Categories: Riding Ugly

Riding Ugly: Damien Gaudin

This machine kills cobbles

The simple art of riding a bicycle can be undertaken in many ways. Watching the stylish commuters of Amsterdam going about their business in the most Casually Deliberate way makes you wonder if indeed anyone is actually going about any business at all. I don’t know how anything ever gets done in that city; everyone seems to be on their way to the coffee shop or on the way somewhere else from the coffee shop or just generally moving about with no actual destination or modus operandi to speak of. Sometimes the only indication that these aren’t Dutch zombies riding around the city is their abilty to smoke and text while riding, something I’ve never seen a zombie do successfully.

The French are also renown for the laidbackness, and while the volume of Gallic bicycle commuters is nowhere near the levels of the Dutch, they still can lay down some serious Cas Del around the rues. And god knows what those women are talking about on their phones while cruising along, but it still sounds sexy as hell to me. A good reason not to learn the language, as they could be just ordering a pizza, and to hear that accent reeling off a list of meaty toppings would spoil the fantasy, I’m afraid.

Which makes me wonder if Damien Gaudin is in fact French. I’m sure he’s got a voice like honey over velvet, skin as smooth as polished alabaster and eyes you could swim in, but boy, he sure does make a meal of riding his bike. Oh, he can ride it fast for a long time, for sure, but he looks like he’s trying to rip the headtube from the frame with his own bare hands kilometre after kilometre. Bottom brackets must cringe when they see the 189cm, 79kg figure approaching, and his time trial bike is thankful it only has to endure the punishment over a short distance.

With shoulders more often seen on a footballer than the snake-like ones of most cyclists, and knees and feet more at home caving in someone’s skull in a bar brawl, Gaudin is a picture of raw power on the bike the likes the French haven’t produced since The Badger ruled the peloton. While Msr Gaudin exudes none of the supple stroke or total Rule #5 class that Le Blaireau oozed, he may well have a post-racing career pushing people off podiums just like his country’s national icon.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/brettok@velominati.com/gaudin/”/]

Brett

Don't blame me

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  • Nice work, Brett! I've actually been thinking about how hulking he seems the past few weeks during races. He's a monster for sure. I would like to ask him to zip up his jersey & flip down his brim, but he might put me in a headlock with the guns.

    And he's not the only one in the past few weeks with the brim flipped.

    Also, how about Offredo's crash into the traffic island? Ouch, that was at a high speed and he didn't see it until the last second. (Paris-Roubaix, I think but with all the races lately things are a bit of a blur. But, I know he crashed hard).

  • Don't know much about this Gaudin chap other than what I saw in Paris-Roubaix. While casually watching, I happened to look up and take full note of this Green clad monster flailing away at the pedals over one of the later cobbled sections. I was in shock watching this guy... legs and arms all over the place but absolutely haulin' ass... like a cartoon character with cobbles, riders and debris flying around in his wake. Somebody get this guy a coach or at least a stylist.

  • I wonder how tall he is, he almost looks to big for the bike he is riding in those videos.

  • "A good reason not to learn the language, as they could be just ordering a pizza for all I know, and to hear that accent reeling off a list of meaty toppings would spoil the fantasy, I'm afraid."

    I'm not so sure this is true.

  • @RedRanger

    I wonder how tall he is, he almost looks to big for the bike he is riding in those videos.

    1.9 m, does look like too small a bike for the Muscleman

    @Nate

    I'm going to guess that Gaudin, like le Blaireau, is Breton.

    From the Maine-et-Loire departement, just south of Brittany

  • @Nate

    I'm going to guess that Gaudin, like le Blaireau, is Breton.

    Let me google that for you: non. (But close).

  • The other exciting takeaway here is that he seems to have figured out this road thing with a series of good results this spring (1st in the prologue @ Paris-Nice, too). Pursuit specialist with an impressive palmarès, but it will be neat to see if he can go from strength to strength in the coming years...

  • @Chris

    @Ron He was luck not to hurt himself seriously with that.

    Painful to watch. I was thinking "busted jaw, left-side A-C separation and rotator cuff, cracked ribs..."  Ow.

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