La Vie Velominatus is a life spent in the sway of the push and pull between function and aesthetics. The former, of course, is paramount, but not necessarily at the cost of latter. A prime example is the European Posterior Man-Satchel; many feel that its use is dictated by functionality, that to abandon the saddle bag is to abandon the tools and supplies required for the ride. But it is also a crutch. A crutch that allows us to forgive ourselves of poorly maintaining our machines. A crutch that allows us indulge in excess, to indiscriminately carry tools and supplies that are not required. Tools and supplies that will only serve to weigh down both rider and machine, disrupting the harmonious balance between the two.
Riding our bikes is about simplicity. The simplicity of flight. The simplicity of silence. The simplicity of self-reliance. To amputate the saddle bag is to sever the last remaining tie to excess. It requires that we distill our needs to the essential and choose tools that are functional and lightweight, yet unfailingly reliable, for while a well-maintained machine should require little roadside maintenance, those incidents which do befall us are often critical and it is in these moments of need when our tools must not fail us.
Enthusiasm got the better of me when I elevated the Pro Mini Tool 11 onto a pedestal that it would later prove unworthy of. While it is remains a fine tool and still holds a place in my quiver of multi-tools, after 6 months in use, it has failed me on several occasions; a crime for which it cannot be forgiven and for which it has been demoted from my daily riding kit and, as a consequence, from it’s Reverence status. Twice it has occurred, once for a derailleur mishap riding the cobbles of Queen Anne and once during my 90km commute, that the tool was required desperately and failed to answer the call due to imprecise machining of the 3mm and 4mm allens. Unbecoming of a Velominatus not to notice such a thing earlier, I know; for that I humbly apologize.
But when Merckx closes a door, he opens a window, and with that I have returned to the unofficial Velominati tool brand of choice, Lezyne. I have owned it for some time – I’m not even sure how it came into my possession – but for reasons I can not fully explain, my Lezyne RAP6 tool sat idly in my tool box. It sat there, resplendent in its lightweight aluminum body and its 6mm, 5mm, 4mm, and 3mm allens, with its screwdriver and its Torx T25. Compact, and meticulously crafted, this tool is classic Lezyne: small, light, and with the complete set of required functionality. It fits neatly into my center jersey pocket, just underneath the spare tube, C02 canisters, and Lezyne tire irons. The Lezyne C02 chuck continues to live happily in my left pocket, with my key and patch kit living in the right.
Balance has been restored. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@Ron
Au contraire... with a Phillips you can crank down your limit screw to get you onto a 15-18 (i.e., middle of the cassette), which makes a long ride back a bit easier. I try not to let chains get to the point here there's a risk of breaking (knock wood), so a chain tool isn't critical for me.
@Nof Landrien
Not if your kit fits. Besides, are you really suggesting that full pockets look less pro than an EPMS? Really? Seriously folks, rationalize seat bags (or other Rules violations for that matter) any way you want, EXCEPT THIS WAY.
@Ron
In the end, it's all about weight, minimalism, and reliability.
The problem with the crank bros is the weight and bulk of the tool, not it's quality. The Lezyne has everything you need, works as well or better, and is much more compact and light. Real estate is short in the jersey pockets, and you don't want your jersey sagging. Plus, we go through all this effort to get our bikes and bodies light, why carry a heavy steel tool with components on it you don't need? You don't need both a phillips and a flat-head screwdriver; all critical screws on a bike (i.e. derailleur adjustment screws) are made to accomodate both. Choose one or the other, and dump the chain tool; I love the idea of the quick link in the pocket if you feel you need to protect against a broken chain (Thanks @Marcus!)
The RAP6 is super light and super compact. It stows in the jersey without leaving any hint that it's there. Add to that a very lightweight tire iron like the Mavic one or the Lezyne irons, a lightweight chuck, and you're in great shape towards a very lightweight, bulk-free set of tools for the ride. CO2 cartridges weight about the same, but some are a bit lighter than others...I haven't found the Lezyne cartridges for sale separately yet, but I bet they are light. Also, latex tubes, while expensive, are also very light and would lighten the load even further.
@sgt
A+1.
I have given thought to making sure the multitool includes a chaiin tool just in case there is a Major Malfuntion of the drivetrain requiring cut down. Of course, you have to carry a spare master link, not so difficult to do with the SRAM chain it run. However, I also give consideration to the actual probablilty this may be required, and have rejected it in favor of another object of Reverence: the cell phone. My iPhone not only has a "dial 911" feature, but has a camera to document crash scenes as well. And of course, the velomohottie on speed dial "just in case." Yes, if she is on a ride with me, this might be a problem, but the one time I did trash the drive train, she played domestique back to the team car and fetched it for me/us.
And for those places when I ride out of cell phone coverage, I have van support. Merckx dammit, I'm a bike rider, not a radonneur.
@frank "I can take Adrian all day long, I can have Slash come by every fifteen minutes and call me a bitch, and it will never scratch the surface. But an inanimate object that disobeys my will? Fucker is going down. I have no patience for that shit. Little basterd should do as I say, and that's it." Is that really true, Frank? I was going to lay off, not so comfortable playing the roll of angry drunk. But . . . if you want . . .
Chris - good point! I never thought about running it as a single speed and getting home that way. Should I ever shift that poorly again, I'll keep this in mind.
sgt - Do you mean the outer limit screw on the RD? I'd still have to manually move the chain, right? The cable was completely snapped and pulled right out.
And I have nothing but praise for a well-fitting jersey. I like older pro team jerseys, got some off of the bay, but the pockets sag and flop. Finally paid up and got a nice, new Mavic jersey. WOW! Fits like a champ, nice and short, tight, and the pockets sit high on my back and what I stuff in them stays in position. I've seen the light! Now I just need to find a good sale from a dealer who will ship me another few Mavic jerseys to the U.S. Most of the UK dealers won't send it over here.
Frank - that makes perfect sense regarding your choice of multi-tool. I shall put the RAP6 on my list of bike wants, but it might bridge up to bike needs before the race is over...
I cant imagine using a EPMS, I'm just not organised enough. Using jerey pockets, I am forced to run through a mental check list of the Eleven Articles of Self Sufficiency (tubes x 2, lever x 1, chuck x 1, cannisters x 2, multi tool x 1, waterproof x 1, cell, x 1 and gel x 2) often laying them out in pocket order the night before a ride. If I realise mid ride that I have forgotten something, it'll eat away at the back of my mind which effectively does away with the whole point of being out there in the first place.
If I used a EPMS and wasn't forced to empty out the articles after each ride and relaod before the next, things would inevietably be taken out in the interim and would never quite make it back in. Either that or it would become infested with mouldy used gel packs.
Whatsmore, it looks ridiculously pro to be able to retrieve and use things from your jersey while on the move. Gels I cn do, but donning a waterproof on the go without killing myself is the target!
@Ron
Looks like Nashbar has them for $6.99. Might not break the bank.
@Chris
Excellent observation. Just go Casually Deliberate and grab things from the pockets. Also, if you stop putting your vest/rain coats in your pockets, but instead fold it flat and slide it between your jersey and your bibs, you'll be even more Pro. Very slick way to carry that stuff; not as bulky that way as it is in the pockets, and you can get it in/out more easily, and without also accidentally dropping your phone/wallet/etc.
@frank
Nice tip frank. Just ordered it.
@frank
I can see the whole style thing working with less bulky pockets and that I'm probably less likely to spill my crackberry and other accoutrements along the road when I pull my waterproof out but I really can't see how carefully folding said waterproof and slipping it back between my jersey and bibs while on the go is less likely to result in my untimely demise than simply stuffing it back in my jersey pocket.
I will, however, give it a go if it rains on my morning ride which being England in the summer is highly likely.