Categories: Racing

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jul 6 2011 at 11:56 am

@sgt
With helmets, of course. I'm a bit nervous about dancing with cycling shoes on, though.
sgt says:

Jul 6 2011 at 12:46 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
Ya pansy...
Chris says:

Jul 6 2011 at 1:27 pm

@sgt

@Chris
Fuckall, that's some funny stuff!
http://youtu.be/RZjLATAUwao
I tihnk we need to come up with a Velominati routine involving V-Kit and Silca frame pumps. Great post-ride activity for Cogals!

Frank was talking about a Velominati cross team, that would fuck with the oposition on the start line. No warm up on the rollers for the Keepers!

@Jeff in PetroMetro

Rule 69 old chap, dancing shoes only please!
paolo says:

Jul 6 2011 at 2:27 pm

@ChrisO

@Marcus and Frank
Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

And clearer still; Since the 1998 "Good Friday" peace agreement, citizens of Northern Ireland can refer to themselves as British, even though they are not. And I always thought that Wales is a "principality". Hence the heir apparent is alwas the "prince of wales". Now...on with the cycling.
Minion says:

Jul 6 2011 at 2:39 pm

@G'phant
(SSSSHHHHHHHH! They don't seem to have noticed that we've already taken over the Gold Coast...)
frank says:

Jul 6 2011 at 8:45 pm

@ChrisO

@Marcus and Frank
Just to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.
Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.
Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.
I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.

One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It's a beautiful thing.
Marcus says:

Jul 6 2011 at 9:15 pm

@frank

@ChrisO

@Marcus and FrankJust to be totally clear and pedantic the UK and GB are not the same thing.Officially it is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.Great Britain was formed after the union of England and Wales with Scotland.Later they formed the United Kingdom by a further union with Ireland, as it then was, now Northern Ireland only.I think technically by referring to England you also include the Welsh, as Wales is part of the Kingdom of England.

Spectacular work. I loves me a good History lesson, especially one that justifies for me my confusion on the subject.
One of the most beautiful things about Europe is how small all the countries are and how fiercely nationalistic their peoples are. It's a beautiful thing.

And for all those countries, Great Britain has now founded a cycling team with Bradley Wiggins as a GC hope. HaHaHa.
Marcus says:

Jul 6 2011 at 10:18 pm

@frank
@ChrisO
Oh yes, and that particular cycling team called Sky is ultimately owned by the second-most famous Australian-turned-American in the world (Mel Gibson is the most famous).
ChrisO says:

Jul 7 2011 at 12:50 am

@Marcus

Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies... I mean it's not like they have their own team is it ;-)
Chris says:

Jul 7 2011 at 1:17 am

@ChrisO

@Marcus
Yes and it even managed to employ some Aussies... I mean it's not like they have their own team is it ;-)

If the rugby sports reporting in some of the Australian papers is anything to go by it wouldn't surprise me if the British members of the team never get a mention or the team is described as being Australian.