Update: On Monday, July 18th, this product has been demoted from Reverence status due to imprecise machining of the 3mm and 4mm allen wrenches. Please see the updated Reverence article for it’s worthy successor.
My apologies to anyone who has purchased this product based on this article. I am truly sorry.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
In our pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we embark on a sacred quest – the pursuit of Rule Holism. The path is strewn with apparent contradiction; these contradictions are in fact but tests laid out for us – oportunities to discover The Way and strengthen our resolve. Little by little, we find our way along the path.
Those of us who amputate our saddlebags in compliance with Rule #29, are immediately faced with the unavoidable realization that our tools are unwieldy, heavy, and bulky. Indeed, our reliance on the European Posterior Man Satchel has disconnected us from their contents and has bred complacency when it comes to tool selection. So long as the tool fits in the satchel, it goes in the satchel. Spoke wrenches, multi-tool with superfluous attachments, chain tools, zip ties, scissors, even the odd Crescent wrench has been known to find its way into the tool kit. For a Velominatus’ machine, which is kept in perfect working order at all times, these tools serve little function other than to make you climb less well for your weight.
Removing the dependence on a saddlebag demands that we become more discerning in the tools we carry with us. The tools that are to reside in our pockets must be as carefully selected for their function as our machines and our kit itself. Simple. Reliable. Lightweight. These tools will be called into action rarely, but when called upon, it will be at a time of greatest need. They must not fail.
Over the years, the tools that accompany me on my rides have reduced in number and weight, and we have developed a bond during the many hours we have spent together – me perched on my saddle, them tucked neatly in my pockets. I started with two Park tools, one with huge range of hex keys, and a second with a fewer (redundant) number of keys, but including the vital Phillips and flat-head screwdrivers. Eventually, I started leaving the multitool without the screwdrivers in the toolbox, and taking my chances with too few hex tools. The risk felt too great, so I switched to other tools with varying degrees of success, but each failed in one aspect or another – corrosion, weight, poor construction – and was added to ever-increasing pile of discarded tools.
The problem was further complicated when I switched to the Campy 10sp Skeleton Brakes with Torx T25 bolts. I cursed a blue-streak when, as I was mounting my new brakes with great anticipation, I realized I was to be stopped dead in my tracks as I didn’t have the proper Torx tool. I suppose, as Saul pointed out, I should be glad it was a standard Torx size and not some proprietary size that requires a $100 tool, but that knowledge did little to temper my rage. I purchased a set and returned home knowing full well that now my quest for the perfect minitool included a T25 to make emergency brake adjustments. More tools were chucked to the Island of Misfit Tools.
Almost without noticing, with the appearance of the Pro Minitool 11 in my stocking on Christmas morning my quest came to an end. The nickel-plated steel tools don’t rust, the alloy body is solid, the tool is thin and light enough not to cause any sag or discomfort in the jersey. Beautifully made, the tool folds smoothly and the 8mm hex snaps off to reveal a 6mm hex below it. Unlike most tools that attempt this feat, this one pulls it off with the addition of a ball lock. All the tools are cut precisely and cleanly cut, making it a pleasure to work with. Amazing.
It feels so good in the hand, it’s tempting not to carry it around and fiddle with it all day. But I don’t. Not anymore. Starting tomorrow.
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View Comments
@frank
"I was mounting my new brakes with great anticipation..."
"It feels so good in the hand, it's tempting not to carry it around and fiddle with it all day."
You need help.
Can we make it about 11am? Ever since I made the environmentally sound decision to replace my digital alarm clock with a sundial, I find it pretty hard to get up at dawn.
sure, but being a lover not a fighter, we may have to use vocals or breakdance moves. All done acapella or with the Velominati providing beatbox of course.
Personally I use a rooster as it also provides a great way to dispose of our food scraps, the manure is great for my vegie patch and any feathers that fall help to keep our hand made quilts plump. A sun dial would still mean ripping some of the earth's precious resources from the ground in one form or another.
I use CO2 cartridges because the friction of pumping creates heat, and with the number of flats I get (on Conti GP4000 25s thank you very much), it would contribute significantly to global warming.
Rapid CO2 decompression, on the other hand, cools the planet.
I also hold in my farts.
@all
What is the accepted number of CO2 cannisters to carry? i got one with the attachment and am on the way to buy some more later, obviously it comes down to weight vs practicality.
And the environment issue would be redundant if douchebags who take the car to the gym would just ride or walk there instead
Novum Velominatus here posting for the first time....let me add my experience. I get everything into a small plastic box 13x8x3cm that once held a puncture repair kit: multi tool, CO2 canister and nozzle, spoke key, patches, piece of fabric for tyre repair, two tyre levers and some money. This then goes in my pocket with one tube and a mini pump. Can not for the life of me understand why I see guys on £2,000 bikes with lightweight everything who load them down with all manner of crap in a big seat bag. There's a guy in my club who even packs cleat covers on a ride - maybe thinks he is somehow dodging Rule 69.
@Sam
I appreciate the environmental concern, but think it's negligible, especially since the pumps are usually made of plastic and even if they're metal take loads of fabrication and pollution to make. I don't use many cartridges, so I think in the end it's a way, and lets focus on getting cars off the road.
That said, I carry two cartridges with me. Held together with a rubber band, with my Mavic tire lever slipped in with it to make a nice, small package.
@Vitus 992
OK, couple things. First off, your name is AWESOME. Strong work. Second off, I've never even considered throwing that stuff in one of those boxes. Going to try this out. Which puncture repair kit did you use the box from?
The guy with saddle bag and cleat covers is a perfect example of how the bag breeds complacency with what you take with you. Really? Cleat covers? How much are you expecting to walk during your ride? Hobble out to your bike in your shoes, throw your leg over, ride it to the cafe for a little pre-ride Espresso, then ride for fucking ever, take your shoes off when you get home.
I suppose he's got a tourniquet and flashlight in there too, just in case.
@pakrat
I like the minimalist approach, and went there too, but there's just a bit too much muckitymuck with keeping them in order and not losing them. Multi-tool wins.
@Andrew
Hm. Very nice looking tool. I'm personally against bringing chain tool or spoke wrench (a properly trued wheel doesn't generally go out of true, and I watch where I'm going, generally) but if you're so inclined, this is by far the best looking tool that has both those features. Might have to add it to the arsenal just to have it, and for Mountain Biking, which obviously has a completely different set of regulations since - at least out in the Cascades - you're heading into the mountains where they'll never find you if you can't get yourself out and people die there all the time. Map, compass, first aid, etc comes with me every time.
@MrBigCog
Which puts you sleeping on the couch first, calling her "old lady" or "SAG"? If it was me, it would be hard to separate the two. It's hard to think straight after the first kick to the head, since after that, the buzzing sound is really hard to ignore.
@xyxax
Nice.