Categories: Racing

The Perfect Amount of Dumb

Spartacus doing what he does best: dishing out pain.

I find professional athletes – cyclists in particular – an impressive bunch. They are hard, disciplined people who ply their trade in some of the most atrocious conditions imaginable. To become professionals, they have to be good at what they do, and smart enough to learn how to continue succeeding despite the gaps between the top of the sport continually narrowing. They have to learn to live right and train right. They have to listen to their coaches. They have to learn to control their mind and to override the signals their bodies are sending. They need to be smart enough to read an ever-changing race and smell the right moment to make their move; disaster and glory can be separated only by a split-second reaction born out of intuition mixed with experience and intelligence.

But the best athletes are also a little bit dumb. Men like Fabian Cancellara, Jens Voigt, or Tom Boonen; these are the men who flog themselves for hours on end and, when their bodies are about to break, dial it up a notch and lay it all out on the road. A smarter man would, under those circumstances, say, “You know what? This is nice, but I can also go less hard.”

Not asking that sort of question after dropping the flashlight deep in the pain cave is the perfect amount of dumb.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

PeakInTwoYears says:

Mar 22 2013 at 9:46 am

Casually Deliberate?
Buck Rogers says:

Mar 22 2013 at 9:56 am

@PeakInTwoYears

Casually Deliberate?

Now THAT is a hipster that I can get behind!
PeakInTwoYears says:

Mar 22 2013 at 10:01 am

@Buck Rogers

For the briefest moment, I wondered about the walking stick in conjunction with the bike. But then I remembered that Holmes was expert in singlestick fighting as well as in the art of Bartitsu, which incorporated stick fighting. I don't remember which story this is, but perhaps he's anticipating the possibility of physical unpleasantness.
the Engine says:

Mar 24 2013 at 5:12 pm

@PeakInTwoYears

@Buck Rogers

For the briefest moment, I wondered about the walking stick in conjunction with the bike. But then I remembered that Holmes was expert in singlestick fighting as well as in the art of Bartitsu, which incorporated stick fighting. I don't remember which story this is, but perhaps he's anticipating the possibility of physical unpleasantness.

You will recall my dear @PeakinTwoYears that Mr Holmes used Bartitsu in "The Adventure of the Empty House" on his return from the contretemps with Dr Moriarty at the Reichenbach falls. Sadly there is little if anything in the Canon on Mr Holmes's cycling predilections - although he would have doubtless been off his tits on heroin whatever his mode of transport.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Mar 24 2013 at 7:58 pm

@the Engine

Well played, sir. Chapeau.