I'VE GOT YER FECKIN' CROSS-TRAINING RIGHT HERE!
Cross-training: words that strikes fear and boredom into my heart. My cycling library is contaminated with training books I’ve collected over the years. Each one is purchased knowing, yes, this is the one. Each one has a chapter on off-the-bike training. I recently bought Tom Danielson’s cross-training book, read some of it, have not done any of it. I’ve looked on Craig’s List for weights to set up a squatting station, none have met my strict requirements for some reason. I don’t run, period. I mostly hate walking and hiking. That’s why I ride a bike, FFS. Zumba, line-dancing, tai-chi…shoot me in the face, I’d rather develop a proper drug habit.
When I lived in a university town, despite their half-assed football program, they had a big stadium. Running those stadium steps was as close to enjoying cross-training as I will ever get. A full on boogie up to the top of the stadium, lope back down to the bottom, repeat until nauseous, repeat more. The top third of the steps were steeper, just to make it fun. It mimicked the mindless suffering and exhaustion us cyclists savor. It was intense enough that each session was over in under an hour. One would leave the stadium totally blown out and relaxed, again, like one would feel after a proper ride.
I used to go in the gym during the cold, unridable winter and do some horrid step treadmill and lift weights. Oh right, that was called youth and an over abundance of hormones. Now, that is just not going to happen. Shouldn’t living in Hawaii mean you never have to enter a gym again? Yes it does. I like to think my ineptitude in water-sports and the resultant near-drownings should provide some cross-training: elevated heart rate, thrashing of arms, seeing the all-embracing light at the end of the tunnel.
I could actually join CrossFit™. No, that would be unwise. Running seems to be an integral part of the regime, tattoos might be required and all that tractor tire wrestling would either ruin my back or bulk me up.
Aren’t we slighty proud of our chicken-chested scrawny upper bodies? Too much CrossFit could ruin a lifetime of chicken-chest development. And if we get good at running and swimming we might get crazy ideas.
Obviously, these are the complaints of a lazy cyclist who likes to ride his bike, end of discussion. There are no Rules to be quoted for off season cross-training except Rule #5. It is a universal Rule. There is no off season for Rule #5, but now it’s March, Milano-Sanremo looms. The off-season is off. I can safely put away my Tommy D book for another year.
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A few years back after a considerable period of constant back pain and sciatica, I visited a physiotherapist who informed me that my back and abs were like jelly from too much cycling. Admittedly that was all I did, ride, race, get a battering and ride and race more.
Since 2007 I've cross trained, rode an mtb/ CX, yoga/ pilates, a gym session of lightish weights and high reps, run once a week and in the winter my club turbo sessions end with '5 minute abs' and the other with a short plyometric jumping about session. No more back pain and all round fitness feels way better. I like to think it helps my cycling despite the enforced reduction in hours in the saddle.
I've also done my best to maintain the classic cyclist skinny arms and chest despite all this extra activity. I suppose if I lived in Hawaii I'd prefer to be out riding all the time but in Scotland? Not so much.
Last winter I decided to help out a friend by going for a few weeks of personal training with the VMH so he could complete a course. While V & V V were observed, I missed the competition more than anything.
That, and the feeling that the muscles not even tickled during cycling more closely resembled shredded paper than fibres afterwards is not my favourite....
@frank
I thought Ken Ho was simply Australian.
@Ken Ho
Dunno about anything else you are saying, but this is entirely and absolutely false.
Wait... that's something you are boasting about?
Oh, I get it - you are trolling.
@Nate
Easy now...from what I see on the VMW's "reality" TV shows that you lot export over here, there are some 'interesting' units in the Estados Unidos!
@Mikael Liddy
We have our fair share of idiots, no doubt.
@Gianni
This explains something about @engine. His old homeroom teacher got fired.
@Gianni
Best lack of fitness line ever-
""Every time I shag your mum (substitute wife or girlfriend as necessary -ed.), she makes me a sandwich – that’s why I’m fat."
@Gianni
Yeah it's a well known sledge from international cricket (though no doubt had been used prior as well), see #7
http://www.citehr.com/121101-top-ten-most-hilarious-sledging-incident.html
@Mikael Liddy
I find this depressing that I'm as old as I am and it has taken this long to hear that line. Now to work it into casual conversations when riding with friends. Now I can't wait for one of them to call me fat.