Categories: Awesome Swiss GuysRacingThe Hardmen

WWSD

What will Spartacus do?

When it comes to hardmen, there aren’t many tougher than this guy. That he manages to mix massive amounts of V with similarly massive amounts of Casual Deliberation only serves to heighten the man-crushes of a bunch of older, fatter, balder men who see a visage of Spatacus looking back at us in the mirror every time we don lycra. We wish we could be him.

So I put myself into the mind of Fabs after his huge crash/broken back/ride anyway/forced to retire sequence the other day. The guy has had a lot of bad luck over the last few years, and as he gets to the twilight of his career, decisions need to be made. What Will Spartacus Do? Well, I don’t know, but I do know what Spartacus should do.

The only way for Faboo to go out is thus:

Take a break in the sun, drink rum, heal the injury and ride a scooter without a helmet. Try not to fall off.
Work off the fat from all the Mojitos and get training again.
Target the World Champs road race and win the bloody thing.
Look completely awesome in the rainbow bands (with black shorts) and win Lombardia.
Have a rest over winter, then train for one last Classics campaign.
Win Het Volk, E3, the Ronde and Roubaix while looking awesome in the bands.
Retire on the velodrome with a cobble in hand.
Un-retire. Break the Hour Record.
Replace fucking Jens on whatever commentary team I had to put up with listening to his shit the other night.

Shouldn’t be too big an ask.

Brett

Don't blame me

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rfreese888 says:

Jul 9 2015 at 1:35 am

Spartacus is so cool that even his crashing yellow bike was awesome. We used to take old beat up bmx bikes and push them down a hill into a ramped curb so they would jump up and crash into a stop sign - the higher and more violent the ending the better. Faboo's steed crashing on stage 3 would have gotten full marks.

Not sure he can deliver on that full plan but if he targets Roubaix and has the team around him - why not?

Been flicking between ITV4 and Eurosport and have firmly landed in the Kirby / Kelly / Lemond camp. Flecha is a bit of a pain with his English but the pros seem to rate him so he gets a pass. ITV4 feels stodgy although I do love the timbre of Phil's voice.
markb says:

Jul 9 2015 at 1:38 am

@RobSandy

@markb

@RobSandy

I tend to either listen to the stage on the radio (although now I have a major dilemma as the Ashes have started and TMS is essential) or catch the highlights on ITV4 later. In the first instance we get the charming Rob Hayles and in the latter we get the double whammy of Chris Boardman and David Millar, inevitably looking cool as fuck. Score.

As I’m off work, I can watch the Tour live on telly, and listen to TMS on the radio, simultaneously. Who says it’s only women who can multi-task, I can even drink a cool beer at the same time.

You bastard. That was uncalled for.

Come on England, by the way.

Oh dear, I suppose you wont want to hear about my plans to set up the turbo trainer in front of the telly this afternoon, and put a couple of bidons full of carbo-recovery drinks in the fridge for when tea is called at Cardiff?
Chris says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:01 am

@Owen

How big of an ask would it be to get V-themed WWSD bracelets made?

I hear that @Brett is currently testing V-Selfie sticks whilst @Frank is working on some V-memes featuring cats.

If you want a cycling themed bracelet, go here.
wiscot says:

Jul 9 2015 at 2:06 am

seriously bummed for Spartacus. If this season is a bust, at least he has a yellow jersey to show for his efforts. My fear is that instead of finishing his spectacular career on a glorious season, he will fade out, a shadow of his former self, diminished by injuries.

Rory McIlroy needs to watch some tour riders. Just saying. . .

Watching the Tour on ITV 4 here in the UK. Studio commentary by Gary Imlach, Chris Boardman and David Miller. All good, articulate and insightful. Then we get the gibberings of Phil Liggett. A classic case of past glories and experience trumping diminishing competence.

Couldn't have been happier to see Panzerwagen get Jaune. That was some smart riding given the mixed bag of riders in the bunch and the fact that they were all basically cooked. I'm sure everyone thought "bugger that! I'm not chasing TM and dragging Cav up for a sprint."
RobSandy says:

Jul 9 2015 at 4:19 am

@markb

@RobSandy

@markb

@RobSandy

I tend to either listen to the stage on the radio (although now I have a major dilemma as the Ashes have started and TMS is essential) or catch the highlights on ITV4 later. In the first instance we get the charming Rob Hayles and in the latter we get the double whammy of Chris Boardman and David Millar, inevitably looking cool as fuck. Score.

As I’m off work, I can watch the Tour live on telly, and listen to TMS on the radio, simultaneously. Who says it’s only women who can multi-task, I can even drink a cool beer at the same time.

You bastard. That was uncalled for.

Come on England, by the way.

Oh dear, I suppose you wont want to hear about my plans to set up the turbo trainer in front of the telly this afternoon, and put a couple of bidons full of carbo-recovery drinks in the fridge for when tea is called at Cardiff?

Well I could point out that I will probably stop out of the back of the Swalec on my commute home and watch a bit of the cricket through the gaps in the stands. Keep an eye out for me on the TV. My bike has a child seat on it.
The Grande Fondue says:

Jul 9 2015 at 5:12 am

It would be great to see Cancellara win the WC. He kind of deserves it, like Gilbert did a few years ago.

On commentators, I'm still thankful we get cycling live. But here in Australia we've had Robbie McEwen do special comments, and he is excellent. My deal team would be Cosmo and Robbie.
Oli says:

Jul 9 2015 at 6:23 am

Sorry, not Matt Keenan. I'm with @ianpa on this one.
Mikael Liddy says:

Jul 9 2015 at 6:31 am

@Oli interesting, I've heard nothing but praise for Keeno. What's the issue?
SteelCamp says:

Jul 9 2015 at 8:58 am

Wow what a bunch of meanies. Love the sport Love the BIKES and the Riders and Love the people that bring it all to us. The biggest problem I have had in cycling is interacting with a bunch of snobs who probably couldn't do any of it better.
davidlhill says:

Jul 9 2015 at 9:08 am

@SteelCamp

Wow what a bunch of meanies. Love the sport Love the BIKES and the Riders and Love the people that bring it all to us. The biggest problem I have had in cycling is interacting with a bunch of snobs who can't ~~probably couldn’t~~ do any of it better.

I've corrected your post. Apologies for feeling the need to.

David