La Vie Velominatus is a life spent in the sway of the push and pull between function and aesthetics. The former, of course, is paramount, but not necessarily at the cost of latter. A prime example is the European Posterior Man-Satchel; many feel that its use is dictated by functionality, that to abandon the saddle bag is to abandon the tools and supplies required for the ride. But it is also a crutch. A crutch that allows us to forgive ourselves of poorly maintaining our machines. A crutch that allows us indulge in excess, to indiscriminately carry tools and supplies that are not required. Tools and supplies that will only serve to weigh down both rider and machine, disrupting the harmonious balance between the two.
Riding our bikes is about simplicity. The simplicity of flight. The simplicity of silence. The simplicity of self-reliance. To amputate the saddle bag is to sever the last remaining tie to excess. It requires that we distill our needs to the essential and choose tools that are functional and lightweight, yet unfailingly reliable, for while a well-maintained machine should require little roadside maintenance, those incidents which do befall us are often critical and it is in these moments of need when our tools must not fail us.
Enthusiasm got the better of me when I elevated the Pro Mini Tool 11 onto a pedestal that it would later prove unworthy of. While it is remains a fine tool and still holds a place in my quiver of multi-tools, after 6 months in use, it has failed me on several occasions; a crime for which it cannot be forgiven and for which it has been demoted from my daily riding kit and, as a consequence, from it’s Reverence status. Twice it has occurred, once for a derailleur mishap riding the cobbles of Queen Anne and once during my 90km commute, that the tool was required desperately and failed to answer the call due to imprecise machining of the 3mm and 4mm allens. Unbecoming of a Velominatus not to notice such a thing earlier, I know; for that I humbly apologize.
But when Merckx closes a door, he opens a window, and with that I have returned to the unofficial Velominati tool brand of choice, Lezyne. I have owned it for some time – I’m not even sure how it came into my possession – but for reasons I can not fully explain, my Lezyne RAP6 tool sat idly in my tool box. It sat there, resplendent in its lightweight aluminum body and its 6mm, 5mm, 4mm, and 3mm allens, with its screwdriver and its Torx T25. Compact, and meticulously crafted, this tool is classic Lezyne: small, light, and with the complete set of required functionality. It fits neatly into my center jersey pocket, just underneath the spare tube, C02 canisters, and Lezyne tire irons. The Lezyne C02 chuck continues to live happily in my left pocket, with my key and patch kit living in the right.
Balance has been restored. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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@frank
Special reverence mention to Wipperman chain links. My mate Kiwicyclist was yesterday having his dream ride up Mont Ventoux. Snapped the chain 20 minutes in - luckily he had a wipperman link with him. Took him a while to get it re-joined (because he is a wussy banking lawyer, not a wrench) but it saved him from having a dream day on the bike ruined.
sorry, story here
This story of derring do also exposes his tyre skills too.
@Mark
Ah ha. I do wrap the tube(s) in a cut down sock in the bag. The cap in the bag is rule compliant, but the cap ON the stem ON the bike is not.
Getting the feeling the first thing I must learn is that there is no spoon.
Great taste Frank. I got the exact same one, color and all, a few months back. Love that feather weight bitch!
Have EPMS, filled with 2 tubes (with valve caps on), 2 CO2 cannisters, a pair of tyre levers and some of those Park tyre boots. At the risk of cursing myself, and other than on commute, haven't carried multi/mini tool for some years. In my experience most multi tools have tools you don't need and omit certain functions that you are at least as likely to require. If I've just adjusted something I might carry appropriate hex wrench next time out but that's it.
Jersey pockets usually full of phone, key, gels/bar. Don't like squeezing puncture repair paraphenalia into jersey pockets as (a) weighs jersey down, which gets pulled in a manner that doesn't look pro and (b) empty space in pockets often required for arm warmers once removed and rain jacket (required a lot of the year where I am). And I think its one less thing to think about in the morning if you know puncture repair kit is already mounted on bike.
'But when Merckx closes a door, he opens a window'... Great article as usual Frank and great prose!
Hmm, you lads are making me seriously reconsider the Crank Brothers 15 I carry. Might need to put my mult-tool on a diet. Not a bad idea to carry a missing link/master link/power link. All my main road bikes have Campa chains & I use a KMC missing link, so I might as well carry an extra wedged in my tubes.
Yep, my bikes are all in good form too. Aside from punctures I have very few mechanical issues on the road. In June I snapped a right shifter cable. No tool could have saved me from that long ride in, 103*F, in the 12, and only big/small rings. Two years ago on my Worst Shift Of All-Time I ripped my derailleur hanger off. Again, no tool could have fixed that.
Just when I think I have my gear sorted, one of you dicks gets something better and ruins it for me. Damnit. Now I need the Lezyne chuck and the Lezyne multi-tool. Bastards.
I did pick up the Lezyne Caddy Sack and despite the Reverence from others, it's too bulky for me. I'm sticking with my Sci-Con pocket protector.
GREAT tip on the cap on the valve when carrying the tube as a spare. That makes sense.
Correction, I have the Crank Brothers 17.
This:
http://www.crankbrothers.com/tools_multi17.php
Frank, why do you think this Lezyne is superior, aside from weight? Just think the chain tool & flat head screwdriver are excessive? I'm curious. The only time I've used my tool on the road is for seat post adjustments or to make sure my stem face plate is snugged after swapping stems. I always like to check before a big downhill.
All I've ever really used are hex wrenches, but having a Phillips & a Torx seem like a good idea.
@Ron
With the deralier out of the way, you could have used the chain tool to shorten the chain and run it single speed. Not much fun if you're a long way out but good enough to get you home.
I've got the CB 19 and I might not have used all of it but I'll stick with it. Having the spoke key might even prompt me to learn how to true a minor kink and wobble caused by an unavoidable pot hole...
Jersey pocket checklist: spare tube (rolled up n rubberbanded with stem on inside); Park GP-2 patch kit, Kool stop levers (2, not all 3), 3 CO2 canisters, $20+$1 (boot) in a little European Man Satchel (in the jersey, not under the seat). Gels, and because the VMH insists, iPhone.
Like Frank, my steeds are pristine, and if shit breaks, I'll get home one way or another. I've beaten tacoed wheels straight, had those self-extracting Campa cranks 'self extract' (riding 30 miles home one legged is a hoot), broken shifters. The only time I've been rescued out on a ride is after getting hit by a car. Turns out carbon frames don't take side impacts so well, they break in half.
All that said, looks like a nice tool. Have to get one for the traveling tool kit.