You can’t teach an old dog new tricks but you can grab a beer and watch that old dog do the same stupid thing over and over again, which is almost the same as a doing trick. On an unrelated note, I find myself, for the third year running, staring down the business end of the week approaching the Climb4Cancer time trial up Zoo Hill in Issaquah, Washington.
Zoo Hill is perhaps the most diabolical climb I know of, and I include in that statement the various cobbled bergs we tackled in Belgium this year, as well as the considerable heap of climbs around the US and Europe that I’ve had the great pleasure of hauling my too fat to climb carcass up. The trouble with this particular climb is the ferocity of the lower pitches which give way to a dead-straight final section of road consisting of ever-steepening rollers.
There is no keeping the powder dry on the ramps that litter the bottom half of the climb; this is an á bloc, stay-alive effort which serves to mop up speed and morale in equal measure. By the time you make the right-hand turn onto the sinister second half of the climb, your guns are fried and lungs hemorrhaging V resin. This section of road is nearly straight (which Science has proven is the most annoying kind of road to climb) and consists of a series of rollers which gain in gradient and culminate with the longest and steepest of them. This section is made physically daunting by the already-blown guns at your disposal, and mentally devastating by the fact that even if you could remember how many rollers there are in total, there is no way you can remember how many you’ve already sorted. (The answers are always “too many” and “not enough”, respectively.)
Riding this section during recon, it’s tempting to imagine moving Sur La Plaque and using the momentum from the short descents to fly up the next roller and thus dispatching with this comparatively easier section without much ado. Arriving here during the race, however, one faces an alternate reality consisting of legs reduced to quivering lumps of useless flesh, and rather than slipping into the big ring, ghost-shifting into a non-existent lower gear.
I look forward to my next attempt at bettering my time up Haleakala in Hawaii, which represents an unrelenting 60km ride from sea level to 3,000 meters, dished out in a massive four-hour helping of serial suffering. But I find nothing but dread in my heart when I cast my mind to the quarter of an hour of comprehensive pain I will endure on Saturday.
Donations Update
This event is organized to support cancer research with donations going to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. The Climb4Cancer Charity has arranged for donation-matching; for those of you who donated prior to the event, your contributions were given in the name of the Velominati Community. Thanks to you all for your support.
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The interwebs are eating my posts! Either that or I'm being moderated.
@CanuckChuck
Found a whole load of posts in the moderation queue. Nothing personal. Just happens sometimes. I'll sort it eventually.
@frank
1) Convert the .fit file from your garmin to a .tcx file, either by loading it and saving it via connect.garmin.com or ridewithgps.com.
2) Open the .tcx file with your favorite xml editor (or notepad, but you strike me as a guy that has a favorite xml editor).
3) Figure look at the sections and figure out when you want the ride to start. Then delete all sections until the header (if that is the right term).
4) Save the .tcx file.
5) Delete the previously loaded activity in Strava.
6) Upload the activity from file.
7) Strava should now reflect your true performance.
And if anyone asks, we never had this conversation.
@scaler911
That is the simple truth of any TT, and certainly of any uphill TT. Respect.
OK, good to know. I'll stop trying to post (over and over) my instructions on how to edit your Strava file. Your filter probably picked up on the mention of file extensions and the XML talk and got excited.
@CanuckChuck Well, in that particular case, the spam filter might be helping me out seeing as I know how to edit my strava files! More that it doesn't factor too highly on my to-do list to get bothered by it...
How do you guys train for these events? Any good programs? I've got a KOM race in October and want to give it my best shot and looking for a good 3 month plan
@CanuckChuck, @frank
Found your instructions; you're not kidding that you posted it over and over! Great tips, I'll get around to it some time in 2013!
@Adrian
You'll have to ask someone else for a specific plan. I forgot about the race until the Sunday prior and then just did some emergency hill repeats, but nothing serious. I suck at short efforts - always have - and I suck at steep climbs. Longer efforts - 2-4 hours - is more up my alley.
The basics are simple enough; for longer hill climb training the key is that you have to sustain the power for so long, without respite (usually), so you have to find a good way to train your body into doing that. If you have a good hill thats long enough for it, you can train there, but otherwise the turbo might be the ticket. Set it to a high resistance and work on your sustained power. And always do your intervals and strengthen your core.
The Dutch train for the mountains by riding into the wind, incidentally, and that seems to work as they historically are pretty good climbers, the lanky fucks.
@Adrian
I've heard that moving to an island off the coast of Africa with a volcano on it works well.
But, really, and I know that I sound like a complete wise-ass, but really not meaning to, just ride a ton of hills with hill repeats. I find the only way to get better at climbing is to climb, a lot. Not at all helpful, I know, but I personally do not know of any specific training cycle for hill climbs. It is just time spent in the pain cave on the mountain.
Hopefully some one will say that I am a complete idiot (and they'd most likely be right) and post an awesome 3 month tailored Hill Climbing TT plan.
@Adrian
Ask Scaler911 or SuperFed what they do. I watched them both ride away from me multiple times up a hill on Saturday.
Here is what NOT to do: drink lots of IPA the night before the ride, go to bed still a few sheets to the wind, and wake up early the next day. THAT is how to train for mega side cramps.