Velominati’s Sock Height Calculator: Refining the Goldilocks Principle

Start Measuring

Firstly, all you kids, kindly get off my lawn. Especially you kids who wear too tall black socks with white cycling shoes. Get off my lawn and stop racing in my favorite bike races. There’s no call for that. Why should my Milan-Sanremo enjoyment be ruined by this? It’s a sunny day, no snow, no rain, white socks not good enough, eh? Riding along the Ligurian coast from Milan to Sanremo without two seconds consideration about sock selection, eh? Just thinking about Sock Height not good enough, EH?

Winnipegcyclechick’s stellar treatise on sock height should be required reading for everyone, even non-cyclists. People should have this knowledge. Mongols on the Steppes; Тийм ээ, тийм, би энэ оймс өндөр мэднэ.*

While we have lost the battle on sock color the final battles on height continues. We can use the VSP generator between VSP runs to work on other important 1st world problems. To this end, straight outta the Velominati bunker we have this: the sock height calculator.

S = A/π – √B ± (B/A) / (1/CS¹)

Where:

A= Lower leg length measured from inner ankle protuberance to top of the inner tibia in cm.
B= Distance between inner ankle protuberance to bottom of calf in cm.
S= Sock height measured above inner ankle protuberance in cm.
CS¹= Calf Shame factor on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 equals no shame (some pride) and 10 equals great shame (seppuku or calf implants are fantasized about equally).

The term CS¹ has become most controversial in peer review but most agree a correction factor should be available for individual taste.

*In English: Yes, Yes, I know of this sock height.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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View Comments

Teocalli says:

Mar 26 2016 at 5:15 pm

Of course we are being stupid, there is a simple empirical guide to sock length....
wilburrox says:

Mar 26 2016 at 6:01 pm

@Buck Rogers

@fignons barber

@Buck Rogers

White and a bit above the malleolus (2-5 cm). That should be the end of the discussion, esp for Velominati.

Must we also wear terry cloth head bands and sport our cables with at least a 14 inch radius above the bars as well? Evolution of fashion. Socks between 9-12cm. If your legs are longer, pull the socks up. Shorter legs? Calf stretches and drink more milk.

Sock color? GQ states in fundamental dress: socks should always be as dark or DARKER than shoes. The only reason they wore white socks with black shoes is because colored athletic socks had not been invented yet. The dye would run into your feet causing serious injury and/or death. Fact.

Bullshit! When fashion reaches its apex, one should not try to change it. The discussion is socks, not head bands. Stay on target, Mate!

This is genius debate here folks. Me, firmly in the camp of evolution, get knocked back on my heels with that response and thinking dang, why fix perfect after all ? BUT, then I figure seriously, is it the triathletes with their shorty sox that have ultimately co-opted the apex ? No ! Evolution counts for better in the end. Anywho… I was in a new shop jersey today (for which this photo was snapped) feeling particularly fantastic with the new kit on a beautiful spring day before Easter when in retrospect, ultimately it was the subconscious positive mojo being generated by the perfect shorts and sox length! Sure the knees are ugly but they've been around for a while. What ya gonna do… Cheers
justDave says:

Mar 27 2016 at 1:13 am

Hugh Carthy at Catalunya this year. Need I say more?
Mikael Liddy says:

Mar 27 2016 at 7:20 am

Black Shoes? Check

White Socks at perfect height? Check

V-Logo maximising awesome factor? Check

Here endeth the lesson
Mikael Liddy says:

Mar 27 2016 at 7:27 am

That being said on the days where I'm feeling more partial to some modern length & colour, the white shoes are perfectly suited to the job.
ChrisO says:

Mar 27 2016 at 7:31 am

@justDave

Hugh Carthy at Catalunya this year. Need I say more?

Yes you need to please... I'm not sure if this is an example of good sock length, bad shorts length or a slightly unhealthy looking weight.
Ron says:

Mar 27 2016 at 8:07 am

@hubbard

Seriously? too much work just trying to punch in those variable in..i’m just gonna wear whatever socks i can get my hands on..can’t give two s*** about what others think.

Wrong place.

It's not about caring how someone else feels about your aesthetic choices and appearance. It's all about pride in making sure you look aVVesome, at all times. Pride, take pride.
Ron says:

Mar 27 2016 at 8:10 am

Life-long mid-calf enthusiast, for most sports (not ice hockey, skiing, snowboarding or futbol). I have serious skankles. No need to show those off. The only benefit of breaking my tibia was that my lower leg grew back thicker. The VMH has lower legs twice the size of mine. Upper guns are good, lower legs remain in the Chicken Leg category, no matter what.
justDave says:

Mar 27 2016 at 12:37 pm

Black shoes, white socks, black shorts...is that a line from an Ian Dury song? Carthy is only 21, 6 foot three inches tall, and yes, a little it of an ectomorph. But unhealthy? He just finished ninth overall in Catlunya, between Froome and Uran. Personally, I would cut him a little bit of slack on the shorts length...
minion says:

Mar 27 2016 at 9:05 pm

@Mikael Liddy

Black Shoes? Check

White Socks at perfect height? Check

V-Logo maximising awesome factor? Check

Here endeth the lesson

Bang. Perfect. Hubbards take note, this is how it's done.

To my everlasting shame, I've found the Specialized socks to be nearly perfect (for my height). I have tried taller, more heavily patterned socks, only for them to get really loose, the colours run and fade too quickly, and then they look like rubbish. Good business model to sell lots of socks, but durability shouldn't be overlooked.

De Feet socks, additionally, always, ALWAYS look spot on.

It's heartening to see how much time, thought and excel has gone into this.