I'VE GOT YER FECKIN' CROSS-TRAINING RIGHT HERE!
Cross-training: words that strikes fear and boredom into my heart. My cycling library is contaminated with training books I’ve collected over the years. Each one is purchased knowing, yes, this is the one. Each one has a chapter on off-the-bike training. I recently bought Tom Danielson’s cross-training book, read some of it, have not done any of it. I’ve looked on Craig’s List for weights to set up a squatting station, none have met my strict requirements for some reason. I don’t run, period. I mostly hate walking and hiking. That’s why I ride a bike, FFS. Zumba, line-dancing, tai-chi…shoot me in the face, I’d rather develop a proper drug habit.
When I lived in a university town, despite their half-assed football program, they had a big stadium. Running those stadium steps was as close to enjoying cross-training as I will ever get. A full on boogie up to the top of the stadium, lope back down to the bottom, repeat until nauseous, repeat more. The top third of the steps were steeper, just to make it fun. It mimicked the mindless suffering and exhaustion us cyclists savor. It was intense enough that each session was over in under an hour. One would leave the stadium totally blown out and relaxed, again, like one would feel after a proper ride.
I used to go in the gym during the cold, unridable winter and do some horrid step treadmill and lift weights. Oh right, that was called youth and an over abundance of hormones. Now, that is just not going to happen. Shouldn’t living in Hawaii mean you never have to enter a gym again? Yes it does. I like to think my ineptitude in water-sports and the resultant near-drownings should provide some cross-training: elevated heart rate, thrashing of arms, seeing the all-embracing light at the end of the tunnel.
I could actually join CrossFit™. No, that would be unwise. Running seems to be an integral part of the regime, tattoos might be required and all that tractor tire wrestling would either ruin my back or bulk me up.
Aren’t we slighty proud of our chicken-chested scrawny upper bodies? Too much CrossFit could ruin a lifetime of chicken-chest development. And if we get good at running and swimming we might get crazy ideas.
Obviously, these are the complaints of a lazy cyclist who likes to ride his bike, end of discussion. There are no Rules to be quoted for off season cross-training except Rule #5. It is a universal Rule. There is no off season for Rule #5, but now it’s March, Milano-Sanremo looms. The off-season is off. I can safely put away my Tommy D book for another year.
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I thought Bella was only interested in me. Jeez, what a bummer.
Sorry if I've missed it, but there is a "see all/load all comments" capability still? This article has taken off, would like to read through the comments all at once. Used to be able to do that before the big meltdown.
@Mikael Liddy
That was hilarious, and now I'm late for my tea. I thought that Murican 2nd amendment was something to do with removing arm warmers on a sunny day.
@Gianni
Paragraph one, I thought I was reading my autobiography...
@Giles
I've heard from more than one cyclist that pilates is an excellent cross-training regime, and by doing it twice a week I'd say you are covered. As far as being a creep or Aussie, neither, you are just a normal male. Maybe we are all creeps but that is the way we are.
@gianni
Great read. I do love my Tom Danielson book but like most I struggle to do it consistently. Part of the problem could be my left knee which doesn't really like folding up anymore. I can't get it to do half the warms ups for one session let alone the actual exercises.
I'd go to pilates but the only option locally is run by a friends wife and is attended by lots of my other mates wives. That wouldn't be right.
I find that spending a good chunk of my turbo and roller time in the drops helps to get the core engaged so my back (my lower back is a bit fucked form years or rugby) is as well prepared for the road as my legs.
@RobSandy
Pretty sure it was prior to her getting sick, otherwise the story would probably involve him responding like he does in #3.
@Chris
Funny, I'd have figured after years of playing about with other public school boys your issues might be a little lower than your back...
@Mikael Liddy
Union, mate, not league. Non of that shagging the ground whilst your opposite number lies on top and has a go that you antipodeans go in for.
@Chris
It's generally only the ex-convicts in NSW & QLD that go in for that kind of thing, in the more civilised states we tend to steer clear of those ridiculous sports all together.
@Mikael Liddy
Civilised states? Where the main feature of the most popular sport is the bloke from the local pie shop waving his flag and doing a dance every time some kicks the ball between the posts? Posts that don't even have a cross bar that your'e required to get the ball over? And if you happen to be so shit that you miss, there a second set of outer posts for loser consolation points? And how is that sport not completely fucking ridiculous?