Categories: Racing

Grillin’ Up a T-Bone on the Fourth of July

W is for Wouter. Photo: Fotoreporter Sirotti

In the US on the Fourth of July, we drink shit beer and grill loads of meat to celebrate our declaration of Independence from England. I think that’s supposed to be ironic, us being lazy and getting fat on this day, because my understanding of the Delcaration of Independence is that it said something to the effect of, “You guys are lazy and fat and suck. And we hate tea and taxes. That’s two more reasons than we need to be rid of you.” Personally, I like both the English and tea, but nobody asked me so here we are.

I’ve never made it a secret that I’m not a fan of Vaughters’ “sit in” tactics and, by association have soured on Gramin-Cervelo in general this year. But I have to admit, I’m coming back around to the boys after their stellar efforts in the opening stages of the Tour. In contrast to their Rule #67-violating standard-operating procedure, today they wrested control of the bunch away from a dominating HTC-Highroad train, chucked a Maillot-Juane into a leadout so strong it looked more like a breakaway than a bunch sprint, and delivered T-Bone to the line first on the Fourth of July.

I haven’t done the research to back this up, partly because I’m certain someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe this represents the first American Tour stage win on this particular date. To top it off, we had an emotional win dedicated to Farrar’s fallen friend, Wouter Weylandt.

America, fuck yeah.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Jul 5 2011 at 10:01 pm

@Pedale.Forchetta
I'm glad you got to see fireworks in the San Francisco harbor. Pretty awesome.

Does Pier 39 still smell like a thousand sea lions?
minion says:

Jul 5 2011 at 10:32 pm

@Marcus

@frank

@snoov

As a Scot I find it necessary to point this out as us Scots hate it when folks use England as a synonym for Great Britain or The United Kingdom, we deserve as much blame for killing indigenous peoples or enslaving them as the English.

Indeed. As a Dutchman who takes great offense to the use of the word Holland to describe The Netherlands (even though many Dutch do this themselves and it bothers them none), I would think I'd be more sensitive to that type of thing. I actually spent about 17 seconds pondering if it was England or GB and realized that I couldn't remember which was the offending term.

Depends on the situation - Welsh, Scot, English, Irish (the Protestant ones) all label themselves British when it suits. They all love calling themselves Great Britain come the Olympics (so they can claim 2 extra non-gold medals) and when the "British Lions" play rugby...

You mean like "Australasia", that team at the Soccer world cup? Where were they from again?
Oli says:

Jul 5 2011 at 11:55 pm

@Jeff in PetroMetro
Great stuff! Bhangraman ftw!
Marcus says:

Jul 6 2011 at 12:52 am

@minion
WTF are you on about? Australia played in the World Cup. Not sure what team you are referring to?
minion says:

Jul 6 2011 at 1:55 am

@Marcus

After your lot got knocked out, and we kept on playing in the tournament, your press 'renamed' the NZ soccer team, 'Australasia'. Jeez, at least keep track of the kiwis you nick and claim as your own.
G'phant says:

Jul 6 2011 at 2:48 am

@minion
Mate, we're on slightly shaky ground here. For every Phar Lap, John Clarke and pavlova they've nicked there's a Russell Crowe, Jo Bielke-Peterson and Bondi's worth of dole bludgers they can keep.

Then again, they also gave us Brett ...
tommeesee says:

Jul 6 2011 at 3:25 am

@G'phant
by 'nicked' do you mean 'welcomed to the mainland' ?
zalamanda says:

Jul 6 2011 at 4:09 am

@marko
lol. I nearly spat coffee over my keyboard. the funny thing is you're not far off
zalamanda says:

Jul 6 2011 at 4:20 am

@Dan_R
now that I'm caffeinated, I have to correct you. It wasn't the Scotch per se that invented the ghilli suit it was Scottish poachers as it was the only way of blatting bambi off the lairds property and getting away with it.
seemunkee says:

Jul 6 2011 at 4:56 am

Had to look up what Morris dancing was. Holy Merckx, talk about the antithesis of the V! Someone needs to take those sticks and knock some sense into those people.