and black)
Is that an orange comforter/duvet or is it just the light? Somehow I imagine that if that photo was taken with a wider angle lens we'd see something like this albeit with V-Cogs and 'Obey the Rules' in place of the Browns logos:
@Cyclops
Dude, check the list. Chris already beat you to the punch on that one.
And for everyone else that has not submitted yet, if you duplicate a pick, you're fucked as I am not checking again until it closes tomorrow at 3 pm PST and whomever picked the distance first gets it.
@Buck Rogers
I often wonder how Frank keeps his cool when we're all pissy about VSP picks/ errors. I'd never volunteer to do what you're doing.