Categories: Racing

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

eightzero says:

Jul 5 2011 at 10:29 am

Wow. Cuddles came to play. And the crowd goes wild as I get my fist VSP win.
frank says:

Jul 5 2011 at 10:33 am

@Ron

We also need a lexicon list entry for the fear/feeling you get when it is the middle of summer and you see your winter riding gear.

It's the same feeling I had during summer vacation from school when I'd see a back to school advert.@Oli

@Durishin
I'm sadly a loooong way in the wrong direction from being an adolescent, but I'm most definitely unsophisticated. I trust this assists in your understanding of the discussion.

A+1
seemunkee says:

Jul 5 2011 at 10:51 am

From a new pizza place opening in Flagstaff today called Pizzicletta (combination of pizza and bicicletta)

Also, tomorrow's pizza special will be the "maillot a pois rouges" (french for red polka dot jersey)- tomato, ricotta, and spicy sopressata. The name is a nod to the King of the Mountains rider in the Tour de France. The ricotta and sopressata also match the polka-dotted patterning, thus the name.
Nate says:

Jul 5 2011 at 12:59 pm

@snoov
As everyone in America knows, if it isn't Scottish, it's crap.
Chris says:

Jul 5 2011 at 2:03 pm

@snoov

Chick Young would know a thing or two about being a c*nt
Marcus says:

Jul 5 2011 at 5:27 pm

@frank

@snoov

As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

Indeed. As a Dutchman who takes great offense to the use of the word Holland to describe The Netherlands (even though many Dutch do this themselves and it bothers them none), I would think I'd be more sensitive to that type of thing. I actually spent about 17 seconds pondering if it was England or GB and realized that I couldn't remember which was the offending term.

Depends on the situation - Welsh, Scot, English, Irish (the Protestant ones) all label themselves British when it suits. They all love calling themselves Great Britain come the Olympics (so they can claim 2 extra non-gold medals) and when the "British Lions" play rugby...
Pedale.Forchetta says:

Jul 5 2011 at 7:34 pm

Yesterday while I was in the San Francisco harbor looking at the 4th July fireworks I was really, really far from thinking at the Tour, but then when I was returning home on foot, climbing the hills, immediately my legs searched for a pedal but no, no bike for me.
The image of this post is great for some reasons, first I really like Farrar and second, I think that this Tour is going to give me some satisfactions in terms of results.

It was great to be here...
Gianni says:

Jul 5 2011 at 9:21 pm

@Chris

You never come across Morris dancers.

I wish, they have contaminated Massachusetts with their mincing nonsense. Enough I say! Fuck off back to England. Actually these are the worst kind of Morris dancers, they are American's with delusions of English mincing. Oh the horror.
Oli says:

Jul 5 2011 at 9:24 pm

They are everywhere...*shudder*
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jul 5 2011 at 9:52 pm

@Oli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ1mU3nD79c