Portrait of a Hardwoman: Nicole Cooke

Nicole Cooke on the Kapelmuur, Rule #37 violation notwithstanding.

Cycling is hard; I’m not leaking any trade secrets with that statement, but it feels good to say it anyway. No Cyclist avoids suffering, but of those who venture into our world, there are some who seek to limit it while others choose to embrace it. Then we have a handful of characters who consider playing Whack-a-Mole with the Man with the Hammer to be good sport, particularly when playing the part of Mole.

In the current climate, it’s impossible not to consider the impact doping has on our sport. I, for one, have happily watched professional bike racing and delighted in the spectacle for close to thirty years, aware to varying degrees that doping is part and parcel of that spectacle I enjoy so much. In the last decade, I’ve gone so far as to assume most – if not all – riders are doping; a regrettable situation but one which has done little to temper my enthusiasm for the sport. After all, when all the riders are doing it, then surely what we’re watching is a level playing field of willing participants who understand how the game is played. Cheaters cheating cheaters hardly seems like cheating.

It’s all beautifully romantic so long as all the riders are doping. This is not the case, however; there are those who are racing clean against dopers. These riders are truly being cheated out of a livelihood by a culture which not only turns a blind eye to cheating, but who ostracize those who don’t. These riders who refuse to dope have few voices and last week, the sport lost one of the most forward of these with the retirement of Nicole Cooke.

Nicole has been a force in Women’s Cycling since turning Pro in 2002. A powerful rouleur, she excelled in every terrain and in any race format, but was nigh unbeatable in uphill finishes, taking a total of three La Fléche Wallonne Féminine titles, each of which required such a large laying of The V that it brought her to collapse. I was aware of her as much as anyone can be with the state of the coverage of Women’s Cycling, but she became one of my favorite riders after reading a piece in Rouleur about my favorite hub manufacturer, Royce. In the article, Royce’s Cliff Polton described being at a trade show when a young girl better described as a ball of loosely-contained energy bounded up on his booth and started asking about bottom bracket axles and wondering aloud if he could help her achieve her goal of becoming the wolds most dominant female cyclist.

Given what I understand of her personality, I get the feeling it was more like executing a plan than achieving a goal.

Cooke raced at the top of her sport for thirteen years; she scaled the heights of achievement with wins in every major race on the calendar including the Ronde van Vlaanderen voor Vrouwen, La Fleche, the Giro d’Italia Femminile and Grand Boucle (women’s Tour de France), the Olympic Road Race, and the World Championship Road Race. What’s more, she accomplished it while remaining staunchly anti-doping to the point that she faced sackings for refusing doping products.

Anyone who is a fan of Cycling should read Nicole’s retirement statement – I could never do it justice here. My personal hopes for the Pharmstrong Legacy is that it yields a a blood letting in the UCI and that the energy it spends on covering up its own corruption goes instead into promoting Women’s Cycling.

I’m sad to see Nicole go. Yet, for a rider who thrived in the hardest conditions and who unyieldingly stuck to her principles, I find it very fitting that the final two wins of her career came in Stages V of the Giro Femminile and Energiewacht Tour, respectively. Bravo, Nicole.

Here is the finale of her last Giro stage win:

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Tobin

    I think I just channelled Jacob Two-Two...

    Always funny to see other parents here.  I'm sure there are quite a few around here that don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I do...........

  • @scaler911

    @Tobin

    I think I just channelled Jacob Two-Two...

    Always funny to see other parents here. I'm sure there are quite a few around here that don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I do...........

    IDK, but the two of y'all talking about a male figure in a tutu, well, kinda non-news...

  • @minion for once i agree with you.

    @the Engine
    that Tour de San Luis is just a shitty little 2.1 race. TDU is a World Tour race - which is what Minion meant when he said Protour (because he is simple).

    Not sure what the rest of you ignorant pasty-skinned fat turds living in your fucked little snowcaves define as an interesting race? Maybe it needs a fucking Zamboni to get you interested.

    So far, the TDU has had one sprint finish (ok not that exciting, but they usually occur in stage races!), a stage with a devilish but short climb 6k from the finish and a wicked descent (oh yes, for you UK fucksticks, your boy Thomas raced out of his skin and there was a wickedly good crash to boot), and then a finish with pretty hard uphill sprint finish that saw a young gun (Slagter) get the jump on a couple of ok riders called Goss and Gilbert who came 2 and 3.

    What the fuck more do you want from a fucking bike race in January you ungrateful cunts?

    Maybe we should wait for that outstanding 2.1 race the Tour of Britain? Haven't there been some fucking epic rides through drab scenery in the rain there? Or maybe we should wait for the Tour of Cali - which has a few interesting climbs but is most famous for the worst set of winners jerseys in the known world.

    Maybe you wish you had a ride at 6am this morning in weather of 28 degrees celsius. I did.

  • Read it and weep...have to say this is very rare especially the light winds...

  • @Marcus

    @minion for once i agree with you.

    @the Engine
    that Tour de San Luis is just a shitty little 2.1 race. TDU is a World Tour race - which is what Minion meant when he said Protour (because he is simple).

    Not sure what the rest of you ignorant pasty-skinned fat turds living in your fucked little snowcaves define as an interesting race? Maybe it needs a fucking Zamboni to get you interested.

    So far, the TDU has had one sprint finish (ok not that exciting, but they usually occur in stage races!), a stage with a devilish but short climb 6k from the finish and a wicked descent (oh yes, for you UK fucksticks, your boy Thomas raced out of his skin and there was a wickedly good crash to boot), and then a finish with pretty hard uphill sprint finish that saw a young gun (Slagter) get the jump on a couple of ok riders called Goss and Gilbert who came 2 and 3.

    What the fuck more do you want from a fucking bike race in January you ungrateful cunts?

    Maybe we should wait for that outstanding 2.1 race the Tour of Britain? Haven't there been some fucking epic rides through drab scenery in the rain there? Or maybe we should wait for the Tour of Cali - which has a few interesting climbs but is most famous for the worst set of winners jerseys in the known world.

    Maybe you wish you had a ride at 6am this morning in weather of 28 degrees celsius. I did.

    You seem a bit tense man. All that heat and shit burning to the ground fuckin' with the sheep supply? Don't lump us all in one basket. The TDU isn't The Ronde (or Tirreno) but it's racing! About f'n time I might add.

  • @Marcus I feel like the TDU critics don't appreciate the serious rule 9 conditions of South Australia in January. I suppose they could up the stakes by moving it to FNQ and making them race in ~36C 100% humidity with the occasional cyclone.

  • @Marcus

    Not sure what the rest of you ignorant pasty-skinned fat turds living in your fucked little snowcaves define as an interesting race? Maybe it needs a fucking Zamboni to get you interested.

    (edited rants of a wanted sheep rapist)

    Maybe you wish you had a ride at 6am this morning in weather of 28 degrees celsius. I did.

    My snowcave was 27C today but had the advantage of being on the proper side of the equator and in a land that isn't famous for animals that failed in every other climate.  Oh yeah, and large marsupials.

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