Categories: Racing

The Perfect Amount of Dumb

Spartacus doing what he does best: dishing out pain.

I find professional athletes – cyclists in particular – an impressive bunch.  They are hard, disciplined people who ply their trade in some of the most atrocious conditions imaginable.  To become professionals, they have to be good at what they do, and smart enough to learn how to continue succeeding despite the gaps between the top of the sport continually narrowing.    They have to learn to live right and train right.  They have to listen to their coaches.   They have to learn to control their mind and to override the signals their bodies are sending.  They need to be smart enough to read an ever-changing race and smell the right moment to make their move; disaster and glory can be separated only by a split-second reaction born out of intuition mixed with experience and intelligence.

But the best athletes are also a little bit dumb.  Men like Fabian Cancellara, Jens Voigt, or Tom Boonen; these are the men who flog themselves for hours on end and, when their bodies are about to break, dial it up a notch and lay it all out on the road.  A smarter man would, under those circumstances, say, “You know what?  This is nice, but I can also go less hard.”

Not asking that sort of question after dropping the flashlight deep in the pain cave is the perfect amount of dumb.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Oh good, being dumb is useful in cycling. At last Tomeke and I have something in common. Being a little dumb might help in the training too; going out for a few hours with the brain doing nothing more than guiding the autopilot and keeping the power plant humming helps make the miles zoom by.
    Which is what Spatacus is going to have to do when he resets the hour record this year.

  • @john
    Being a little dumb helps in a lot of things. Zoning out and not thinking about every pedal stroke in a 200km ride is definitely good.

    The military - I suspect - also benefits from the perfect amount of dumb; you konw, people not saying, "It's possible I might be over-thinking this one, but how's about I don't walk into that bloodbath over there and get killed? How's about I stay back here at the bunker, knock back a couple brewskies, and you guys fill me in when you get back."

  • @john
    The Hour Record. It's universally accepted by everyone who does it (except Boardman) to be the most awful thing humanly possible in cycling. You definitely have to be a bit on the dim side to say, "Yeah, that one. That's the one I want to do."

    Man, that's going to be rad, though, when he does it. Campy Bless that guy.

  • @Marko
    Have you seen the footage of him beating Levi at the Tour of Germany? The guy just fucking pounds up that hill...you can almost smell the lactic acid.

  • @frank

    No, where can I find it? Fun to see him off to a good start at P-N though. Looks like that nasty face crash healed up well. He's cool.

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