I forget all maner of things these days. I forget that climbing isn’t fun; it hurts. I forget that I’m not good at it. I even forget what hurting feels like after it’s over, which I think might be at the root of why I keep going back for more. I forget my vows never to do a climb again (I’m having a re-match with Haleakala in August.) But most of all, I forget how hard this particular climb is.
Zoo Hill. It has a reputation around here in Seattle as being one of the hardest local climbs around. Naturally, some twisted ass decided to do a race up it as a fundraiser for cancer research. It’s not long, but at a length of 3.4 km and an elevation gain of puke, it’s a stinger that puts you squarely into the hurt locker for a lifetime-seeming quarter hour. Every time I ride it, I’m surprised by the same things. The first ramps are steeper than I expect as, unfortunately, are the secondary and tertiary sets. By halfway up, you’ve finished the twisty bits on rough roads and switch to the less steep section where I expect to take advantage of my comparative strength climbing rollers better than 15% ramps. This is where I’m surprised by how long the top is, and how steep it is, and how cooked I already am.
The top, in my estimation, is the hardest part. There’s not much of an art to the bottom. It’s steep. It’s twisty. It’s ugly riding, but there’s not much room for anything, and morale is reasonable since switchbacks will make you feel like a Pro even when you’re going as slowly as I’m bound to. But the top is a long straight road with a few sections that ease off where a strong rider will move Sur La Plaque and make big gains. But there is something about a long straight road that makes a painful climb even more agonizing. I think it’s the fact that every pedal stroke only serves to beat one simple fact into your head: you are not at the end yet, and that last pedal stroke didn’t bring you nearly as close as you’d liked.
After the race was all said an done last year, and the last memory of pain had left my feeble mind, I remarked that I’d like to go sub-13, which is a lofty goal. Even with the weight I’ve lost this year, I’m thinking that’s a tall order, and I’m even a tall guy. I also said I’d try and go top ten, which is more than lofty. I’m really wondering what I was thinking, as I’m pretty sure I don’t take halucaknogetics. But goals are made to be broken, so I’m going for them both, and vow to leave everything on the road in my effort. It is likely to rain, too, which will make it even more interesting.
The pain I’m sure to endure will be made a bit better knowing that the ride is for cancer research with donations going to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, which represents one of the best hopes we have in our fight against this terrible disease that touches so many of us. The Climb4Ccancer Charity has organized several local businesses who will match any donation made by the racers on race day, so if you’re riding, bring your checkbook. Also, many thanks to Joel Blatt who organizes the race each year, and to Branford Bike who is the sponsor and will be providing prizes. Doug at Branford acted as my consigliere during my TSX build and even rebuilt my Ergo levers for me. Great guys, and vehement followers of The Rules.
Special note to G’rilla, who is starting 30 seconds after me: if you pass me, I’m taking back your V-Kit and demoting you to a permanent Level 4.
*Note: the map above is in miles and feet. Despite my best efforts, MapMyRide refused to display this in metric. Shame on them.
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View Comments
@frank
Just out of curiosity, do you know what the fastest ascent was? Wondering if my formula worked ...
@Marcus
My lowest ratio (34/25) is (just) higher than Brett's (39/29). So neither of us have the required leg strength to do any serious damage to anyone's gonads. I assume that's why he got deported from Australia.
@Bianchi Denti
I was momentarily enthused by that excuse. Then I remembered that I sprint even worse than I climb. (Refer above disclosure of absence of leg strength.)
@Steampunk
I'll see your physics and raise you a biology. (Again, refer above disclosure.)
@frank @G'phant
I keep the 39 on my bike as extra weight for training. The same goes for most of the cassette that isn't 11.
@Bianchi Denti
Brilliant. I sprint like Schleck and climb like Cav. Or sprint like Wiggo, climb like Cav, descend like Jens, and have the tactical acumen of a Schleck.
@brett
Boom goes the dynamite!
@Steampunk
You know what they say, if a joke's funny once, then it's funny a thousand times.
@Michael
The winning time was 10:46. So,
time = winners time * (1 + n * pi/10)Gives
t = 646s * 1 + 1 * pi/10)Which is
t = 646s * 1.314Which is
t = 848.94sConverted from seconds to minutes is
t = 14:15Wow. Off by four seconds. Amazing.
The winning time (same rider) was a full 36 seconds slower than last year. In fact, your question inspired me to look through the results and, while there were a whole host of non-starters (few participants) due to the weather (Rule 9, anyone?) it appears that every rider I see who did it this year and last year went slower, often at least 10 seconds slower, if not upwards of 30 seconds to a minute.
I guess that puts a welcome perspective on my 15-second decrease in time. Last year I was 3:54 back on the same winner and this year 3:33. I guess that makes me a little less suicidal.
@Bianchi Denti
I was thinking about that...I have been training for Haleakala Round Two, not focussing on short, steep climbs as much as last year. Working on different kinds of efforts is a great excuse. Must find a good way to state this comprehensively.
@frank
Ha! The rule of pi works again. I'd say we're of similar ability with respect to the local studs. I've stopped aiming for a goal time, too many independent variables. I just look at ratio to the best time on individual events. As you noted, just looking at the raw time obscures the fact that you are probably more fit on this climb than you were last year. Well done.
@frank
Actually, kidding aside, interval sprints have been proven to help with endurance work and might be a more efficient method of training. I'll see if I can dig up the original research (some of it done here at McMaster).
@frank
Superman wears Jens Voigt pyjamas to bed.
Jens Voigt was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
@Steampunk
If JENS made an attemp at the Hour Record, he'd do it in 59 minutes. (Another shameless BRR rehash.)
@Steampunk
I've read the same or related/similar studies, too. Interesting stuff. I think Carmichael also has a book on it, something about a time-crunched cyclist. Cool that some of that research was done at your school. I think there's truth to it, too, except I'm always skeptical when people say "only do hard workouts" for the same reasons I am of people saying only do low-intensity. (Same goes for diet.). The body loves variation, so mix it up, be sensible, and ride lots.