Velominati Super Prestige: 2011 Le Tour de France
While a good number of Velominati get all uppity around May and make rash statements like their preferred Grand Tour is the Giro d’Italia, because it has more and bigger climbs, beautiful white roads and crazy tifosi, there’s no denying that Le Tour de France is the real grandaddy of them all.
Admit it, July trumps May every time.
Maybe it’s because of the greater media attention, or the fact that there’s bound to be a controversy, but I for one look forward to this time of year with a fervour that has myself and others residing in the lower half of the world consuming inhuman amounts of caffeine and staving off sleep deprivation for 21 days on end, without question or cause for concern. It’s all about the bike (race) and nothing else really gets a look in. Job? Ah, we can do that blurry-eyed and with concentration levels that are probably below safe standards if operating heavy machinery. Or even computers. In fact, operating a computer becomes the central task of the day, as we check results, reports, the topography and distance of the next stage, and of course our VSP standings.
Which brings us to the Blue Riband event on the 2011 Velominati Super Prestige; Le Tour de France. Who will be resplendent in the Maillot Jaune after three weeks of high-pressure tipping, rest-day swaps and bonus stage picks? Have we seen the last of Steampunk’s yellow reign of terror? It’s time to peak, to climb well for your weight, and move Sur La Plaque to the top of the VSP. Study the guidelines (with a grain of salt, as whatever we say here overrides the guide, so ask if you’re not sure), respect the Piti Principle, and enjoy the next three weeks of the greatest show on earth. As usual, get your picks in by 5am Pacific time on Saturday morning. If you wait until the last moment and bugger it up, don’t come crying, just wait until the first rest day with all the others who pulled a Delgado.
Brett’s Take:
As a Keeper, my own tips don’t count to any jerseys or prizes, so this Tour I think I’ll tip with my heart rather than my head; it’s let me down enough this season anyway, so any ‘logic’ or ‘knowledge’ is to be discarded and replaced with ’emotion’ and ‘taking a stab in the dark’. In fact, I might even target the KOM this time around, try and get in some long breakaways and pick up points over the smaller cols while none of the big contenders are paying any real attention. Yeah, channel the spirit of JaJa, Reeshard and the Chicken. Better get me some juice.
Taking the heart over head approach, I have to say that this is going to be the year of an upset. It’s there for Cadelephant to take. The cards are all falling for him; Cont Of The Highest Odor will fade in the last week, spent from his Giro and without a reliable supply of prime beef to call upon; Grimplette, while he may have been foxing in Switzerland, just doesn’t have the firepower to match it with Cuddles or COTHO against the clock, and hasn’t got the mental capacity to attack in the mountains. Wiggins, Gesink, Grimpelder… they’ll be fighting for scraps.
It’s a three horse race, this one, but at last count there’s only three steps on a podium.
Marko’s Take:
Recently on these pages we’ve at once lamented the loss of the all-rounder GC contender and derided the formulaic predictability that “well-rounded” riders in the modern peloton employ to win races. All the names at the top of the Giants of the Road list, however, excelled at one thing, winning the biggest sporting event in the world. But it isn’t climbing prowess, time trialling efficiency, tactical sense, and winning ability alone that endear riders to us. If it was it would be way easier and really boring to be a cycling fan. So what is the difference between a guy like say, LeMan and a guy like Armstrong? Panache. What we’ve lost isn’t a type of rider but a style of rider. Rather what we’ve lost is panache. If, in the modern day, being a douchenozzle or belladonna means panache, so be it. But if doping scandals and bro-mances make you yawn, keep in mind there is a lot of bike racing going on in le Grand Boucle.
So I ask, where’s the panache as far as GC contenders go? Cuddles (may have blown his panache wad last year), Le Petit Grimpeur (no panache), Sammy Sanchez (panacheicito), Basso (panached-out), Horner (Mcpanache), JVDB (panache-a-be), CVDV (pa-crash), Veino (panachenozzle), and Ryder (trying to get all the Canadian panache that Don Cherry has been hogging for the last 30 years). For me, other than Cuddles, Veino, and Ryder it’s hard to get really excited about any of the GC contenders. But alas, I will not vote solely with my heart like my Aussie bro in New Zealand. I will do my best to garner points for no other reason than pride as I don’t get shit for winning either.
So then, now that I’ve gotten all pessimistic about the GC, what am I looking forward to? Panache, fucktards. I wanna see Faboo tow Frandy through the TTT for Leotard Schleck (thanks Dr C) and then make some perfect amount of dumb remark afterward. I wanna see Cavenisgrowingonmedish win some sprints. I wanna see Farrar beat the Manx Mouth in some sprints or cry trying. I wanna believe in the Rainbow Jersey again. I wanna see if Tomeke still has what it takes. I wanna see Jens hurt EVERYBODY. I wanna see some Russian or Spanish dude I’ve never heard of have the ride of his life and shed some tears on the podium, and I wanna see Gilbert on a long solo break on his birthday get himself a stage win and maybe even the yellow jersey for a bit.
The reason this race is so cool is there are so many races within the race. Sure, you betcha, get drawn into to GC drama but don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees. There’s a shit-ton gonna happen in the next three weeks and it’s gonna be good.
Gianni’s Take:
Burned from the all too predicable days of Pharmy, I just don’t care that much about the yellow jersey, Contador or a Schleck – ahhhh, who cares, skinny little bastards. I’m all in for the drama hidden within each day’s race. A stage win in the Tour can make a rider’s career and every stage has unscripted drama: Stuey O’Grady finishing the stage within the time limit, riding in from 100km out with a broken collar bone. Or Magnus Backstead riding in by himself, dropped in the small mountains, finishing beyond the time limit, his number peeled off his jersey and he is ruined. These things happen every day in the Tour.
I like a good spoiler, like Eros Poli on Mount Ventoux, or the spoiler small break that stays away when the last 40km is a high speed tailwind run, ruining a day for the sprinters. I like Rik Verbruggen, flat back, so aero on his bike, hauling ass, a crazy solo bid for glory. I want to see more of that. I would be thrilled to see one of the Garmin roulers win a stage, and I’ll be thrilled if HTC doesn’t win the TTT.
I can schleckulate about a few things: unless Contador and Cavendish get their front wheels tangled up together resulting in a horrendous career threatening crash, both Andy Schleck and Tyler Farrar are doomed. I’m sorry, Andy can’t go fast unless it’s a steep hill (up) and no one is as good a sprinter as Cav, by a lot. Then again, if my schleckulations were worth anything, I wouldn’t be down in the boggy hole that is the low end of the VSP results.
Frank’s Take:
Every year, it happens. Every single year. It has a bitter taste, Disappointment. It sits on the front of your tongue like a small black weight that is surprisingly heavy for its size. Even though you’re not swallowing it, the taste spreads throughout, slowly – into your jaws first, then the rest of your being.
With one exception, I have never had my chips down for a rider who ended up winning – not since 1990, when I was all-in for Greg LeMond. 1991-1995 was Indurain: I favored first Bugno, then Rominger. 1996: Virenque. 1997: Virenque. 1998: Pantani; it was a long shot, but the awesome little dude pulled it off for once in my life. 1999: Zulle. 2000-2004: Ullrich. 2005-2006: Basso. 2007: The Chicken. 2008: Frank Schleck. 2009-2010: The Grimplette. But I continue to favor the dark horse because I know that when I am redeemed, it will be glorious beyond articulation.
This will be that year. Not because I will change my tactic, but because this is the one for les Fréres Grimpeur. It’s a hilly enough race with enough uphill finishes – we all know the skinny boys have a challenge when the road points down. (You’d really think that with all that practicing they do going uphill that they’d occasionally get a chance to practice going down one as well, but those boys descend like first-year amateurs.) Bertie blew the guns at a very difficult Giro and all the Spanish Beef in the world can’t help you recoup from that kind of effort in time for a similarly difficult Tour. Cuddles is a pipe dream borne from the understandably optimistic thoughts from our antipodal brothers and sisters in Oz and Newz. Wiggo, Vande Velde, Gesink, and Van den Broek will all learn how hard it is to pull out a good Tour ride for a second (or first) time when the pressure is truly on.
I’ve also vowed not to get caught up in my propensity to dwell on the fact that Contador should not be in the race. The fact that a rider who failed a dope test in last year’s Tour has been allowed to start is a reflection of the ineffectiveness of Cycling’s governing bodies, not on Bertie. True, I hate him and would be happy to see him not start, but if I were in his shoes, I admit that would start if I was allowed to. And, lets face it: Andy’s win will mean more when it comes with the defeat of Alberto than with a nonstart.
Tommy V in Yellow would be a great thing to see.
That sucks for Hoogerland and Flecha – geez!
Looking for rest day switches, I still like my 1-2-3, but might trade one Sanchez for the other and what to do to round out my top 5 now that Horner’s out…
LL Cool S!!! Tommy V!! Great day today!
Okay, it’s the rest day now. I’m changing my picks to France TV #1, Getty images Moto #2, UCI_Overlord #3, Karpets #4 and Angelo Zomegnan’s dangerous Monte Crotsis descent #5…
The driver of that France televison car was a complete idiot.
@Oli
I wasn’t saying he (Thor) is a climber, I was saying that you can expect the unexpected in cycling.
@Pedale.Forchetta
And that’s a compliment. I can’t believe what I’ve just seen. It’s fucking outrageous! Gendarmes?
Flecha is a hard man of the highest order, as is Hoogerland. Major props.
If Karpets did bump Bertie off his bike he should be booted. I don’t care what he’s done, that’s out of line.
Are there any medics out there? What are these people doing picking up / moving guys who’ve had a major crash. Vino gets dragged up to the road with a broken pelvis? What ever happened to suspected spinal injury? I think the mechanism of injury indicates its fairly possible – no?
I love the way Stuey and Faboo take a wide view of issues in a race and instigate neutralisation or whatever. Classy.
And Tommy V? What a man eh? I read it here first. Love seeing a guy take yellow who is so overjoyed and so deserving. What a tour – unbelievable, exhausting and 2 weeks to go…
I’m enjoying this tour like all of you but I gotta say this darkness hanging over it is not cool. Accidents, majorly dangerous ones, that are factoring in so highly to the standings is not the kind of bike racing I’d like to see.
Haven’t seen the stage because the internet at the cabin I’m staying at was down this am…but here are the standings:
[vsp_results id=”8758″]
[/vsp_results]
Greetings – where do I go for login assistance? The login is not recognizing my username or email.
Thanks, 68th place on GC R00td0wn
@R00td0wn
Disregard – figured it out…
Hoogerland’s hard landing.
@xyxax
That’s sickening. Guy busts his tail every day showing some less-than-often-seen grinta, keeps himself well out of standard trouble of crashes in the pack by attacking every stage, then gets plowed by some full-throttle idiot who apparently left his brain at the hotel this morning.
Sick to my stomach for Hoogerland and Flecha because it was nothing they did wrong. If fact, they were doing so much right on this stage by riding balls out.
What an easily avoidable shame.
@Harminator much as some of my neighbours to the south love to bash France, give the Gendarmes and public prosecutor’s office a bit of time. I have a feeling that driver may be getting a visit from the constabulary soon.
As for who slowed down the peloton or not, some conflicting information on Eurosport this morning, but the key is they did the right thing to take the foot off the gas at that time, before resuming racing.
Awesome to see Tommy V back in yellow. :)
Shouldn’t I be able to sub out Jurgen van den Broeck? He crashed out today?
Johnny H will be hurting big time after today.it is amazing he kept riding.
@Leroy
Settle down. I’ll be updating the DNF list today and you can make your changes. In order to take advantage of your free swaps, though, you’ll have to do it by midnight tonight before the rest day picks swapping logic kicks in.
@frank
The DNF list has been updated, so anyone wanting to make changes to their picks for free on the DNF riders have until midnight Pacific time before the Rest Day Swaps kick in.
Some serious Rule #5 going on from Hoogerland today, those are some well-deserved tears of happiness. I’ll be contacting his team and sending him this Tour’s Rule #5 Award, which is a custom-etched V-Pint with his name carved in it along with 2011 Tour de France Rule #5 Award. Respec-P.
We’re running out of GC riders. And word is Contador’s knee is bothering him. Appropriate, though, that Little Tommy V applied a healthy dose of V today. It’s almost a shame to have him in yellow; it means he won’t be part of the breakaway. Rein Taaramae will finish in the top 10 of the TdF in the near future; quietly turning in an impressive performance so far.
And before French TV wiped out half the breakaway, could you have picked five better riders to take an escape to the finish?
VSP PICKS:
1. Alberto Contador
2. Andy Schleck
3. Cuddles
4. Peter Velits
5. Frank Schleck
Movin on up. Karpets has my number five pick sewn up. You bump into Karpets, you go down!
@frank
Well said. His comment after the fact was classy, too: It wasn’t intentional; and thoughts of Wouter Weylandt. I love his wild attacks, but the kid’s got some nice class””as well as plenty of V. Got to stop and pick up his dotty jumper before heading off to get stitches…
Here’s video of the crash. I hope they have some sort of civil suit they can take against him, that car was actually recklessly dangerous. UN.BE.LEIV.ABLE.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadel
2. Contador
3. Andy
4. Basso
5. Klöden
@frank
What the fuck was that?!? Lost earnings from the race for those riders right there, whatever station owns that car needs to cough up.
Class. Hoogerland is on the A-List as far as I’m concerned.
If it keeps going this way you’ll just have to wait for everyone to crash in order to win the Tour. Not fun.
Klöden went down today, but I didn’t hear anything about that yet. Lost no time though.
Just on the NOS: Cyclists are here for sport, not for a war.
@Netraam
Went off for x-rays post-stage. He must have been pretty uncomfortable.
@frank
The new Jens?
@Steampunk
Yes, that.
@Minion
We’ll see what cockery boils up the rest of the season, but so far, that’s the year’s Anit-V moment right here. What a fucking cock up. It’s up there with the baseball player who tossed a baseball into the stands and caused a guy to fall to his death.
I did not realize the car had been ordered to pull over previously. What a disgrace.
Tied for first place, and starting to daydream. If I have the yellow and pink jerseys, which one will be posted beside my posts?
Frank… not sure how to do swaps… had done an earlier post about swapping Twiggo for Cadel… but no change. Have I missed my swap for Horner? was drunk at the time watching, and then out of broadband range! If I am allowed to swap him out, would put in Basso
@roadslave
When you’re eligible for picks, you can just edit your riders just like you did when you entered your picks. It will also have a message there saying you’re eligible to change your picks.
I’m happy to hear you were drunk, that’s the best way to enjoy this site by far. Strong work.
I’m becoming a curse… with J VdB now out as well, that is three of my original five down… my swap for J VdB is Kloden
@roadslave
Just looked at your picks and it seems they did go through. Not sure what happened there.
Disgrace is an understatement, yet put nicely
I say pull the driver out and kindly remind him why cars are coffins…say like dissect his testicles w/that barb-wire he just ran Hoogerland through
I can’t believe someone didn’t get hurt worse and am thankful they didn’t
Flecha looked like afterward he was trying to figure out where that bus came from
@Pedale.Forchetta
I quite agree, PF! I was more commenting to add further info to your post, in case some folks thought that Poli won atop the Ventoux.
@frank
That’s a terrible call! It was in no way the players fault, and to suggest he “caused” the poor guy to fall to his death is appallingly unfair.
today was all about the baroudeur breakaway. although, LL could’ve contributed a bit more in the pulls.
VSP PICKS:
1. Contador
2. Evans
3. Klödi
4. Schleck the Younger
5. Schleck the Elder
We don’t write it Rule V for nothing… Tommy V, my hero.
The good: Little Tommy V rocks the maillot jaune again. Outstanding. And Johhny H shows grinta and class in huge abundance. Even more outstanding.
The bad: Vino, VDB, DZ added to the DNF list.
The ugly: Obvious, and “ugly” does not even begin to describe it. I am with Marko -the racing so far as been breathtakling, exhausting and exhilarating, but the crashes (particularly those caused by morons with machines) are starting to get me down. Here’s hoping for more of the former, and no more of the lattter.
Swapping out VDB for LL Cool.
VSP PICKS:
1. Albeefo Contordure
2. Shlecklet
3. Cuddles
4. LL Cool S
5. Guessingk
DNF switchout: Frank Schleck for JVdB
VSP PICKS:
1. cadel
2. A schleck
3. F schleck
4. Kloden
5. Tommy V
This is turning into the Tour de Attrition…
VSP PICKS:
1. Schleck the Younger
2. Spanish Beef
3. Good Cadel
4. Schleck the Elder
5. Ivan Basso
I sincerely hope Prudhomme has a come to jesus meeting with the tour vehicle drivers and motorbike riders. These crashes have been inexcusable and avoidable. Throwing their asses out isn’t enough, charges or civil suits need to be filed. One more incident and I foresee a rider protest a la Valence D’Agen in 1978 when Hinault (who else?) led the ridders to walk across the finishing line. (that was in protest against split stages and long transfers). Any more of this utterly avoidable shit and it’s walking time. Who’ll take the role of patron? Hushovd? Cancellara? Millar? Hincapie? As the grand old man of the tour he should, but I doubt he has the balls.
@RedRanger
Fuckin A
Rule #5 doesn’t even begin to cover this. Rule #7 however, is clearly in play. Tough dude.
I don’t care where you’re driving or what’s beside you… it seems like it would be basic human decency that, given the choice between hitting a tree or another human, you would t-bone the tree. Driver needs to have his key’s taken for good, period. That was either massively, massively negligent or massively, massively malicious… either way, pure trash.
Christ that stage was absolute carnage!! Lots of riders displaying plenty of V!! When was the last time so many GC candidates were eliminated in the first week?
I’ve made mt rider swaps – Grimpeur elder for vandenbrouke.
VSP PICKS:
1. Cadelephant
2. Schleklette
3. Basso
4. Clenbutador
5. Grimpeur the elder