Categories: Racing

Gianni’s Carbon Ball: Sir Twiggo

All Haul Ass. Photo: Sirotti

The glow from the Giro is still visible, everything is still pink but I’m jumping ahead of all the Wilcocksons of the world with a bold Tour de France prognostication. And to do this  I’ve borrowed Frank’s carbon ball, oft used for somewhat accurate predictions of future cycling events. This article was written weeks ago, at the start of the Giro but the frenzy of creative writing out of the front office has kept this buried. It’s now or never.

What can you say about Twiggo? I can say he is heading towards a win in the Tour de France this year.

I have raised issues with a rubbish haircut and cycling knee socks but these are superficial stylistic issues. Who am I to do that? I’m shiet. We need as many free thinkers as possible in cycling and if Bradley or Vaughters have different sideburns, excellent. Conformity is over-rated. Forget the socks, have you noticed his profile on the bike. He has the flattest back in the peloton and not by chance. I bet he and Sky are ticking every stinking little box to get this done.

He won Paris-Nice riding like a true professional, taking up Moser’s method of cooling down after each climbing stage by riding a stationary bike. He won Tour of Romandie like a seasoned veteran and won a field sprint for a stage win! He is winning these on his time trailing strength but not losing them by always riding at the front and climbing well enough. Yes, the Tour is different, the climbs are harder but he is a better climber than the Schlecks are time trialists. He did podium in last year’s Vuelta. He is experienced enough to not chase down every acceleration on a stiff climb, he just tempos it out, smoothing out the highs and lows. Bradley is one smart rider.

How does he stack up against Cadel? That is the question better informed people than myself would hope to answer correctly. Cadel’s mojo has been tainted so far this year and the Tour is still far away but mojo is mojo and his is bad. If Basso does not make the top five in the Giro, my mojo indicator is working and I’ll stand by it. Sorry Australia, you had a good (but short) run. English types, enjoy these years, they won’t last. They never do. And you from Luxembourg, we will talk in private.

The internal Sky problem of Cav versus Twiggo is solved -the Olympic road race is not far from the end of the Tour and Cav is the home field contender for Olympic gold. He will bail early, Sky will put their eggs in a basket made of Twiggs. How can I say these things with any authority? I can’t, I have none, look at my VSP points. But come the end of the Giro and Basso is smoking like a hippie’s motorbike, (which is a bad thing, not a good thing) then my mojo meter is obviously working and who has the big brain then?

Postscript: Basso did finish in the top five of the Giro, barely, so my mojo indicator is not completely tuned in. It could have something to do with the solar maximum. Twiggo has reported in from his secret base in the Atlantic that he has climbed to the moon and back, daily, so he is still ticking boxes. I’m still feeling good about all this.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @Marcus
    Cadel's chin is hella aero.

    @scaler911, @RedRanger
    Been thinking about Gesink but isn't he yet another tall climber who can't put in a good TT? The last TT is 53 km, pancake flat. Ugly terrain for tall spindly climbers.

  • (article photo) Bradley looking close to Screech in Saved By The Bell. Episode where Screech saves summer vacation with a good time trial.

  • @Oli
    hehe, thank you. Yeah, cunzor is alot more fun to say. Minion is losing it. He is becoming an Aussie.

  • It sounds like the Dauphiné will start to show whose carbon ball and whose mojo-meter is working properly. With Da Shark, Cadel and the Twig all lining up we will know something, maybe. Or not.

  • Strine - Carnt

    Probably Cuddles, Bradley will see his socks in a mirror and fall off his bike. Otherwise Nibbles. Jens will lead Radio Luxemborg, you heard it here first!

  • @scaler911
    If only I knew how to choose relative unknowns. Relatively, I tend to be pack fodder at this game.

    And why did the cover photo for this story change? Eh? (and by "eh?" I mean I'm getting on the Canadian bandwagon and plan to go only with Canadian riders from now on.)

  • I like wiggins and would be happy if he wins. I understand why people don't 'get' him but at least he actually has a personality.

    I think Sky have played quite an interesting position in terms of press and gone out saying that Wiggins is riding the tour to win. I think starting with that sort of attitude counts a lot in terms of the mind games. BMC may have a great squad but they've achieved very little so far this year - maybe on purpose?

    The best thing for wiggins was crashing out early last year - he wouldn't of won and returns as a vastly improved rider going into this years race.

    I also wouldn't write Cav off as quitting too early, he's going to stay as long as possible.

    @frank - could additional points jersey and KOM picks could be added to the VSP for Le Tour?

  • @minion

    @Gianni
    AM NOT! MArcus will need to supply you with the 'Strine version of that word I'm afraid. I won't stoop so low.

    You've stooped as low as you can go already... Canberra, ffs.

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