Guest Article: La Vie Velominatus-Transformation

photo: jchristophe

The fear of crashing is there but we can’t let override our pleasure in cycling. @mblume writes of this and underplays his riding the Haute Route. That ride alone should be a long article about abiding Rule V.

Yours in Cycling, Gianni

As a transplanted American living in Europe for 12 years, I have had the great fortune of upgrading my cycling routes from the flattish, potholed, roadkill -filled, tire- puncturing, debris -strewn, pick-up truck infested cycling routes of St. Louis, Missouri to the secure, scenic, smooth as glass roads sitting at the base of the Swiss Alps, as a resident of Zurich, Switzerland.

In my first nine years in the land of Cancellara, I was much more drawn to mountain biking and racing, which probably spoke as much to my post-St. Louis, traumatic road riding recovery period as to the quality of the local singletrack. As a caterpillar undergoes a pupal metamorphosis into a butterfly, I began the transition to a road cyclist. At first the signs of the transformation were slight as I rode my Cippolini/ Gotti era Saeco-Cannondale team replica aluminum frame with Spinergies no more than once a week. Then I began to feel embarrassed about  wearing a mountain bike-specific kit while on the road bike, on full display to the perfectly attired, affluent, Swiss chapter of the Velominati. I really began to feel the transformation was inevitable when I began to pay strict attention to my diet and weight. One more agent of change during my  transformation to a road cyclist must also be given its proper, but tainted due: the rise of the Pharmstrong dynasty and the increased media attention paid to my countryman and cycling.

Eventually, I upgraded my ride to one signed by Ernesto Colnago. I started riding in road specific gear. I developed PR goals on all the local small Alps and generally began to live the life of an apprentice Velominati. One key item that hindered my transformation to a true amateur Velominati: the fear of crashing. As a youth, I had several bike crashes on the pavement which resulted in losing several teeth and raising my parents’ insurance premiums. In my entire career of road racing in St. Louis (2 races), I had narrowly avoided crashes that sent friends to hospitals and ruined their bikes. So despite my apparent transformation to a road cyclist, I mainly trained in isolation. For the most part I abstained from road bike races except for the occasional Alpine cyclosportive. This strategy allowed me to not be exposed to the quick, jerky reactions and the cacophony of the peloton and the resultant tense shooting fear of crashing that careened around my head like a never ending game of pinball.

Ultimately, a conversation with my Dad changed this. He had just retired and at a toast following an excellent celebratory meal, reflected on his life to that point, “Do not get to my age, look back,and have regrets about not pursuing your passions.” From that moment on I began to pursue more fully my passion of road cycling and racing. Luckily to date,  I have been crash free. Although I have witnessed some nasty crashes very near to me in road races that still give me nightmares. I still think the sound of carbon and flesh hitting the pavement is one of the sickest sounds on the planet.

During 2011, I trained more seriously than ever: alpine training camps in Arizona and France, reading and studying the Rules as well as discussing them with mates, with all the seriousness of the debt ceiling debates in the US Congress. All of this devotion was in preparation for the chance to try to have a stage race experience like the Pros.

The race objective was the Haute Route, which covers a seven-stage, 720 kilometer course from Geneva to Nice. The race featured 15 Alpine cols with four mountain-top stage finishes, as well as a 12km mountain time trial on the fearsome Col du Granon. I expected many moments of pain and elation as I tried to drag my 40 year old body over the 17,000 meters of total ascent.

On stage 2, in a packed and nervous peloton at the start of the stage before the Col des Saisies, a bottle was dropped in the group ahead of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bottle coming my direction through the air, like a punted football at a fairly high speed. The bottle ended up under my front wheel at an angle that caused me to go skidding along the pavement. I had finally realized the  nightmare crash scenario complete with the nasty sounds and pain resulting in road rash. Bruising and blood were resplendent on my entire left side and much more importantly, my pristine Scott Addict steed showed certain minor scars from the battle with the French road.

I am pleased to report that years of training topped off by this past year of paying reverence to Rule V overrode any worries about pain. My main goal was to get back in the race as soon as possible after a mandatory trip to the race ambulance. I finished the stage and the rest of the week’s racing. I have a new respect for the Pros and the level of mental focus required to compete and win Grand Tours and the demands of consecutive days of racing. Crashing is just one part of a wildly complex set of challenges and threats that the Pros and Velominati  must live with and overcome.

For all you Velominati out there, find your passion and pursue it.

mblume

Original American MTBer converted roadie in last 10 years from living in Switzerland. Vow to uphold the Rules. Love the witty banter in the comments sections.

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  • Wow, what a great story. Crashing is scary as shit, and as a Cyclist, its a fear that goes with us everywhere. Not for the pain - that will pass - but for damaged goods or, worse, a serious injury that may end up hurting others than it does us.

    I don't get on my bike without thinking about what can go wrong, what I might do to avoid forcing someone to have to make the most terrible phone call to the ones I love most - and then pushing those thoughts out of my mind and getting on with it.

    On an other note, I'll be racing on the road again this year, after stopping because the crashes kept ruining gear I paid too much money for. I can't wait, but until I'm sure I've got my legs back, it will be Bike #3 in the bunch for me.

  • @RedRanger

    @frank
    Your racing in a cat or as a masters?

    Masters. I'm hoping less of them think its worth selling their mother to jump through a gap that doesnt' exist to get them up the road with zero chance of staying away.

    Depending on where you live, the Masters fields are fucking stacked, too. In PNW, there are a dozen or more ex-Pros, some of which whom have raced in Europe, who race in the Masters class. And they're not the ones winning all the time. I harbour no delusions of winning. But naturally I expect to. No point in starting a race if you are trying to lose.

  • @frank
    ain't that the truth. fortunately in Oregon we still have the luxury of masters 4 and 5 in addition to masters open in both road and cross. otherwise fat middle age guys like me would be relegated to being terrorized at no drop club rides and inter-block competitions with the YJA wearers!

  • @frank: your spot on with your assessment of masters cat.

    They are stoked old men. Last i signed in on was mostly cat 3 and 2's, with diesel engines

  • @frank
    NIce! You're right about the Masters fields being stacked. Up your way you have Kirk Willet (wore the Tour du Pont yellow for a few days), Paul Dahlka, Kenny Williams (tho he might still be on a doping ban), the list goes on.
    What I've found is exactly what your saying though. I've been racing both Masters and Cat III since coming back a couple years ago, and in the Masters, the risk taking is way lower. We have jobs and families.
    Maybe I'll roll up to Seatown this summer (Seward Park series still going on?) and toe up to the line with ya.

  • @mblume
    @scaler911: I 100% agree that the first 3-4 days of showers and sleeping after road rash are way worse than the pain of the crash. There is something cathartic to witnessing how the body oozes, cracks and scabs itself back to health during the midst of stage race. For me the best part of the healing process was on the bike- as this was the only time I had no pain.
    blockquote>

    As a seasoned crasher (not something that I am proud of but firmly believe there are 2 kind of bike racers, those that have crashed and those that are going to crash), order yourself or pick up a supply 3M Nexcare "Tegaderm" waterproof dressings in different sizes. The person that invented that product deserves an award. Worth its weight in Gold!

    @frank

    @RedRanger

    Depending on where you live, the Masters fields are fucking stacked, too. In PNW, there are a dozen or more ex-Pros, some of which whom have raced in Europe, who race in the Masters class. And they're not the ones winning all the time. I harbour no delusions of winning. But naturally I expect to. No point in starting a race if you are trying to lose.

    Must be that way everywhere. I rolled up last year to the start line for a Crit in ToAD and found myself standing next to a now Master Aged past Olympic Silver Medal Track Racer. And no, he did not make the podium.

  • @Dino

    +1 to the dressings. Haven't used those ones but anything sold as a hydrocolloid dressing will be much the same.

    Brilliant for road rash. Stick it on and it forms a sort of gel across the wound underneath the dressing. You leave it until the thing heals, peel off and hey presto a new layer of skin.

  • @Dino
    People go all goo-goo for Tegaderm, and it is pretty good. Not the best though. Xeroform dressings are tit's for road rash. You put it on after scrubbing the wound, then as the wound heals, the XF curls up around the edges. You trim the edges till the wound is healed. Not sure that you can buy it in the store though. I procure it at work as needed.

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