Cross-Training

I'VE GOT YER FECKIN' CROSS-TRAINING RIGHT HERE!

Cross-training: words that strikes fear and boredom into my heart. My cycling library is contaminated with training books I’ve collected over the years. Each one is purchased knowing, yes, this is the one. Each one has a chapter on off-the-bike training. I recently bought Tom Danielson’s cross-training book, read some of it, have not done any of it. I’ve looked on Craig’s List for weights to set up a squatting station, none have met my strict requirements for some reason. I don’t run, period. I mostly hate walking and hiking. That’s why I ride a bike, FFS. Zumba, line-dancing, tai-chi…shoot me in the face, I’d rather develop a proper drug habit.

When I lived in a university town, despite their half-assed football program, they had a big stadium. Running those stadium steps was as close to enjoying cross-training as I will ever get. A full on boogie up to the top of the stadium, lope back down to the bottom, repeat until nauseous, repeat more. The top third of the steps were steeper, just to make it fun. It mimicked the mindless suffering and exhaustion us cyclists savor. It was intense enough that each session was over in under an hour. One would leave the stadium totally blown out and relaxed, again, like one would feel after a proper ride.

I used to go in the gym during the cold, unridable winter and do some horrid step treadmill and lift weights. Oh right, that was called youth and an over abundance of hormones. Now, that is just not going to happen. Shouldn’t living in Hawaii mean you never have to enter a gym again? Yes it does. I like to think my ineptitude in water-sports and the resultant near-drownings should provide some cross-training: elevated heart rate, thrashing of arms, seeing the all-embracing light at the end of the tunnel.

I could actually join CrossFit™. No, that would be unwise. Running seems to be an integral part of the regime, tattoos might be required and all that tractor tire wrestling would either ruin my back or bulk me up.

Aren’t we slighty proud of our chicken-chested scrawny upper bodies? Too much CrossFit could ruin a lifetime of chicken-chest development. And if we get good at running and swimming we might get crazy ideas.

Obviously, these are the complaints of a lazy cyclist who likes to ride his bike, end of discussion. There are no Rules to be quoted for off season cross-training except Rule #5. It is a universal Rule. There is no off season for Rule #5, but now it’s March, Milano-Sanremo looms. The off-season is off. I can safely put away my Tommy D book for another year.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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View Comments

the Engine says:

Mar 3 2015 at 4:23 am

Accidentally spent this winter playing water polo - good workout but the regular drowning, tooth loss and concussion are downsides.

Rule #9'd the CX bike when I could and raced (or "took part" as the VMH would have it) the CX season here. Surprisingly I wasn't last - apart from the time my tyre came off.
Owen says:

Mar 3 2015 at 7:08 am

Wait, there's an off season for 16 Oz curls? Maybe that's why I'm perpetually too fat to climb.

Also, don't be a cross fitter. Because then you'd never be able to shut up about it.
frank says:

Mar 3 2015 at 7:35 am

@Ken Ho

How are you doing with the self-awareness, there, Kenny. Lovely how you start off by calling us pathetic (good job catching on to the piss-take) and tie off indicating you are hoping to be noticed by younger women.

You are a fucking creep.
frank says:

Mar 3 2015 at 7:50 am

In the immortal words of @G'rilla:

I don't cross train. I train for 'cross.
Chris says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:01 am

@Ken Ho

The email below from Bella was in my V-InBox this morning.

I saw your profile and decided to contact you in good faith from my name is Bella from Florida in the United States. I believe we are in a small world, and if we can be friends, then one day we may have the opportunity to meet and know ourselves more. Good friends mean a lot to me and I trust you will be one. Thank you and have a nice day.You can contact me through my private email so that i will send you my pictures because I did not stay in place at a time:

If you're feeling lonely and un-noticed I could send you her gmail address.
Tobin says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:07 am

@markb

I prefer lighter weight for more reps...
RobSandy says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:20 am

@Chris

@Ken Ho

The email below from Bella was in my V-InBox this morning.

I saw your profile and decided to contact you in good faith from my name is Bella from Florida in the United States. I believe we are in a small world, and if we can be friends, then one day we may have the opportunity to meet and know ourselves more. Good friends mean a lot to me and I trust you will be one. Thank you and have a nice day.You can contact me through my private email so that i will send you my pictures because I did not stay in place at a time:

If you’re feeling lonely and un-noticed I could send you her gmail address.

But, but, but...I thought me and Bella had something special going on! She's been two timing me with Chris!
Tobin says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:23 am

@Gianni my apologies in advance. No road rash but I think there may be a pic of a bike on the wall next to the Hatebreed poster? Thanks for the inspiration @Ken Ho.
GogglesPizano says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:42 am

@Sparty

Nice, I tend to be closer to Tommeke, Spartacus in stature so a couple of kgs either way isnt going to change my world. I do know that when I set my PR on one of the bigger climbs round here it was early in a season after a fair bit of strength training with a couple pounds extra, when I put in a big dig late in the climb the extra power was noticeable and made a difference. I also play ice hockey 1-2 times a week year round so that is a good core workout, when the snow is good (which it is not this year) I also get out for a fair bit of XC skiing (skate and classic). I was still able to drag my sorry ass up Haleakala last year in a respectable time and did not see a single butterfly pass through my spokes on the way... I definitely keep the workouts fairly dynamic with some box jumps plyo type exercises

@GogglesPizano

5 lbs of muscle… be careful what you wish for. During the winter I cross train two to three days per week and ride at least 5 days. My week looks like this: Mon. off the bike core and full body weight training circuit. Tues. ride. Wed. 30 min core in the late morning followed by a afternoon ride. Thurs. ride. Fri. 45 min. run then core and full body weight training. Sat and Sun ride. I schedule a run during the week for the weight bearing benefits (bone density). During the competitive season my weight is 64Kg (141-142lbs). Cross training has pushed me up to 67Kg or 149lbs. That extra weight does include a little fat, but I build upper body mass very easily. Too easily actually. If I don’t keep my reps high while lifting, I put on too much upper body muscle. It will come off slowly as the longer spring rides enter the picture, but my forte (climbing) will suffer for at least two weeks. This is me at 67Kg. My power on the bike has increased, but that extra muscle does suck up a lot of oxygen and I can feel it during harder efforts. Too heavy for the KOM title? My coach says I’ll be fine once my Spring training begins in two weeks.

Abs selfie
GogglesPizano says:

Mar 3 2015 at 8:43 am

@Barracuda

Any of those silly ideas will soon pass after spending a few minutes with some triathletes

” And if we get good at running and swimming we might get crazy ideas ”

Yep, local tri down here this weekend, may have to slip down and watch those silly people park perfectly good bikes on steel racks and run away from them only to do a big loop and come back to where the bike was left. Makes no sense to me.