Categories: Racing

Gianni’s Carbon Ball: Sir Twiggo

All Haul Ass. Photo: Sirotti

The glow from the Giro is still visible, everything is still pink but I’m jumping ahead of all the Wilcocksons of the world with a bold Tour de France prognostication. And to do this  I’ve borrowed Frank’s carbon ball, oft used for somewhat accurate predictions of future cycling events. This article was written weeks ago, at the start of the Giro but the frenzy of creative writing out of the front office has kept this buried. It’s now or never.

What can you say about Twiggo? I can say he is heading towards a win in the Tour de France this year.

I have raised issues with a rubbish haircut and cycling knee socks but these are superficial stylistic issues. Who am I to do that? I’m shiet. We need as many free thinkers as possible in cycling and if Bradley or Vaughters have different sideburns, excellent. Conformity is over-rated. Forget the socks, have you noticed his profile on the bike. He has the flattest back in the peloton and not by chance. I bet he and Sky are ticking every stinking little box to get this done.

He won Paris-Nice riding like a true professional, taking up Moser’s method of cooling down after each climbing stage by riding a stationary bike. He won Tour of Romandie like a seasoned veteran and won a field sprint for a stage win! He is winning these on his time trailing strength but not losing them by always riding at the front and climbing well enough. Yes, the Tour is different, the climbs are harder but he is a better climber than the Schlecks are time trialists. He did podium in last year’s Vuelta. He is experienced enough to not chase down every acceleration on a stiff climb, he just tempos it out, smoothing out the highs and lows. Bradley is one smart rider.

How does he stack up against Cadel? That is the question better informed people than myself would hope to answer correctly. Cadel’s mojo has been tainted so far this year and the Tour is still far away but mojo is mojo and his is bad. If Basso does not make the top five in the Giro, my mojo indicator is working and I’ll stand by it. Sorry Australia, you had a good (but short) run. English types, enjoy these years, they won’t last. They never do. And you from Luxembourg, we will talk in private.

The internal Sky problem of Cav versus Twiggo is solved -the Olympic road race is not far from the end of the Tour and Cav is the home field contender for Olympic gold. He will bail early, Sky will put their eggs in a basket made of Twiggs. How can I say these things with any authority? I can’t, I have none, look at my VSP points. But come the end of the Giro and Basso is smoking like a hippie’s motorbike, (which is a bad thing, not a good thing) then my mojo meter is obviously working and who has the big brain then?

Postscript: Basso did finish in the top five of the Giro, barely, so my mojo indicator is not completely tuned in. It could have something to do with the solar maximum. Twiggo has reported in from his secret base in the Atlantic that he has climbed to the moon and back, daily, so he is still ticking boxes. I’m still feeling good about all this.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @Pedale.Forchetta

    @RedRanger
    He has stolen the glasses to his dad.

    I raced with those Blades. Also cut out my own clear lens for a night time (downtown street lamp) crit. Caught in crash on the last lap -- Blades destroyed.

  • @Pedale.Forchetta

    You wouldn't believe how many people (aka girls) were around him in that moment!

    He is looking like a stud. I should take my trainer out by the pool and see what ladies I can attract.

  • @frank

    @Pedale.Forchetta


    @RedRangerHe has stolen the glasses to his dad.

    I was going to suggest those were his pappa's. Those shades rock. I have a pair in the basement, thanks to Gianni. They are exactly like that. Now that I think of it, they need to go into the shrine, not sure why they aren't there already.

    Frank - you need to set up a pool room

  • There were a couple of us that picked Hesjedal for the win as well, but I know Gianni is an easy target. Too bad I skipped Scarponi for Kreuziger...that would have given me the win.

    @frank

    As Gianni - perennial donut maker in the VSP - showed us at the Giro, taking a risk and picking Ryder for the win is its own reward; he scored way higher than those of us conservatively going with the herd (me included).

  • @versio

    @Pedale.Forchetta

    @RedRanger
    He has stolen the glasses to his dad.

    I raced with those Blades. Also cut out my own clear lens for a night time (downtown street lamp) crit. Caught in crash on the last lap "” Blades destroyed.

    Those are Eyeshades, not Blades, just FYI.

  • @frank

    As Gianni - perennial donut maker in the VSP - showed us at the Giro, taking a risk and picking Ryder for the win is its own reward; he scored way higher than those of us conservatively going with the herd (me included).

    I suspect being a donut maker is not a good thing in matters of VSPs?...Bless-ed are the donut makers, for they shall inherit the earth. Two of my other picks were Visconti and Jacky Bobby so I'm swinging for the fences and usually dying.

    @niksch
    I tried to warn everybody about Kreuziger but to no good effect.

1 11 12 13 14 15 20
Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago