These cobbles don't stand a chance against little Lizzie A. Photo: Ashley Gruber.
For those of you with an interest in the subtle art of Paying Attention, you may have noticed a few things about my writing technique: apart from the inescapable fact that it is untrained and terrible, I make a habit of overusing the semicolon, a practice I started when I heard my third grade teacher tell me it was a substitute for any conjunction. That might not be what she said and it is definitely not correct; that’s what I heard and it stuck. I also capitalize every word that holds a personal meaning, a habit I co-opted from German where nouns are typically capitalized; it left an impression on me in terms of valuing words with importance. I took this principle and applied it according to my own whimsy, as I am wont to do, and now capitalize every important word, like “Cycling”, “Awesome”, and “Looking Fantastic”.
On that subject, can I just say 2016 Is Getting Off On The Right Foot. Het Volk (which I refuse to call by its correct name) saw two seriously legitimate podiums, with rainbows in both the men and the women’s races. I’m still not sure if the Saganwagon is wearing Rule #33 legs, but Lizzie pulled a Cancellara and just “accidentally” dropped the bunch to win the first continental race she competed in while wearing the rainbow bands. And both World Champions are wearing black bibshorts, something they had to gain UCI approval for. I have to say, a small part of me feels like our work here is done. Then Faboo and Lizzie crushed the gravel in the Strade Bianche. Then, Paris-Nice, which is a snoozer of a race as far as I’m concerned, loaded up today’s stage up with Chalk Dust Torture roads. Ohhellsyeah.
With how much V has been pouring out of the sport so far this season, this is trending well to be a strong year. Last year for Keepers Tour, we lived a dream by riding the cobbles in the rain and mud, but were once again disappointed to witness yet another dry Paris-Roubaix. This year will be different. Statistically speaking, this lies in favor of the law of averages. The rains will fall, the roads will be slick with silt, manure and mud, and the three will be indistinguishable to the rider chewing on the rooster tail of the rider in front.
I will commit an entire paragraph to point out that Tom Boonen is the only active Paris-Roubaix podium placer to have raced Paris-Roubaix in the wet, way back in 2002. He came in third. In truth, no one can call themselves a Cobbles Specialist if they haven’t raced the cobbles in the wet. That makes Boonen the King of the Cobbles of our generation. Even more so than Kenny.
So fuck yeah cobbles and fuck yeah rain. This can’t be another dry Cobbled Classics week in April. May the rains fall as heavy as the V.
VLVV.
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Things that do disappoint me: that there's no womens P-R, so we're denied the prospect of Queen Lizzie crushing mud slicked cobbles to solo into the velodrome.
But then idiocy meant we were denied the chance to actually watch her win in Sienna.
Fuck yeah cobbles. Don't forget that many have raced the cobbles in the wet - just not P-R.
Boom, Westra, Fuglsang showed their character. Other big names didn't seem to like it so much...
Look at the pic closely of Lizzie (besides the awesomeness)... she has the nr 13 but is so confident she didn't put it upside down...... That is casually fantastic.
"Dutch and German where nouns are typically capitalized"
That's German. Dutch doesn't do that. First word of a sentence, names, stuff like that get's capitalized.
Capitalizing Important Words is more of a Terry Pratchet thing. Or perhaps Thing. Be sure to see that as a compliment.
Trending? Did I fall into that awful morass known as yahoo.com?
I'd go with steadily developing. But hey, whaddo I know. (I'll accept my fuck off in advance!)
Surprised there is no mention of Big Tom's comments after the stage yesterday. If guys raced in embro with old socks on their arms not that long ago, surely there isn't much room for complaining when you are covered head-to-toe in fantastically technical materials.
Got to give a thumbs up for any article that has a picture of Lizzie at the top.
And two in just over two weeks as well.
@Harminator
Let's not forget Thomas dragging Plan B through hell. It's quite clear whose enjoying themselves and who isn't
@Harminator
Boom's stage 5 win in '14 goes down as one of my all time fave's. 189km in 3.25 hours or something looney tunes like that racing in those conditions? Incredible. Though Nibali won the tour on this stage, it was Boom, running on some kinda hi-test, that simply smashed it and gave me much appreciation for the expertise of a CX racer translating in to road success. Why oh why did he have to end up in the world's ugliest kit the next year?
@fenlander
10-4 to that ! Cheers
@chris
Possibly the best grimace ever, no showing of pain, just sheer will power and massive amounts of V.