Categories: Racing

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Dr C says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:17 am

@snoov

As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

Very honorable (as always with the Scottish) admission - I for one shall make a point of holding your people in a lesser regard (even on Six Nations days) in future
zalamanda says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:32 am

speaking of DZ, does he still have his dastardly chin twizzler or has he shaved? @snoov you have to refer to yourself as Scotch that way the Yanks can understand. it's not Edinburgh but Eedinberg etc...
Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:34 am

@snoov

I have one small correction to make... ...us Scots... ...deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

As an Englishman, I'm afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.
Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:35 am

@zalamanda

it's not Edinburgh but Eedinberg etc.../blockquote>

or Eedinburger
Dr C says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:43 am

@Chris

@snoov

I have one small correction to make... ...us Scots... ...deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

As an Englishman, I'm afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.

Awesome historical observation - always wondered about that
+1 @Chris

(I seem to be going for a powerplay on the points allocation, sorry if it f..ks up the rankings - more attention seeking behaviour I suspect)

Amerikans very quiet.....do you think they might all be asleep - do tend to go to bed very early any time I've met one
snoov says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:52 am

@Chris

Good point Chris, I've read that the Clan system in Scotland was very similar to the one used in the Americas and so the Scots were far more effective trading or slaughtering than the English.

A few years back on a winter trip to Canada I joked with a Canadian that us Scots thought of Canada as a far off region of Scotland ;) he wasn't all that happy and asked me why I though that. I told him that it was cos we'd discovered most of the place which was why there were so many places with Scottish names etc. "Like what?" he enquired. I gave Banff as an example, he challenged me with, "how do you know the one in Scotland wasn't named after ours?" "On account of it being nearly a thousand years old" I said, "but we probably didn't name Kicking Horse!" I conceded. Later at the motel my brother and I laughed our asses off when we found out that Kicking Horse was named after a Scot who was kicked by a horse on an expedition to find a pass for a railway :D

Anyways, I feel I must point out that while I am geographically from Scotland, I like to think of myself as an earthling and I hope to share this planet with all the rocks and plants and creatures as harmoniously as possible.
Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:55 am

@Dr C

@Chris

@snoov

I have one small correction to make... ...us Scots... ...deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

As an Englishman, I'm afraid I must take issue with this. It is well known that of all the Brits it was the Scots who were the rampant colonisers. That is why, wherever you go in the world you will find someone stood on a street corner, open air shopping centre or tourist attraction playing the bagpipes. As a nation the Scots are second only in this respect to the Peruvians. You never come across Morris dancers.

Awesome historical observation - always wondered about that
+1 @Chris
(I seem to be going for a powerplay on the points allocation, sorry if it f..ks up the rankings - more attention seeking behaviour I suspect)
Amerikans very quiet.....do you think they might all be asleep - do tend to go to bed very early any time I've met one

Milk and cookies does that to you. Warm, flat beer and pork scratchings, on the otherhand is bound to disrupt all but the strongest constitutions.
Oli says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:56 am

@Chris

@snoov

I have one small correction to make... ...us Scots... ...deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

You never come across Morris dancers.

This is not true. For many years every hungover Sunday stroll along the Oriental Bay Parade here in Wellington, New Zealand would be interrupted by the jingling sticks and wildly flung handkerchiefs of the Morris People - at times their to-and-fro "dancing" would block the entire promenade!
Ron says:

Jul 5 2011 at 3:57 am

Shit beer? I'll have you know I was drinking the finest from the Genesee River - Genesee Cream Ale cans. I was able to haul back three thirty packs from my trip to the north. And a friend brought leftovers from a recent party he had, Wild Turkey Honey. What the hell is going on with these flavored liquors? There is that Red Stag bullshit these days too. Weird. Of course I had to try it. Not bad, but not good.

Awesome win for T-Bone. I missed it live. I vow to watch all of today's racing. The VMH has pulled me away from the finish the past two days.

Good one, Frank! Hope the Jan Kees all had a good 4th. Enjoy the nice uphill finish today lads.
Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:00 am

@snoov

@Chris

I hope to share this planet with all the rocks and plants and creatures as harmoniously as possible.

*$%!ing hippy :)