Rest Day Swaps
“Like one who after a night of drunken revelry (and VSP picking) hies to his bed, still reeling, but with conscience yet pricking him (Voeckler, really, fourth place?), as the plungings of the Roman race-horse but so much the more strike his steel tags into him; (huh?) as one who in that miserable plight still turns and turns in giddy anguish, praying God for annihilation until the fit be passed; and at last amid the whirl of woe he feels, a deep stupor steals over him, as over the man who bleeds to death, for conscience is the wound, and there’s naught to staunch it; so, after sore wrestling in his berth (Voeckler has worn the yellow jersey repeatedly. Yes? He could be in there), Jonah’s prodigy of ponderous misery drags him drowning down to sleep.”
-Pastor Mapple’s Sermon, from Moby Dick
Oh right, Thomas Voeckler rides at the very back of the peloton, making sure he misses every split thus bringing his GC threat factor down to 0.001. A few years back he actually rode with GC ambitions but now he has a better chance of making it into the break when he is two hours down in the overall. Hell, it did get him in the maillot jaune all those years ago.
Of course it was a terrible pick. A choice of passion, maybe fueled by some vin rouge. It was your choice and you need to own it. You need to auger into the ground with it. You need to ride that pick down like Major Kong in Doctor Strangelove.
School children will point and snicker from the school yard, he picked Tommy Voeclker. Yes I did you little brats. I was high. I’m a dreamer. Fuck you.
But to strike that choice and put in Tee Jay on a rest day swap, shameful. More shameful than cursing at school children. Second chances, do-overs, that doesn’t fly when on the bike, I don’t know why we tolerate these mid-course corrections for the VSP.
Why do I care? Was it too much tubular tire gluings down here in the bunker? It is more likely the damaged DNA of my dick-ish puritanical New Bedford whaling church going ancestors. Make a choice and ride it all the way, like Major Kong.
I let Cannondale Garmin lull in into a stupor with fine Canadian beer and talk of a clean future. Damn you, Hesjedal!!! Swaps are just too too costly. I think. I’m debating. Still. I have a few hours left.
Gianni – Kudos on getting the rider of the bomb correct. My brain bubbles everytime Peter Sellers is referred to as the rider!
Oh wait, apparently I don’t. Swaps is closed. So, I’m in for the long haul. May Froome have a terrible day in the sadde while Quintana rides away from everyone.
Does this mean I Delgado’d the swaps. Or does it mean my soul knew that I wouldn’t swap?
@Erik
Funny, the timer had us (correctly) at 12 hours out just a bit ago…no idea what devlish bug is causing this now.
But fuck it. It was open for ages, other’s procrastination does not make my emergency. That’s a much easier pill for me to swallow than to spend the next 6 hours trying to debug this fucker, anyway, so that’s what I’m going with.
Also, at least we amped up the penalties to the point where RDSs are basically a cyanide tablet.
Velominati and Dr. Strangelove. Gianni, I love you.
“Second chances, do-overs, that doesn’t fly when on the bike”
GT’s are all about second chances, there’s always another stage, another parcour, redemption comes at dawn, a failed attack, a crash, a mechanical, all these come with a second chance- for three weeks at least.
Hell you can dope yourself to the gills and be back in the peloton after 2 years of hard training…
@frank
Velominati and Moby Fucking Dick and Dr. Strangelove.
WOAH!!! I like that exclamatory sentence that is so strong it can do with just a period. Strong work for a man dizzy with tubular glue. I commend thee.
@piwakawaka
Fair enough. One might get another chance another day in a stage race but no one resets your overall time. Unless you are talking the 2 year interval. Then it’s all fine. Though Basso is now a gregario instead of a GT winner. Hmmmm. Cunego too but he never got busted.
I had Petulant Pino for third, oh the embarrassment when I watched him on the pavé stage, WTF, he all but stamped his feet. I would have swapped that girl right out but hey, everything for a reason.
@gilly fixed your post
I had Petulant Pino for third, oh the embarrassment when I watched him on the pavé stage, WTF, he all but stamped his feet. I would have swapped that baby right out but hey, everything for a reason.
I was on Zwift yesterday and Jens was hosting a ride and answering questions from the adoring masses.
He reckoned that he would put his money on Quintana and that he will tear it up in the next three days. Should be interesting.
He also said he thought Sean Yates was the best DS he’s ever known – hard as nails, which is something coming from Jens.
Here’s a picture of me half-wheeling the great man. It’s not easy to maintain station in the virtual environment.
@Gianni
Finally, some sense from the glue addled minds in the bunker. VSP swaps have always struck me at being at odds with the ethos of the site and much more in keeping with the entitlement attitude of society addicted to instant the gratification of reality TV, celebrity without achievement and super sized sugar hits.
Mr Nibbles holds the same view, when he said “we’re cyclists not footballers” he wasn’t referring to any injuries sustained falling off in Le Havre or his spat with Froome, he was instead stating that he wouldn’t be changing his VSP picks whilst also telling his fans to keep the faith.
Changes? We don’t need no stinking changes!
TV is a flipping GOD. Nobody gurns and churns like he does, nobody spits vitriol at the pissed up orange peelers on Dutch Corner like he does.
@chris
That Nibbles quote really made my day when I watched it on TV.
@Ron
10-4 to that and seconded, cheers
@piwakawaka
Amen to that. How about we meet in the middle with “baby girl.”
@Gianni
Remember that Cunego used to wear a temporary “I’m Doping Free” tattoo. Hardly a statement of commitment.
You guys are forgetting about how much fun Cobo-gate was.
@gilly
Yeah, Petulant Pino was yelling at some poor youth with an FDJ gillet on who was stationed in the middle of a cobbled secteur with a pair of wheels. The youth was thinking, I can’t fix your bike and shut the fuck up already.
@frank
That could also be read that he was getting the juice without paying. Has nothing to do with sporting ethics.
@Gianni
Dave Millar did a cracking review of the first week yesterday on ITV4 Gianni, available on ITV player on line and worth checking out. He said how he was a big fan of Thibault but how it wasn’t the reaction he would expect from someone of his quality. Nibali makes a superb comment “we’re not footballers” only for Pinot to behave like one.
@Gianni
New Bedford, MA? Really? Melville knew of which he spoke. The picture below is the actual pulpit from the Old Ship Puritan meetinghouse in Hingham, MA, built by my dick-ish puritanical ancestor Peter Hobart in 1681.
Not sure if Peter Hobart would have approved of rest-day swaps, but he definitely would not have approved of Frank’s orange shoe covers!
@Minnesota Expat
Holy baby jesus, I’ve been in that meeting house many times. Forced christmas pageants, I was the black king once. I went to school in Hingham.That is a hell of a building. And Peter Hobart would not have approved rest day swaps. Right out!
Rest day swaps are bad enough but Vino has had a big VSP shuffle after the first day in the mountains. Nibbles out. Fuglsang in.
Dipped my toe in the pool with a cheeky swap of Bardet out for Rigo in to the 4th place smokey spot…Mr Jagger has promptly repaid my faith with two spectacular backward attacks in the first two mountain days.
Bardet’s been no better, but at least I wouldn’t have the 5pt penalty, lesson learned.
@chris
yeah that went well, the pace Astana set over the Aspin & Tourmalet yesterday cracked Birdsong while Nibbles sat second wheel.
@Mikael Liddy
Yes! Love that you call Fuglsang Birdsong. Been doing that for years, and no one else seems to get it.
@Gianni
Unbelievable! Really? Personal message inbound. We need to talk.
Dammit. This is why I love this site. A pic of Father Mapple played by the inimitable Orson Welles in a decent adaptation of one of my favorite books of all time. So many great lines, but this one’s a fave: Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.
Captain Ahab, sure master of Rule #5 when it comes to hunting whales.
No swaps for me. I was on vacation and my switches would have been as worthless as my original picks.