Velominati Super Prestige: 2011 Le Tour de France
While a good number of Velominati get all uppity around May and make rash statements like their preferred Grand Tour is the Giro d’Italia, because it has more and bigger climbs, beautiful white roads and crazy tifosi, there’s no denying that Le Tour de France is the real grandaddy of them all.
Admit it, July trumps May every time.
Maybe it’s because of the greater media attention, or the fact that there’s bound to be a controversy, but I for one look forward to this time of year with a fervour that has myself and others residing in the lower half of the world consuming inhuman amounts of caffeine and staving off sleep deprivation for 21 days on end, without question or cause for concern. It’s all about the bike (race) and nothing else really gets a look in. Job? Ah, we can do that blurry-eyed and with concentration levels that are probably below safe standards if operating heavy machinery. Or even computers. In fact, operating a computer becomes the central task of the day, as we check results, reports, the topography and distance of the next stage, and of course our VSP standings.
Which brings us to the Blue Riband event on the 2011 Velominati Super Prestige; Le Tour de France. Who will be resplendent in the Maillot Jaune after three weeks of high-pressure tipping, rest-day swaps and bonus stage picks? Have we seen the last of Steampunk’s yellow reign of terror? It’s time to peak, to climb well for your weight, and move Sur La Plaque to the top of the VSP. Study the guidelines (with a grain of salt, as whatever we say here overrides the guide, so ask if you’re not sure), respect the Piti Principle, and enjoy the next three weeks of the greatest show on earth. As usual, get your picks in by 5am Pacific time on Saturday morning. If you wait until the last moment and bugger it up, don’t come crying, just wait until the first rest day with all the others who pulled a Delgado.
Brett’s Take:
As a Keeper, my own tips don’t count to any jerseys or prizes, so this Tour I think I’ll tip with my heart rather than my head; it’s let me down enough this season anyway, so any ‘logic’ or ‘knowledge’ is to be discarded and replaced with ’emotion’ and ‘taking a stab in the dark’. In fact, I might even target the KOM this time around, try and get in some long breakaways and pick up points over the smaller cols while none of the big contenders are paying any real attention. Yeah, channel the spirit of JaJa, Reeshard and the Chicken. Better get me some juice.
Taking the heart over head approach, I have to say that this is going to be the year of an upset. It’s there for Cadelephant to take. The cards are all falling for him; Cont Of The Highest Odor will fade in the last week, spent from his Giro and without a reliable supply of prime beef to call upon; Grimplette, while he may have been foxing in Switzerland, just doesn’t have the firepower to match it with Cuddles or COTHO against the clock, and hasn’t got the mental capacity to attack in the mountains. Wiggins, Gesink, Grimpelder… they’ll be fighting for scraps.
It’s a three horse race, this one, but at last count there’s only three steps on a podium.
Marko’s Take:
Recently on these pages we’ve at once lamented the loss of the all-rounder GC contender and derided the formulaic predictability that “well-rounded” riders in the modern peloton employ to win races. All the names at the top of the Giants of the Road list, however, excelled at one thing, winning the biggest sporting event in the world. But it isn’t climbing prowess, time trialling efficiency, tactical sense, and winning ability alone that endear riders to us. If it was it would be way easier and really boring to be a cycling fan. So what is the difference between a guy like say, LeMan and a guy like Armstrong? Panache. What we’ve lost isn’t a type of rider but a style of rider. Rather what we’ve lost is panache. If, in the modern day, being a douchenozzle or belladonna means panache, so be it. But if doping scandals and bro-mances make you yawn, keep in mind there is a lot of bike racing going on in le Grand Boucle.
So I ask, where’s the panache as far as GC contenders go? Cuddles (may have blown his panache wad last year), Le Petit Grimpeur (no panache), Sammy Sanchez (panacheicito), Basso (panached-out), Horner (Mcpanache), JVDB (panache-a-be), CVDV (pa-crash), Veino (panachenozzle), and Ryder (trying to get all the Canadian panache that Don Cherry has been hogging for the last 30 years). For me, other than Cuddles, Veino, and Ryder it’s hard to get really excited about any of the GC contenders. But alas, I will not vote solely with my heart like my Aussie bro in New Zealand. I will do my best to garner points for no other reason than pride as I don’t get shit for winning either.
So then, now that I’ve gotten all pessimistic about the GC, what am I looking forward to? Panache, fucktards. I wanna see Faboo tow Frandy through the TTT for Leotard Schleck (thanks Dr C) and then make some perfect amount of dumb remark afterward. I wanna see Cavenisgrowingonmedish win some sprints. I wanna see Farrar beat the Manx Mouth in some sprints or cry trying. I wanna believe in the Rainbow Jersey again. I wanna see if Tomeke still has what it takes. I wanna see Jens hurt EVERYBODY. I wanna see some Russian or Spanish dude I’ve never heard of have the ride of his life and shed some tears on the podium, and I wanna see Gilbert on a long solo break on his birthday get himself a stage win and maybe even the yellow jersey for a bit.
The reason this race is so cool is there are so many races within the race. Sure, you betcha, get drawn into to GC drama but don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees. There’s a shit-ton gonna happen in the next three weeks and it’s gonna be good.
Gianni’s Take:
Burned from the all too predicable days of Pharmy, I just don’t care that much about the yellow jersey, Contador or a Schleck – ahhhh, who cares, skinny little bastards. I’m all in for the drama hidden within each day’s race. A stage win in the Tour can make a rider’s career and every stage has unscripted drama: Stuey O’Grady finishing the stage within the time limit, riding in from 100km out with a broken collar bone. Or Magnus Backstead riding in by himself, dropped in the small mountains, finishing beyond the time limit, his number peeled off his jersey and he is ruined. These things happen every day in the Tour.
I like a good spoiler, like Eros Poli on Mount Ventoux, or the spoiler small break that stays away when the last 40km is a high speed tailwind run, ruining a day for the sprinters. I like Rik Verbruggen, flat back, so aero on his bike, hauling ass, a crazy solo bid for glory. I want to see more of that. I would be thrilled to see one of the Garmin roulers win a stage, and I’ll be thrilled if HTC doesn’t win the TTT.
I can schleckulate about a few things: unless Contador and Cavendish get their front wheels tangled up together resulting in a horrendous career threatening crash, both Andy Schleck and Tyler Farrar are doomed. I’m sorry, Andy can’t go fast unless it’s a steep hill (up) and no one is as good a sprinter as Cav, by a lot. Then again, if my schleckulations were worth anything, I wouldn’t be down in the boggy hole that is the low end of the VSP results.
Frank’s Take:
Every year, it happens. Every single year. It has a bitter taste, Disappointment. It sits on the front of your tongue like a small black weight that is surprisingly heavy for its size. Even though you’re not swallowing it, the taste spreads throughout, slowly – into your jaws first, then the rest of your being.
With one exception, I have never had my chips down for a rider who ended up winning – not since 1990, when I was all-in for Greg LeMond. 1991-1995 was Indurain: I favored first Bugno, then Rominger. 1996: Virenque. 1997: Virenque. 1998: Pantani; it was a long shot, but the awesome little dude pulled it off for once in my life. 1999: Zulle. 2000-2004: Ullrich. 2005-2006: Basso. 2007: The Chicken. 2008: Frank Schleck. 2009-2010: The Grimplette. But I continue to favor the dark horse because I know that when I am redeemed, it will be glorious beyond articulation.
This will be that year. Not because I will change my tactic, but because this is the one for les Fréres Grimpeur. It’s a hilly enough race with enough uphill finishes – we all know the skinny boys have a challenge when the road points down. (You’d really think that with all that practicing they do going uphill that they’d occasionally get a chance to practice going down one as well, but those boys descend like first-year amateurs.) Bertie blew the guns at a very difficult Giro and all the Spanish Beef in the world can’t help you recoup from that kind of effort in time for a similarly difficult Tour. Cuddles is a pipe dream borne from the understandably optimistic thoughts from our antipodal brothers and sisters in Oz and Newz. Wiggo, Vande Velde, Gesink, and Van den Broek will all learn how hard it is to pull out a good Tour ride for a second (or first) time when the pressure is truly on.
I’ve also vowed not to get caught up in my propensity to dwell on the fact that Contador should not be in the race. The fact that a rider who failed a dope test in last year’s Tour has been allowed to start is a reflection of the ineffectiveness of Cycling’s governing bodies, not on Bertie. True, I hate him and would be happy to see him not start, but if I were in his shoes, I admit that would start if I was allowed to. And, lets face it: Andy’s win will mean more when it comes with the defeat of Alberto than with a nonstart.
@Cyclops
I started watching
then I started laughing
I AM STILL LAUGHING
Wow, I have never seen Farrar that pissed after a finish; he’s always happy and upbeat. I almost felt like he implied that Cav doped to recover like that after being dropped for 70k yesterday.
Wow, and now some really tough words from Cav. What a dick.
And now he remarked that it’s uncommon for the GC racers like Basso and the Schlecks being up there with the sprinters in the last Km.
Lost of veiled implications being thrown around. Facinating.
@Minion
Totally agree. I’m sure they didn’t address it on purpose, but it’s such a gaping hole that it weakens the article and makes them look unintentionally naive. That said, I am certain they are not naive and the article in general, I love that shit. 6 watts/kg for 45 minutes, FTW.
@Rob
A+1
@frank
I think you’re reading too much into the GC comment Frank. He seemed to simply be saying that it was a hard day with the wind and so the GC guys had to stay close and near the front in case of any gaps.
As for the other stuff, the sprinters are always winding each other up. He’s had Rojas accusing him of being towed up the mountains, so why not get a niggle back. And he’s right, none of the other sprinters’ teams have done any work, which suggests that they all pretty much realise Cav is going to beat them in a straight sprint. Which does raise the question, why are they there ?
Didn’t see the Farrar interview but if he’s throwing accusations like that around because he got beaten – again – by Cavendish then maybe you should make a reassessment about who is a dick.
@earnest
Man, I – me, their biggest fan – was hoping one of them would just get dropped so the other would stop fucking worrying about them. Andy had some good turns of speed, but he’d just sit down again right after, seemingly so his brother could come back up. A 1-2 blow is not to punch, sit around and wait for the opponent to recover, and then punch again. When one gets caught, the other goes. One after the other.
I love those guys, but they’ve got to race for the win, not each other.
Honestly, though, it’s what @Marko said – we have no clue who’s going to win and we’re a week away. Awesome. I think Fränk is weakening, Andy will win, and everyone is scared shitless of the last week.
We’ll probably do a bunch of VSP’s next week, so stay tuned. How can we not do one for the Galibier and l’Alpe? And I’m thinking one for the final day might be fun, too. That way everyone can get five points for picking Cav.
@ChrisO
The remarkable thing was the contrast to his usual just-been-beaten by Cav disposition. Maybe try listening to the interview before drawing your conclusion?
@Minion
Yeah, I wanted to strangle the commentators when they were talking about Contador being such a great GT rider when he’s sitting on a fucking positive test. Incredible.
But do you really think he’s clean now? It’s hard for me to believe that after these guys get so indoctrinated and calloused to doping after doing it in training, in racing, in the off-season, year in, year out, that they’d stop just because there’s bad press.
Maybe I’m just too cynical, but a guy like Contador thinks he’s above the rules and believes that the authorities will understand he’s too important too suspend. He’ll keep doping because it’s what he’s also done. It would be the same as me deciding it’s time to go to work without wearing any clothes.
I think he’s just cooked. Simple as that.
LIke @Souleur, I like the idea that maybe Cuddles was clean(er) all along. He was up there during years that I think were cleaner than others. It got fueled again after that for a few years and he fell way down the standings.
It’s all speculation, speculation, speculation.
What’s up with all these pictures of Voeckler reading the paper?
I believe, no speculate, that Cuddles has been clean all along. He’s so wholesome, nerdy, in fact. Not that there’s anything wrong with wholesomeness but from what I can tell a guy like that just wouldn’t dope.
The Alps will out all and yes it seems that the field is level this year which means the race is more of a lottery… and much more fun for us!
One thought about what these guys say in interviews – I don’t know about you all but the longest stage race I ever did was 9 days and by the fifth day I felt like I was on acid, (strangely on the bike stone cold sober) so much so that I would not have liked to be responsible for what I said (and no one was interviewing me). I am amazed they can even make sense let alone talk. Sprinters are on their own planet and part of their shtick is the mind game so it could just be emotions and/or hype?
@frank
Just watched the interview, he was almost shaking with rage but it coulda been the adrenaline. I agree that Cav getting some “help” was the subtext of the interview be it doping or holding onto cars after getting dropped by the grupetto.
Tyler had the speed today, if Dean had been able to close that gap, I think Tyler would have taken it.
@Cyclops
I can’t stop laughing. Whew. Good stuff. Thanks for that.
heehee, I just read a good quote from Stephen Roche in PEZ.
“If I was asked to organise the 2012 Tour de France I’d have the same stages but only time the last two kilometres; and I fit wing mirrors to the Schleck’s bikes – and have masseurs on hand at the finish line to give them neck massages for all that strain caused by looking behind.”
@marko
Wholesome and nerdy = no doping….right….
@Gianni
So true. I really want Andy to win this one but come on, sure they can ride a bike real well but they need to learn to race. Rule #5 is weak with those two.
If I were Tyler, I’d be frustrated, too, that at the end of a day on a sprint finish, the only thing left to do is watch HTC Highwater bring Cavendish home for the stage win. As I recently mentioned, that crap is boring and a huge letdown. If it’s getting old for me, imagine how old it is for someone there putting in the effort to be at the line at the end of the day. I can’t imagine. Sure, you can blame it on the other team (are we really going to say that, for example, Garmin-Cervelo is not a team that supports it’s sprinters?) for not doing any work to position their sprinter for the win. But I’m not buying that explanation.
For me, watching a sprint finish of late is like watching the Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls of the ’90s: a total yawn-fest. Everybody already knows the outcome. Maybe that’s what Tyler is moaning about – frustrated that the stage (and intermediate sprint) are already won once the relatively flat race profile is posted. Who could blame him?
@RedRanger
well said.
@drsoul
I can’t blame him, Tyler is sprinting against the Cipo of his day but Cav lacks the mullet, character and class of Cipo. Unfortunately Cav is going to win most sprints for now, it has to be very frustrating for another sprinter. And yes, I agree, these sprints are boring.
I’ll offer up the dissenting viewpoint. I don’t know what Corn-fed’s upset about. Frustrated, no doubt, but Cav’s simply faster than he is and the HTC train is so vastly superior than anything else going. And I don’t find the sprints boring: a quality train is a thing of beauty.
So the results are predictable? Are you really going to blame Cav for this, too? That’s what these guys are paid to do, and one team is delivering. They’re well-trained, coordinated,and very very good at it. If Farrar is frustrated, then he should be disappointed that his team harbored GC aspirations and he has less support than Cav (Vaughters was probably realistic to know that even if he brought an eight man train, Cav would still win). Or he should do something about it. It hasn’t worked the past two or three tries, but I love watching Gilbert go off on a flyer from 2km out. If anything, that seems to shake up the train (which hasn’t looked as slick as last year). Send Millar off or Thor in order to rattle HTC in the final run-in. And show up on the front, for God’s sake! For a team with an elite sprinter, GarmVelo have been notably absent in running down breakaways or fighting for position in the final stretch. Give HTC their due: Bak and Pate have ridden some monster kilometers on the front during this Tour.
@frank
I think Cav’s comments about the GC riders was acknowledging that the finish was particularly crazy because of the crosswinds and that everyone””even the GC riders””were insistent in being up at the very front of the pack so as not to get caught behind. Even Cav is growing on me. His exuberance has lost some of the arrogance from years past (some, not all), he loves his team and they love him (this is not new), he studies the game very carefully and prepares meticulously, he knows the history of his sport, he’s also, like, hella fast. A number of classy comments about other riders, too””notably Thor’s excellent work through the Tour. I wouldn’t call myself a fan, but give it another year.
Cavendish is beatable, though the older generation of sprinters didn’t seem to have any answers – which was why I was waiting for Greipel to stand up. Cav and his train have won the mind games, which Greipel seems immune to (ref. video above) Cav does fade on longer sprints, which is not unusual given his horrific finishing speed, but if you can get him out of his train you stand a chance of wearing him down.
I agree w/Steampunk, Cav’s teams delivering
Farrar is actually very fast this year, so is Petacchi, but Cav’s team are really flogging it when they need to.
But I also recognize that HTC is simply that, a sprint team, they have no real hope of a GC’r. They have organized the team to be a lead out, so steampunks right on. If Farrar wants a lead out, go to team that has that goal, JV/Garmin are looking for a podium spot, they are developing a GC team, not a sprint team. Petacchi, well, I am not really sure what they are doing.
Its the same thing w/cuddles, he was on a terrible team for a GC hope, Omega-lotto was and is a spring classic/one day belgian affair and this year they are really making a strong showing otherwise but not really sending a GC hope out there, even though Gilbert may be something to deal with in the next year or 2.
So, not too much to get sideways about Cav on here or too much Piti for Farrar, its a team design, and its delivering in both cases
@Steampunk
To me, predictable is a little boring but that’s my problem. I think Cav would win without the badass leadout, he is that much faster. Watching Mario with his old Saeco red train win stage after stage of the Giro was predictable too, but a little less boring because he was Mario.
I start to like Cav then I listen to him. Then I don’t like him.
Keep up the mowing, Kimosabe.
Sprint train, made it look easy…
@Gianni
As usual you nail it – Mario, predictable/not boring. Cav, well what can you say, he’s faster than a Dutch monkey going for a greased banana but has about as much class.
Still, for all that I like the kid, he’s got an energy and honesty that makes me like him.
Oh wow, Frank…what went on in the post-race interviews?
I gotta see this…Cav + Farrar at each other? I need to focus in on this race. I hate it when work gets in the way of racin’!
I rode my first Colnago this weekend. It was sweetness.
However, all yellow Colnago’s don’t look so good…
On the Cav/Farrar comments debate… I agree with Steampunk. Cav does not, to me, seem to be making an accusations or insinuations. He’s giving a view that the end of the stage was tough for a number of reasons. Where he says it wasn’t “normal” read the whole end to the stage was unusual, not simply the presence of the GC contenders. Interestingly, Farrar also says that the finish was tough to the point of being dangerous.
Farrar definitely insinuates something. If he expected Cav to be exhausted from the previous mountain stage then that’s one thing but a bit strange as Cav finished only 9 seconds behind Farrar and other riders finished later. Anything else is serious and should have been reported through official channels if there was any substance to it. And if there’s no substance then surely it’s a bit douchey to start flinging mud in an interview? Indeed, isn’t this why people dislike the Manx Mouth aspect of Cav (which, incidentally, was completely absent in his interview)?
As for the sprints being predictable/boring, then the other teams need to get organised and refer to Rule #5.
@Steampunk
Precisely.
@Ron
Here’s a link to the Cav interview although it may only work in the UK:
http://www.itv.com/tourdefrance/2011/stages/stage-15/
And the Farrar interview is on VeloNews:
http://velonews.competitor.com/2011/07/news/video-a-frustrated-tyler-farrar-wonders-aloud-about-mark-cavendishs-miraculous-return-after-being-dropped-by-the-gruppetto_184643
By the way, Evans has had his rumours to deal with too. From strong whispers during his MTB days, to his times on the doping-rife Mapei to his BMC team that has it’s clouds (Ochowicz, Ballan, Santambrogio, et al), questions could be asked about his associations and, by inference, what he’s been up to at times. I’m certainly not saying he has doped, but it’s naive to think he’s somehow less tainted than his rivals.
@marko
@drsoul
I believe the “Niceness Quotient” is referred to as The Tyler Defence. Only when it fails do you go for the Vanishing Twin as back-up.
@Oli
I think we can safely say that anyone on a pro team over the last 15 years would test positive to “guilt by association”. And you forgot to mention BMC’s Gorgeous George and Cadel’s time at Telekom with Der Kaiser and friends, etc.
Or do we draw the opposite inference? He cracked like a coconut when riding for Mapei at the Giro (surely wouldn’t have happened if we was juiced??). He was ostracized at Telekom (I just thought it was because he kept busting his collarbone and wasn’t liked) – maybe because he didn’t get on the program?
All meaningless happenstance and speculation – unlike most of my countrymen I believe Australians are just as likely to have doped as anyone else (except of course the Supercharged Spaniards). Guessing as to who is on and who isn’t is an exercise in futility.
But it sure beats wading through my inbox on a Monday morning.
I didn’t forget anything, but I couldn’t be arsed writing everything.
And the guilt by association and exercise in futility things are exactly my point.
Just realised I still had Kloedi up in thurr.
VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps):
1. Contador
2. Evans
3. Andy Shleck
4. Ivan Basso
5. Fränk Schleck
So now I’m beginning to wonder how the large selection of 5-7 G.C. riders might impact the VSP. It’s looking like the tip trend is for roughly the same five guys, albeit in various orders, after rest day swaps. It may be harder to pick the podium (win,place,show) in a 5 horse race compared to picking the top two (maybe three) in a two horse race but it may be easier to pick the top five generally in a large selection and harder to pick the podium. We may see a tightly grouped VSP as well.
@Ron
What? WHAT!?!
Doors over there.
VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps):
1. Johnny Hoogerland
2. Veino
3. Thor's mighty hammer
4. JENS MOTHER FUNKIN VOIGHT!
5. Whoever runs COTHO into ditch
Dammit need tongue in cheek emoticons. (but the bad voice in my head says, it’s a Colnago how dare he? In the voice of a highly effete 19th century dandy)
VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps):
1. Johnny Hoogerland
2. Veino
3. Thor's mighty hammer
4. JENS MOTHER FUNKIN VOIGHT!
5. Whoever runs COTHO into ditch
@Marko
The crazy part in all this is that I am still working with my original picks and almost in the exact order from Andy(4th place) to Cunego(8th place)
I really need Evans and Frank to have some really bad days.
Okay, now I’ve got my Ron on – wtf happened to my hard fought three points now? I’m allowed to swap out Kloden for Basso without penalty under the Piti Principle aren’t I?
@Marko
Yeah. I think we might need to revisit the VSP scoring for next year. Being able to swap riders in and out is becoming farcical this year, since so many of the GC contenders have dropped out. Maybe all replacements should have come with a penalty””that’s bike racing. Especially this ten-minute thing: part of the exercise is to pick guys on form…
This from Blazin’ Saddles today as part of his predictions for the rest day:
I typically find him difficult to take, but that actually prompted a snort out loud.
I’ve just sped the last 20 (work) minutes catching up on posts, and I don’t think I’ve stopped laughing. Thanks for an entertaining Monday, chaps/chappettes.
Kudos to @minion and his picks! Although I think there are currently 4 riders gunning for your 5th place??
I’m still expecting a Cuntodor attack of Floydesque proportions in the Alps. But it will be late so the others have no chance of coming back. Probably over Galibier and up d’Huez. Then he can mark time in the tt. That’s what I’d do anyway…
I don’t think Farrar’s comments are about drugs. He’s decided to jump on Rojas’ little bandwagon about Cav on the mountains. Pathetic really but I guess if they can’t beat him on the road they need to find some other way to get at him.
If Cavendish was being towed up the mountains by cars or getting illegal assistance (any more than the others do, with sticky bottles etc) then between the race cameras, UCI and ASO officials, and the thousands of spectators at the side of the road with cameras I suspect someone would notice. It’s not like they have a history of bending the rules for Cavendish is it ?
@Oli
Oh yup.
Possibly missed the time cut on replacing him, meaning your sub counted as a penalty-swap? I got burned by that one too.
@RedRanger
Don’t worry, your wish is just a few days away. Evans can still win this thing, but I’m hard pressed to think any Schleck can do any better than 3rd now.
Righto, missed the first rest day so here are my 2nd rest day swaps.
VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps):
1. Grimplette
2. Clenbutador
3. Cuddles
4. Grimpelder
5. Basso
@Bianchi Denti
Cheers, but I actually abandoned after Hoogerland tried to impersonate spaghetti, since my VSP picks were based around who I thought would provide the most amusing photos from the tour, and given that crash it became kind of Crass.
Actually, speaking of the hardest Zeelander since the stone age, is he still racing?
@xyxax
Follow up today which addresses the point about the drugs. Their response being that yes it may be a factor but it’s just one factor, which is why they didn’t attempt to make a single conclusion – something quite a few of the journalists and pundits would do well to note.
Fascinating graph in the middle, noting the changes in values after the introduction of EPO tests and the biological passport.
http://www.sportsscientists.com/2011/07/tour-de-france-biological-passport.html#disqus_thread
Do I go into negative figures now ?
VSP PICKS (2nd Rest Day Swaps):
1. Contador
2. A Schelck
3. Evans
4. F Schleck
5. S Sanchez