Categories: Racing

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:06 am

@Oli

@Chris

@snoov

I have one small correction to make... ...us Scots... ...deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

You never come across Morris dancers.

This is not true. For many years every hungover Sunday stroll along the Oriental Bay Parade here in Wellington, New Zealand would be interrupted by the jingling sticks and wildly flung handkerchiefs of the Morris People - at times their to-and-fro "dancing" would block the entire promenade!

I had long suspected the Peruvian thing was personal persecution, maybe the pipers as well (I'm sure the same group of Peruvians has targeted me in number of cities in both hemispheres - although oddly enough not in Lima).

It can't be that the Morris People are targeting Kiwi's otherwise they would all be in Earls Court.
Oli says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:09 am

They aren't in Earl's Court because they are spread all over the rest of the poor, unsuspecting world, prancing and performing their dark deeds.
zalamanda says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:15 am

@Chris

It can't be that the Morris People are targeting Kiwi's otherwise they would all be in Earls Court.

you're bit too clever for your own good. That's a London thing. They wouldn't get it. I think the Yanks are still asleep or hugging the porcelain phone calling Ralph or Huey.
Ron says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:16 am

I'd only seen the last 1k but just watched the final 10 k. WOW! What a crazy finish. They were going full gas the entire time. Talk about just trying to hold on for dear life. It's incredible how good those dudes are at handling their bikes. Going all out you get that cross-eyed, woozy feeling and yet they are in the middle of ten, twenty, thirty guys and are able to ride full steam and hold their line. Re-spek!

Who was the 2nd guy leading out T-Bone? Thor &...?

Awesome to see Thor over Farrar's shoulder smiling like a kid. You could tell how happy he was for his teammate.

And, I'm having trouble picking Cavendish out in the pack. He's so skinny these days I don't recognize him.
Ron says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:17 am

Ah, looks to be Julian Dean. Yeah, he's no slouch at fast finishes.
Oli says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:17 am

That's Kiwi Julian Dean.
marko says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:26 am

So then, now that I've gotten all pessimistic about the GC, what am I looking forward to? Panache, fucktards. I wanna see Faboo tow Frandy through the TTT for Leotard Schleck (thanks Dr C) and then make some perfect amount of dumb remark afterward. I wanna see Cavenisgrowingonmedish win some sprints. I wanna see Farrar beat The Manx Mouth in some sprints or cry trying. I wanna believe in the Rainbow Jersey again. I wanna see if Tomeke still has what it takes. I wanna see Jens hurt EVERYBODY. I wanna see some Russian or Spanish dude I've never heard of have the ride of his life and shed some tears on the podium, and I wanna see Gilbert on a long solo break on his birthday get himself a stage win and maybe even the yellow jersey for a bit.

Only three days in and I've already gone five for eight. Vive le Tour!
marko says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:27 am

And good morning from 'murika everybody.
marko says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:42 am

@zalamanda

@Oli

@Chris

@snoov

As an American and having a limited education courtesy of our public school system, this is the only frame of reference I have concerning this conversation.
Durishin says:

Jul 5 2011 at 4:43 am

How old are you gentlemen?

The language here has taken a decided turn towards the unsophisticated and adolescent.