Categories: Racing

Sabotaging the saboteur? Paulo ran me down, but the Dutch say I punched him.

Falcon down

Some of you may have noticed KRX-10‘s comment on my earlier post regarding Sabotage. Well, needless to say, I was overjoyed to see the pictures he provided of the “sabotage” incident. I’m sure it’s lost on no one that his joke is based on the fact that I’m an American citizen of direct Dutch decent and because of me, the American Discovery Channel cycling team lost one of its key riders during the 2006 Tour de France – a perfect example of “the ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team.”

Well, there’s some background to this story that deserves to be told. Michelle and I have twice been to France (in 2003 and 2006) to ride and follow the Tour when it comes near the area we stay in Aspet, France. This has been a truly exciting experience both times, and we have memories from both trips that will stay with us for ever.

During each of the two trips, we’ve chosen one major mountain stage to camp out on the roadside overnight and watch the Tour come by the next day. The first time we did this was a fairy-tale, textbook experience. We stayed on Alpe d’Huez and slept on the roadside. We brought a few bottles of wine, and made friends with people with whom we could only communicate through gestures and third or fourth party broken translations. The most colorful of these friends were a group of Italians who became drunk, invited us to their house in Tuscany, and declared us all to be lifelong friends. The next morning, as we were dragging ourselves up from a long sleepless night, the leader of their group visited our tent with a suspicious looking glass of something. I somehow managed to ask if it was wine. He gave me a disgusted, insulted look and said, “No. It’s 7am. This is Grappa.” Well, needless to say they continued on that path and the day culminated with them marching single-file down the center of the road a few hours before the Tour came by – buck naked.

The trip to the Tour in 2006 was no less memorable. We went down to Pla-de-Beret in Spain to watch the race on its first major mountain stage. We camped overnight, hung out the next day and headed down the mountain some distance to watch the race come by. I usually like to photograph the riders as they come racing by, so that’s what I was doing again this time. The lead group including Floyd Landis came by, followed by more and more riders, and I got some great shots. Some time later, the grupetto containing many of the sprinters and domestiques came by. The group was coming up the mountain, and I noticed one of my favorite riders, Tom Boonen, in the group – on the far side of the road. I judged the speed of the group coming up to me and determined I could just barely dash across the road in time to not interfere, allowing me to get a great shot of one of my heros. Having no time to waste, I shot across the road as fast as I could go. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly found myself numb and in midair.

Knowing that the groupetto and its various surrounding motorcycles and cars were fast approaching, I made like a steamroller towards the side of the road in order to avoid the unappealing fate of being run over; my head was spinning as I was trying to understand what happened and why my whole body ached.

As I heard the bicycle wheels, motorcycles and cars whiz past me and on up the road, I gathered myself together and looked to the other side of the road from where the blow had been delivered. There, crouching on the ground, sat Paulo Salvoldelli – screaming at me in Italian with blood pouring down his face. As it turns out, he had decided not to wait for his team bus and to instead ride (helmetless I might add) down the mountain – against the direction of the race route – while the race was still in progress. I am no expert at judging the speed of an object that smacks you unexpectedly from behind, but I’d guess that he was traveling somewhere between 20 and 30 km/h. The impact dislocated my shoulder (an injury which still bothers me today) and gave me several large bumps and bruises.

As Michelle helped him up, I yelled my apologies from across the street before making it gingerly across to see if I could somehow help. I felt terrible.

As if I didn’t feel badly enough already, we found out the next day that Paulo had dropped out of the Tour, citing his head injury as the reason.

While I’m ashamed to have knocked him out of the Tour, I must ask you to consider the following: what was he doing coming down the race course during the race – in the wrong direction? Further, why was he going so fast and not coming to a stop or slowing if the racers coming up were close enough that I hardly thought I could jump 4 feet across the narrow road to get the other side in time? Was he about to pile-drive the groupetto?

I like to think I saved Tom Boonen’s Tour that day. When you think of it, I’m a hero.

Anyway, like all crazy experiences, I have since taken a sort of odd pride in this tale, and upon our return from France, I scoured the internet for evidence of the incident, and to try to find out what the cycling community thought of it – to no avail. I found a few smatterings of information, but nothing interesting or conclusive.

Then, a few days ago, KRX-10 posted this series of pictures which he apparently found on a Japanese website somewhere last summer and had been holding onto until “the right moment.” It was one of the biggest surprises I’ve had in a long time, and Michelle and I certainly got an enormous kick out of it.

Then, in a dazzling display of Google savvy, Michelle tracked down two posts on the internet talking about the incident. The first had a reasonably accurate description of it. But – hilariously – the other post was on a Dutch news site. She asked me to translate. My jaw dropped when I read the headline. “Bicycle tourist punches Savoldelli out of the Tour”. The post went on to say a drunken tourist punched him to the ground. In a mind-bending, dizzying, cyclical scenario, are the Dutch trying to sabotage the saboteur?

I’m forever indebted to KRX-10 and Michelle for finding these jems. Although, I have to say I suspect that Michelle is just trying to make up for the fact that she is showing no concern for my wellbeing whatsoever in these photos. Her first comment to me after Paulo rode off was not, “ARE YOU OK?” but was instead, “MY BIKE IS LIGHTER THAN HIS!”

Oddly, I was reasonably receptive of the news and was rather interested to hear more on the subject.

Photo Album: Dutch Saboteur gets bitch-slapped by a 120 pound Italian

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Now I'm really discouraged. I realize, of course, that what goes up must come down, and therefore Frank was ridiculously callous in his actions and know nothing about cycling and physics. This site sucks.

  • just admit it velominati you made a mistake

    How do you "wreck a care"? Is that when you crash into an elderly person's home-help?

    I meant career -sorry for my bad spelling

    Do you think anyone would care about Paulo's care if it had been an eight year-old kid he'd piled into and potentially hospitalised?

    If Paulo hit a 8yr old it would be the parents fault for not looking after the kid. The parents should of being watching the 8yr.

    Would you care?
    yes

    So what difference does it make if he hits a full-grown man (other than the full-grown man would likely suffer far less injuries than an 8 year-old)?

    A full grown man should be smart enough to look before he crosses the road.
    Paulo is paid enough to watch where he is riding, especially as he is certainly aware of how cycling works - the average fan, on the other hand, may know as much about the rules, written or unwritten, as they do about astrophysics.

    It is basic knowledge you LOOK before you cross the road.

  • @adrian Beware; Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny...

  • adrian

    It is basic knowledge you LOOK before you cross the road.

    Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future...Meditate on this, I will...

  • @adrian
    As members of the community, one of our key responsibilities is building the illusion that we know anything about cycling and making sure @Steampunk never feels duped or disappointed. He is a very fragile man.

    I do have just a few questions and tips for you:

    NUMBER ONE: Do you read as poorly as your write? I mean, are the letters all jumbled up like that when you look at words, too? Because it really seems like you only read the title of the piece, looked at the pictures, jumped to a few conclusions, and then started posting.

    NUMBER TWO: You have clearly outlined that everyone in this scenario is responsible for their own behaviors. Except Paulo. You're absolutely right, they are above these things. Those poor Pros are victims and can't be held accountable for their actions. This also applies, I assume, to doping.

    NUMBER THREE: Get a spell checker. Or pay attention to the little squiggly line that most browsers these days show you when you have misspelled something. You may also want to dabble in some English studies.

    NUMBER FOUR: Please, PLEASE, read some more articles and leave us some more manic posts. They're gold, mate.

    @KitCarson
    Strong work.

  • @Steampunk Eh, mate..In order to be disillusioned you have to have illusions to begin with...it's a tough reality check for all of us. Frank's Velominatus training is obviously, incomplete...

  • @KitCarson
    Lando-ing is all about illusions. Tricking your body into thinking it can harder and longer. As per Wiggins: we're all one minute from cracking, so you just have to ride for one more minute.

    @frank
    This seems to run contrary to the illusion I'm trying to create that I'm an aspiring cognoscentus. Fragile only behind the computer screen; on the bike, the BFGs take over.

  • Fucking comedy gold. And I thought it was Emma Pooley's Rainbow Jersey that had put me in a good mood all day. Obviously not

    <prayer>
    please, Adrian, please plead that English isn't your first language
    </prayer>

    Il Falco, forever flying dangerously close to the 50% hct limit.

    It is basic knowledge to loo both ways before crossing a road, when that road is open. But that road was closed and would remain so until the following police escort re-opened it. Therefore, the only traffic on it should have been those riders still competing and their support and they would only be coming from one direction. So why the need to look both ways? If there was someone coming from the other direction, then they were illegally riding on closed roads.

    Now if I were to, heaven forbid, ride the wrong way on a closed road knowing full-well that I might happen to bump into a few hundred-thousand fans and some of my colleagues, I think I might try to keep my speed down and be ready to give way to those people lawfully allowed to be on that section of road.

    Unless of course, I was a pig-arrogant pro cyclist in desperate need to re-hydrate/water down my blood before a doping test/have a transfusion who had long forgotten that pro cyclists are actually just another part of the human-race and not some immortal demi-god to whom the laws and morals of the road and life do not apply

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