Portrait of a Hardwoman: Nicole Cooke

Nicole Cooke on the Kapelmuur, Rule #37 violation notwithstanding.

Cycling is hard; I’m not leaking any trade secrets with that statement, but it feels good to say it anyway. No Cyclist avoids suffering, but of those who venture into our world, there are some who seek to limit it while others choose to embrace it. Then we have a handful of characters who consider playing Whack-a-Mole with the Man with the Hammer to be good sport, particularly when playing the part of Mole.

In the current climate, it’s impossible not to consider the impact doping has on our sport. I, for one, have happily watched professional bike racing and delighted in the spectacle for close to thirty years, aware to varying degrees that doping is part and parcel of that spectacle I enjoy so much. In the last decade, I’ve gone so far as to assume most – if not all – riders are doping; a regrettable situation but one which has done little to temper my enthusiasm for the sport. After all, when all the riders are doing it, then surely what we’re watching is a level playing field of willing participants who understand how the game is played. Cheaters cheating cheaters hardly seems like cheating.

It’s all beautifully romantic so long as all the riders are doping. This is not the case, however; there are those who are racing clean against dopers. These riders are truly being cheated out of a livelihood by a culture which not only turns a blind eye to cheating, but who ostracize those who don’t. These riders who refuse to dope have few voices and last week, the sport lost one of the most forward of these with the retirement of Nicole Cooke.

Nicole has been a force in Women’s Cycling since turning Pro in 2002. A powerful rouleur, she excelled in every terrain and in any race format, but was nigh unbeatable in uphill finishes, taking a total of three La Fléche Wallonne Féminine titles, each of which required such a large laying of The V that it brought her to collapse. I was aware of her as much as anyone can be with the state of the coverage of Women’s Cycling, but she became one of my favorite riders after reading a piece in Rouleur about my favorite hub manufacturer, Royce. In the article, Royce’s Cliff Polton described being at a trade show when a young girl better described as a ball of loosely-contained energy bounded up on his booth and started asking about bottom bracket axles and wondering aloud if he could help her achieve her goal of becoming the wolds most dominant female cyclist.

Given what I understand of her personality, I get the feeling it was more like executing a plan than achieving a goal.

Cooke raced at the top of her sport for thirteen years; she scaled the heights of achievement with wins in every major race on the calendar including the Ronde van Vlaanderen voor Vrouwen, La Fleche, the Giro d’Italia Femminile and Grand Boucle (women’s Tour de France), the Olympic Road Race, and the World Championship Road Race. What’s more, she accomplished it while remaining staunchly anti-doping to the point that she faced sackings for refusing doping products.

Anyone who is a fan of Cycling should read Nicole’s retirement statement – I could never do it justice here. My personal hopes for the Pharmstrong Legacy is that it yields a a blood letting in the UCI and that the energy it spends on covering up its own corruption goes instead into promoting Women’s Cycling.

I’m sad to see Nicole go. Yet, for a rider who thrived in the hardest conditions and who unyieldingly stuck to her principles, I find it very fitting that the final two wins of her career came in Stages V of the Giro Femminile and Energiewacht Tour, respectively. Bravo, Nicole.

Here is the finale of her last Giro stage win:

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Chris oh yes and if you object to races with multiple finishing circuits I guess you must despise every Workd Champs and Olympic parcours?

    We didn't teach you much in your time out here did we?

  • @Chris

    @Marcus

    @Chris don't try to be friends now you Pommy cunt

    You lot use cunt in the same way that you use mate, without the benefit of pronunciation it can be hard to tell whether its a term of endearment or an insult.

    Don't worry though, I managed to make it through four years of living in Australia without making any friends so I don't see why I should let my guard down now.

    Remember that profanity is the weak mind's attempt to express itself forcefully.

    Ah, who am I kidding? I'm weak, my mind's weak... profanity as a first language is all I have going for me.

    As long as its been brought up, though, we'd probably all do well to reduce the usage of that particular word just a hair. If you must use it, spell it Irish like koont or NZedish like kint, Strayan like cunzor.

  • @strathlubnaig

    @Chris

    @Marcus

    @Chris don't try to be friends now you Pommy cunt

    You lot use cunt in the same way that you use mate, without the benefit of pronunciation it can be hard to tell whether its a term of endearment or an insult.

    Don't worry though, I managed to make it through four years of living in Australia without making any friends so I don't see why I should let my guard down now.

    ha ha, yes, in Scotland they use the C word as an adjective too, as in "I got a cunting puncture today"

    Is that like a gash in the tire?

  • @Marcus

    @Chris oh yes and if you object to races with multiple finishing circuits I guess you must despise every Workd Champs and Olympic parcours?

    We didn't teach you much in your time out here did we?

    To be honest, I don't find them to be the most exciting of races but at least the participants tend to be on form rather than try to work of their Christmas pudding. The prize makes them a bit more interesting as well.

    @frank Totally get the whole weak mind thing, one just has to communicate on the level of the lowest common denominator. I'll tone it down a bit though.

    @Sauterelle

    @strathlubnaig

    @Chris

    @Marcus

    @Chris don't try to be friends now you Pommy cunt

    You lot use cunt in the same way that you use mate, without the benefit of pronunciation it can be hard to tell whether its a term of endearment or an insult.

    Don't worry though, I managed to make it through four years of living in Australia without making any friends so I don't see why I should let my guard down now.

    ha ha, yes, in Scotland they use the C word as an adjective too, as in "I got a cunting puncture today"

    Is that like a gash in the tire?

    Beautifully done. N i p p l e   L u b e.

  • @frank For the record, and since the details are most important Frhonnnk, Cunzor's a kiwi word not Strine. A c followed by the letters aaaarrrrnnntt is the traditional Aussie pronunciation, while in the recent past I've been a fan of the Wiggins option, involving asterisks.

  • Nicole Cooke's gold at Beijing was the highlight for me of a great games. I thought she'd bottled it going in to that last corner, she seemed to back off but she was really just backing herself fornthe uphill finish. I'd been up all night with my new born son, finally got him to sleep with about 10k to go then undid my good work, woke the poor little guy up as a roared at my tv and Ms Cooke across the line. Brilliant

  • @Sauterelle a little too close to the bone.

    On this Australia Day my on bike survey of my countrymen found interesting results. Over the space of 5.5 hours there was a 100% correlation between cars displaying Australian flags and drivers who acted like..... Farking Carnts.

  • Sitting on couch after ride watching the TDU and reading Velominati. I've got it all, pros cranking it up on TV and some quality blue language on Velominati, you cunts. The only thing missing is Heinrich and his bad hair getting ready to finish second on the stage.

  • @Marcus

    @Sauterelle a little too close to the bone.

    On this Australia Day my on bike survey of my countrymen found interesting results. Over the space of 5.5 hours there was a 100% correlation between cars displaying Australian flags and drivers who acted like..... Farking Carnts.

    Nah, fuck that.

    Spot on in my opinion.

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