Categories: Defining MomentsEtiquetteRacingRantings from the V-Bunker

The First Weak

Black eyes and yellow jersey go together like wine and pasta.

Three days in, and it’s already been a brutal opening week of the Tour. I’ve never heard of the Tour neutralizing part of the stage unless a Schleck was involved, but I was relieved to understand that the reason for the neutralization had more to do with how many doctors were available for the second crash than it did with the riders’ safety. That’s a load off; for a second there I thought the sport was going soggy on us.

Fabian broke his back for the second time this season, which makes me wonder what his plans are for the rest of the year. Appenzeller and blackouts seems like a good place to start; I don’t think he needs any more memories. Nibbles and Quintannaroo missed the split on Stage 2 and lost over a minute. Froome humped a lightbulb like a maniac up the Mur de Huy to take some more time on everyone but J-Rod. My Merckx, Chris can make a bike go batshit fast but fuck me if he doesn’t make it look absolutely horrendous. If everyone looked like him, I don’t believe I’d ever have gotten into the sport.

All this is to say that the opening week of the Tour de France sets it apart from every other Grand Tour; the large field, the level of competition, and the nature of the windy, mostly flat opening stages makes for chaos and chaos makes for crashes. How many riders have lost their chance at the Tour’s GC in a moment of inattention during the first 7 days on the bike? Even Hinault did a face-plant during the stage to Saint Etienne in 1985, although only he knows why he would be so reckless as to contest a bunch sprint in the first few days of the race.

Froomedog looks very good. On paper anyway, he looks horrible on the bike. I mean, look at him. He looks Nibbles in 2014 strong. Nibbles looks fit but seems a bit inattentive. Quintana looks overwhelmed. Contador looks fit tired. Everyone but Froome is looking for their peak; the only question on Froome is whether he’s peaking too soon. Remember that l’Alpe d’Huez comes on the Saturday before Paris.

The first signs of weakness are exposed in the first week of the Tour. And tomorrow we ride the cobbles. Fuck yeah cobbles.

Vive le Tour and Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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AJ says:

Jul 9 2015 at 6:43 am

@AJ

The only reason I can pick ok now is that there is nothing riding on it. My VSP picks will show that if there is something on the line I fail miserably. That’s not to say that if there was a Draft Kings style site for daily Le Tour picks I wouldn’t be betting on it, I just wouldn’t be betting much at all. I will also probably get every mountain stage wrong. That said….

I am rooting for Kristoff, but I think Degenkolb takes this one. Sagan could be a flyer, but I think he is burning too many matches having to work for Contador.

I will add that if "Bling" Matthews wasn't so banged up, I would have picked him without a doubt. I think he is more mentally tough than the others.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 9 2015 at 7:01 am

@AJ

Kwiatkowski would have to be a fair chance, but like Sagan has been spending some petrol tickets looking after teammates in the first week.
AJ says:

Jul 9 2015 at 9:19 am

@Mikael Liddy

I will say that I definitely didn't think the winner would have been the winner. It was a passing thought, but I wouldn't have bet on it.
shaun-kellyvivid57-co-uk says:

Jul 9 2015 at 1:59 pm

This.
WindDrifter says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:19 pm

Race interview with Nibali:

Nibali added, “you always hurt yourself” in a crash, no matter how trivial it might appear. When asked if he would continue, he drew a loud round of laughter when he said, “We’re cyclists, not footballers.”

:-)
Matt says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:41 pm

@WindDrifter

Race interview with Nibali:

When asked if he would continue, he drew a loud round of laughter when he said, “We’re cyclists, not footballers.”

If I didn't have a crush on Nibbles before he dropped that line, I definitely do now.

Absolutely fucking gutted for Der Panzerwagen though. That broke my heart to watch.
Teocalli says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:51 pm

@Matt

@WindDrifter

Race interview with Nibali:

When asked if he would continue, he drew a loud round of laughter when he said, “We’re cyclists, not footballers.”

If I didn’t have a crush on Nibbles before he dropped that line, I definitely do now.

Absolutely fucking gutted for Der Panzerwagen though. That broke my heart to watch.

You don't suppose he is reading this and saw @barracuda's post?
Matt says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:56 pm

@Teocalli

@Matt

@WindDrifter

Race interview with Nibali:

When asked if he would continue, he drew a loud round of laughter when he said, “We’re cyclists, not footballers.”

If I didn’t have a crush on Nibbles before he dropped that line, I definitely do now.

Absolutely fucking gutted for Der Panzerwagen though. That broke my heart to watch.

You don’t suppose he is reading this and saw @barracuda‘s post?

I am certainly going to believe that he was browsing the V-Mobile site and saw said post.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 9 2015 at 3:29 pm

@AJ Well I figured the final was well set up for a Strade Bianche winner, just picked the wrong year!
AJ says:

Jul 9 2015 at 3:39 pm

@Mikael Liddy

@AJ Well I figured the final was well set up for a Strade Bianche winner, just picked the wrong year!

Is is just me or has there been a lot of just looking around during final sprints? When der Panzerwagen took off everyone just looked around and waited for someone else to chase, he opened a gap to big to close down and won the stage. Same thing today, Stybar takes off, everyone looks around and by the time Sagan decides to chase its too late. Is this going to be a trend? Sprints in these opening stages have just been a clusterfuck.