Velominati Super Prestige: 2011 Le Tour de France
While a good number of Velominati get all uppity around May and make rash statements like their preferred Grand Tour is the Giro d’Italia, because it has more and bigger climbs, beautiful white roads and crazy tifosi, there’s no denying that Le Tour de France is the real grandaddy of them all.
Admit it, July trumps May every time.
Maybe it’s because of the greater media attention, or the fact that there’s bound to be a controversy, but I for one look forward to this time of year with a fervour that has myself and others residing in the lower half of the world consuming inhuman amounts of caffeine and staving off sleep deprivation for 21 days on end, without question or cause for concern. It’s all about the bike (race) and nothing else really gets a look in. Job? Ah, we can do that blurry-eyed and with concentration levels that are probably below safe standards if operating heavy machinery. Or even computers. In fact, operating a computer becomes the central task of the day, as we check results, reports, the topography and distance of the next stage, and of course our VSP standings.
Which brings us to the Blue Riband event on the 2011 Velominati Super Prestige; Le Tour de France. Who will be resplendent in the Maillot Jaune after three weeks of high-pressure tipping, rest-day swaps and bonus stage picks? Have we seen the last of Steampunk’s yellow reign of terror? It’s time to peak, to climb well for your weight, and move Sur La Plaque to the top of the VSP. Study the guidelines (with a grain of salt, as whatever we say here overrides the guide, so ask if you’re not sure), respect the Piti Principle, and enjoy the next three weeks of the greatest show on earth. As usual, get your picks in by 5am Pacific time on Saturday morning. If you wait until the last moment and bugger it up, don’t come crying, just wait until the first rest day with all the others who pulled a Delgado.
Brett’s Take:
As a Keeper, my own tips don’t count to any jerseys or prizes, so this Tour I think I’ll tip with my heart rather than my head; it’s let me down enough this season anyway, so any ‘logic’ or ‘knowledge’ is to be discarded and replaced with ’emotion’ and ‘taking a stab in the dark’. In fact, I might even target the KOM this time around, try and get in some long breakaways and pick up points over the smaller cols while none of the big contenders are paying any real attention. Yeah, channel the spirit of JaJa, Reeshard and the Chicken. Better get me some juice.
Taking the heart over head approach, I have to say that this is going to be the year of an upset. It’s there for Cadelephant to take. The cards are all falling for him; Cont Of The Highest Odor will fade in the last week, spent from his Giro and without a reliable supply of prime beef to call upon; Grimplette, while he may have been foxing in Switzerland, just doesn’t have the firepower to match it with Cuddles or COTHO against the clock, and hasn’t got the mental capacity to attack in the mountains. Wiggins, Gesink, Grimpelder… they’ll be fighting for scraps.
It’s a three horse race, this one, but at last count there’s only three steps on a podium.
Marko’s Take:
Recently on these pages we’ve at once lamented the loss of the all-rounder GC contender and derided the formulaic predictability that “well-rounded” riders in the modern peloton employ to win races. All the names at the top of the Giants of the Road list, however, excelled at one thing, winning the biggest sporting event in the world. But it isn’t climbing prowess, time trialling efficiency, tactical sense, and winning ability alone that endear riders to us. If it was it would be way easier and really boring to be a cycling fan. So what is the difference between a guy like say, LeMan and a guy like Armstrong? Panache. What we’ve lost isn’t a type of rider but a style of rider. Rather what we’ve lost is panache. If, in the modern day, being a douchenozzle or belladonna means panache, so be it. But if doping scandals and bro-mances make you yawn, keep in mind there is a lot of bike racing going on in le Grand Boucle.
So I ask, where’s the panache as far as GC contenders go? Cuddles (may have blown his panache wad last year), Le Petit Grimpeur (no panache), Sammy Sanchez (panacheicito), Basso (panached-out), Horner (Mcpanache), JVDB (panache-a-be), CVDV (pa-crash), Veino (panachenozzle), and Ryder (trying to get all the Canadian panache that Don Cherry has been hogging for the last 30 years). For me, other than Cuddles, Veino, and Ryder it’s hard to get really excited about any of the GC contenders. But alas, I will not vote solely with my heart like my Aussie bro in New Zealand. I will do my best to garner points for no other reason than pride as I don’t get shit for winning either.
So then, now that I’ve gotten all pessimistic about the GC, what am I looking forward to? Panache, fucktards. I wanna see Faboo tow Frandy through the TTT for Leotard Schleck (thanks Dr C) and then make some perfect amount of dumb remark afterward. I wanna see Cavenisgrowingonmedish win some sprints. I wanna see Farrar beat the Manx Mouth in some sprints or cry trying. I wanna believe in the Rainbow Jersey again. I wanna see if Tomeke still has what it takes. I wanna see Jens hurt EVERYBODY. I wanna see some Russian or Spanish dude I’ve never heard of have the ride of his life and shed some tears on the podium, and I wanna see Gilbert on a long solo break on his birthday get himself a stage win and maybe even the yellow jersey for a bit.
The reason this race is so cool is there are so many races within the race. Sure, you betcha, get drawn into to GC drama but don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees. There’s a shit-ton gonna happen in the next three weeks and it’s gonna be good.
Gianni’s Take:
Burned from the all too predicable days of Pharmy, I just don’t care that much about the yellow jersey, Contador or a Schleck – ahhhh, who cares, skinny little bastards. I’m all in for the drama hidden within each day’s race. A stage win in the Tour can make a rider’s career and every stage has unscripted drama: Stuey O’Grady finishing the stage within the time limit, riding in from 100km out with a broken collar bone. Or Magnus Backstead riding in by himself, dropped in the small mountains, finishing beyond the time limit, his number peeled off his jersey and he is ruined. These things happen every day in the Tour.
I like a good spoiler, like Eros Poli on Mount Ventoux, or the spoiler small break that stays away when the last 40km is a high speed tailwind run, ruining a day for the sprinters. I like Rik Verbruggen, flat back, so aero on his bike, hauling ass, a crazy solo bid for glory. I want to see more of that. I would be thrilled to see one of the Garmin roulers win a stage, and I’ll be thrilled if HTC doesn’t win the TTT.
I can schleckulate about a few things: unless Contador and Cavendish get their front wheels tangled up together resulting in a horrendous career threatening crash, both Andy Schleck and Tyler Farrar are doomed. I’m sorry, Andy can’t go fast unless it’s a steep hill (up) and no one is as good a sprinter as Cav, by a lot. Then again, if my schleckulations were worth anything, I wouldn’t be down in the boggy hole that is the low end of the VSP results.
Frank’s Take:
Every year, it happens. Every single year. It has a bitter taste, Disappointment. It sits on the front of your tongue like a small black weight that is surprisingly heavy for its size. Even though you’re not swallowing it, the taste spreads throughout, slowly – into your jaws first, then the rest of your being.
With one exception, I have never had my chips down for a rider who ended up winning – not since 1990, when I was all-in for Greg LeMond. 1991-1995 was Indurain: I favored first Bugno, then Rominger. 1996: Virenque. 1997: Virenque. 1998: Pantani; it was a long shot, but the awesome little dude pulled it off for once in my life. 1999: Zulle. 2000-2004: Ullrich. 2005-2006: Basso. 2007: The Chicken. 2008: Frank Schleck. 2009-2010: The Grimplette. But I continue to favor the dark horse because I know that when I am redeemed, it will be glorious beyond articulation.
This will be that year. Not because I will change my tactic, but because this is the one for les Fréres Grimpeur. It’s a hilly enough race with enough uphill finishes – we all know the skinny boys have a challenge when the road points down. (You’d really think that with all that practicing they do going uphill that they’d occasionally get a chance to practice going down one as well, but those boys descend like first-year amateurs.) Bertie blew the guns at a very difficult Giro and all the Spanish Beef in the world can’t help you recoup from that kind of effort in time for a similarly difficult Tour. Cuddles is a pipe dream borne from the understandably optimistic thoughts from our antipodal brothers and sisters in Oz and Newz. Wiggo, Vande Velde, Gesink, and Van den Broek will all learn how hard it is to pull out a good Tour ride for a second (or first) time when the pressure is truly on.
I’ve also vowed not to get caught up in my propensity to dwell on the fact that Contador should not be in the race. The fact that a rider who failed a dope test in last year’s Tour has been allowed to start is a reflection of the ineffectiveness of Cycling’s governing bodies, not on Bertie. True, I hate him and would be happy to see him not start, but if I were in his shoes, I admit that would start if I was allowed to. And, lets face it: Andy’s win will mean more when it comes with the defeat of Alberto than with a nonstart.
@Joe
Indeed, Good Cadel has some pretty ripped chindominals.
Good Cadel’s chin training regimen may be found here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHrhmpKSLVg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
@Marcus
+1.
good one.
@eightzero
Ha ha, I doubt it. Most Brits don’t really give it much thought and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a large number of American kids who think the 4th of July celebrates Will Smith’s famous victory over the octopuses from space. (There’s probably a similar percentage of British kids who think that Waterloo is a railway station in London, a percentage that will only grow now the government has decided that celebrating it’s 200th anniversary might upset the cheese eating surrender monkeys!)
It’s more likely that whoever wrote the headline thought it would be nice to link Farrar’s win with a day that is obviously important to him and his country. The key to reading is not to always go with the literal meaning of the words.
@Chris
Sadly often lost in translation in the USA – “God Bless America” etc
…..no VSP results after Stage 3 – is this because you are all at a BBQ over there?
Happy not to see it, as I have null pwants (French word)
Just Saying
That crazy Jonny Hoogerland is at it again. Genius.
Just waking up. Had way to much to eat last night and washed it down with to much beer. What the hell is going on at Le Tour?
Good to see some Belgian weather to set Gilbear up nicely for the win…
Well, if you’re watching on Danish TV you’ve just missed Jørgen Leth and Rolf Sørensen reveal their ignorance regarding Graeme Obree, Old Faithful and UCI rules in general.
are we doing top 5 places for Stages for TDF as well?
@Chris
Blessed are the cheesemakers
EVANS!! What a finish!! There was just loads and loads and loads of the v there on that one!!
Great effort from Thor! Impressive.
Good job, Cuddles!
Conti layer down a huge ride.
Burghardt was a stud for Cadel today.
Loved seeing Bertie saluting himself for second!
CUDDLES!!!! Awesome finish, Phil Gil went missing but it was an epic effort from Thor to stay with them up the Mur. Bertie looked like he’d cooked himself halfway home but that extra steak must have kicked in.
Cadelephantisis across the whole team! The way they brought him back was pretty encouraging too. And Frank – u gotta say Big George pulled a massive turn.
Great tweet from Robbie McEwen congratulating Cuddles- “and Alberto did your victory salute for you. More saved energy!”
I’m callin’ out my fellow ‘merkans now: If a Frenchman wins on Bastille Day, I’d like all of us to refrain from trotting out the hackneyed “freedom fries” bullshit. Let’s leave that to the mouth-breathing, YJA sporting, LA chamois-sniffing, Rules violating, V-less, Hamilton hating, Hincapie ignoring, Cadillac Escalade driving, douchebag, twatwaffle, fucktard, dickweed, assclown trogs who lurk in the Comments section of VeloNews. There’s a reason why CyclingNews doesn’t have a Comments section. It’s the same reason why I don’t go to VN anymore. (Sorry, VN advertisers. And really sorry to the writers/editors at VN–you’re my bro’s and I hope we can still be friends, except for the douchenozzle who insists on keeping the Comments section. You know who you are.)
Thanks.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Shakeup on the VSP Standings today, with Evans moving up a step, Grimpelder jumping to third, Millar to fourth, and a surprise to me, Kloden moving into fifth. Congrats to Aidas for taking the VSP Maillot Juane.
[vsp_results id=”8758″]
[/vsp_results]
how many days in a row of ‘good Cadel’ will there be?????
I aim to be peaking in roughly two weeks, but can I get a point for Frankie?
Thanks.
I’m glad to see my ability to pick winners has not deserted me. On the other hand, I can say I’m hanging out the back and making you all look good.
Andy Schleck’s current form is just an elaborate ruse, no?
Also interesting that Vino had nothing left. Not so long ago on a stage like that he’d have been a nailed-on certainty to attack in the last 500m, not to try (and fail) to suck Contadors’ wheel.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Dude… take a deep breath… come back to us… it’s ok…
@All
Fuckin great weekend of TdF, and a monster finish today. I was honestly expecting the dreaded Double Rainbow/Lemon Turd, but Thor was unbelievable. Great final km, watching Contador burn a bunch of matches in vain, great work by JVDB and Vino, Schleck looking good, the Mur was a fascinating snapshot of form for the GC men. And Cuddles for the win? Chapeau!
Delenda Est Alberto
Evans was fabulous!
Still don’t know why Contador was celebrating being second so much.
Holy cannoli, was that a finish! I was paralyzed for the final 3k, don’t think I took a breath.
JiPM – wow! That was some statement. But, I pretty much agree;) Nice work, sport.
@sgt
I’m good. I’m here. Just callin’ it like I see it. :)
@Dr C
Just catching up on the Tour and the V site as I am without computer and cable at home now (getting ready to move).
Awesome job on your first Century!!! Huge accomplishment!
I did a metric century on Friday as part of my own TDF challenge. I am riding nine days in a row (the longest stretch that the tour riders ride before a rest day (yeah, I know, they ride on the rest day as well but I am only human!) and will have over 500k total by the end of today’s ride (the ninth day is today).
Tomorrow I head back to VT for 10 days of vacation but sadly no bike there :(
@Jeff in PetroMetro
I’m trying to move my date up and come down in mid-August instead of September. Army is giving me some troubles but I will keep trying!!!
Loving the racing in this first week. Great rides by BMC, Cadel and Thor today. Bad luck for Horner with the flat, but if he’s the climber he says he is he should be fine.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Can’t say I agree about Velonews. Just my opinion but couple (dozen?) of dopes in the comments doesn’t ruin the many great articles they put out. You can find trolls in the comments section of even the best sites (@Ernesto from Dallas anyone?).
As far as not bashing the French.. well that’s not my style anyway, but I’ve seen more than a few jovial shots at America here on the V since I came on board and I find them to be all quite tongue in cheek and friendly, pushing the limits without quite going over. That little bit of spice is what makes it such a great place to visit.
Conti burning matches in vein? Hardly. He attacked and broke the bunch up getting some time back on Andy. Sure he lost the stage but by such a small margin. Not saying I like the guy but I’m not letting dislike what I saw.
Btw the mobile site is being retarded.
@RedRanger
I was surprised Andy lost a few seconds, but nothing major. Frank stayed on, it could be his year, although he always fades in the last week, whereas Any gets stronger stronger stronger as the race goes on. Too close to call. Plus, it was such a steep finishing climb, it’s hard to compare that to a mountaintop finish.
In the end, I concur with Phil Ligget that this type of finish would have seen Bertie dance away from everyone a few years back, but not anymore. And, in what I conveniently interpret as classic Contador douche-nozzlery, he naturally assumed he’d won. “Of course I won! I am the Pistolero! Wait, I didn’t win? But don’t you know I’m the Pistolero?”
Can you please be more specific?
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Haha!! Leroy without a doubt! Troy’s mild mannered, Leroy’s got the mean streak!
@frank
Let’s not get too harsh. I think he genuinely thought he’d pipped Cuddles at the line. (From straight on, it looked as though he had). For the GC, though, today was nothing. Contador needed to regain a bit of confidence (even finishing second, I think we can say mission accomplished). The real race doesn’t start for a little while yet. But was impressed with the Zabriskies, Cancellaras, etc., who drove their men to safety at the front before the Mur. Just trying to avoid Stage 1 melées. Thor’s looked more like a world champion this week””terrific stuff today””and though it was likely gamesmanship and not going to happen, even volunteered to take the lone penalty and absolve Cav yesterday.
@frank
Exactly. Contador put in a major effort, and nobody cracked. In fact, it looked to me like Cuddles, F. Grimp and Gilbert were marking him, and Cadel attacked when he saw weakness from Bertie. Bertie clawed back, to be sure, but to my eye it took a lot more out of him than it did Cadel (or any of the other top 7-8, for that matter).
Time will tell; as I said, it’s a snapshot of the state of the GC contenders’ form today, we’ll see who stays sharp and who weakens over the next few weeks.
Delenda Est Alberto
@frank
Saying that Contador would have danced away from everyone a few years back smacks of a huge case of misremembering that he just left a tour of victims on the roads of the Giro a short time ago…
And that was a pretty close finish. Cut the man some slack for thinking he actually won. Is it better to be like Cuddles and think that you lost and have to ask Big George if you’re a winner or a loser than to be demonstrative and believe that you’re a winner like Contador? I prefer the later…and there’s a lot of racing left…
@LA Dave
Believe me. I used to have VN on my daily morning radar. Like I said, I love the writing staff and most of the editors (I count one as a friend). I just can’t stand the Comments section. E-mails to the Editor make so much more sense. News sites are for news. Blogs are for opinions.
As for the good-natured nationalistic ribbing that goes on here, I love it! When the Aussies throw down with the Kiwis, (Marcus, minion, Oli, etc.) I regularly blow espresso out of my nose (which hurts). I’m stoked that Scots, Irish, and English are elbowing about in our peloton. And Team America speaks for itself. But I want to head off at the pass the French-bashing Lance Crowd. It’s soooooo tired. And, Merckx, there are a bunch of them who comment at VN. So I don’t go there anymore. Fuck them and the horses they rode in on.
I’m trying not to be too wishy-washy. Too meek? I’ll try to be a bit more assertive next time. ;)
Fawesome finish- I was screwed half way up the Mur, nearly fell off the exercise bike
Damned TV monitor only had the TdF on TnaG, a Gaelic channel with some Irish blokes blethering away in gaelic – turned the volume off and stuck some U2 bullet the blue sky on as it ramped out and nearly blacked out
Anyway, Fast Phil didn’t have it, I was surprised – most pain I’ve seen on his visage, period
Boy, Bertie pulled some expressions today that made me nearly feel sorry for him – not sure why he went for it so hard today, was never going to get much time back but expended a lot of gas – clearly feeling the pressure, but fair play to him for scrapping
Must look at it again, but JVDB looked like he was waltzing it at one stage and just peeled off to let Giblets go for it – looks like a form man….
Merckx bless Thor for putting the black shorts with the Maillot Jaune today.
@frank
The menu button won’t open up.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
VN became pretty shit ever since they became the alter where Pharmstrong is worshipped. I cannot even visit that site anymore. Hopefully they’ve backed off the Lance-Love-in of late, but I would not know as I cannot stand even browsing them anymore.
@Steampunk
@drsoul
I agree with both of you on COnti.
As cool as it was seeing Cadel do what he did today, not a lot of GC questions were answered. Contador has never been dominant on short steep finishes (think Fleche where he is up there but has been pantsed by the likes of Cadel before).
Cadel has looked this good at the start of grand tours before – eg 2010 giro.
But sheesh – the mistaken half victory salute from Alberto has already made my Tour. But I fear it will just make him angry. And I think Clenby Craziness is a little like Roid Rage.
@Marcus
Methinks you might be right. I can see Contador foregoing strategy at the first sign of a steady incline and just barreling up to serve notice. He’s not going to want to just win””he’ll want to obliterate the field. Just now, I can’t see anyone who would show the form to be able to hang with him if he goes…
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Baaaaahhh. If you’re world champ AND in yellow at the TDF you can wear what you want. He could wear a tutu made out of Daffodils and we’d still have to like it or lump it.
Yes, and Kiwis and Aussies, along with the Welsh, do a very good job of keeping each other in check. I’d like to add Tasmanians, because really they’ve got more in common with NZers than Aussies, and it’s not like Australia is USING Tasmania for anything. Australia May as well give us Tassie, the third aisle, then NZ’s participation in the TDF would double! Everyone wins.
I know, I know it’s Isle, not aisle…
@Steampunk
Excuse me? That’s what Tiggers do best!
@Buck Rogers
VN is owned through Competitor Group, Inc. by Falconhead Capital, LLC. Falconhead and Competitor Group are far far less interested in VN and its product than they are in promoting marathons and triathlons and womens jeans and golf and radar detectors and baby pictures.
Sadly, the editorial board at VN is required to put the word “Armstrong” in at least one headline per day. Hence the many articles about Kristin Armstrong (the ass kicking cyclist, not the former spouse of LA). At least the editorial board has found a way around giving us an LA story everyday.
You should browse http://www.falconheadcapital.com. Watch the slide show on the home page. Note the complete lack of bicycle racing.
Check out http://www.competitorgroup.com. They describe their core assets as marathons and triathlons.