The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinning just a bit, I could get somewhere. Maybe I’m not in the granny gear, yeah, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I do have one more gear, the gear that will solve this whole thing.
The right middle finger drops to the shifter and pushes. No. Nothing, just the feel of the derailleur hitting the limiter screw. Idiot. You knew you didn’t have another gear didn’t you but you couldn’t resist, could you? Why do I even do it? I know the answer already but I still do it. Hope springs eternal when one is too big to climb. I did it with downtube shifters too; crank that shifter back hoping for a little more action.
I bet Gino did it when he only had three speeds and a hand lever running down the seat stay to manipulate. “Mamma Mia, sto fumando come moto di un Hippie. Ho solo bisogno di una marcia in più.” *
The only time I look down and am surprised at what gear I’m in is the rare occasion when I am in my climbing gear and crossed on the “big” chainring. And that would be the only justification for wondering what the hell is going on “down there”.
My mountain bike actually has gear indicators, which are embarrassing. What are we, three year olds? On that bike I just keep pushing levers until I can’t, or I just fall over. Maybe, in a few years, when we are all forced into electronic shifting, a soothing voice will emanate from the lever. “Really? You want an even easier gear? You don’t have one so get your fat ass off the saddle, get in the drops before I auto-shift you into the big chainring and leave you there. And you call yourself a Cyclist.” The possibilities are endless.
* Loosely translated- “FFS, I am smoking like a Hippie’s motorbike. I just need one more gear.”
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@frank
Okay - I'll grant you that you can always do a running remount (well you can if you're not a wheezy overweight guy in his 50's and/or your bike isn't under a race official's car) and that therefore point a) is dead in the water.
However point b) remains valid - with an exploded freehub you're going nowhere until the team or neutral service car arrives. As the arrival of a team or neutral service car would mean in my case that my delusions are becoming frighteningly real, then I put it to you that b) requires a long walk in socks and a call to a sarcastic VMH.
@KW
Yes. Yes you do.
@the Engine
If we're going to be including provisions for walking based on Mechanicals then we might as well chuck the whole cannon to the roadside and start explaining that one is also to remove reflectors and the flat pedals that come with your bike. For fucks sake.
You still should maintain your bike properly and ride gear that can withstand either the girth of your guns or your belly. But accidents do happen and I didn't begrudge Fabian walking after snapping his chain on the Koppenberg. Funny thing is that at the time I was surprised he was upset at losing his chances because I hadn't considered him within the realm of possible contenders for a cobbled classic. Oh, how wrong we can be!
Oh man, I can totally relate to this post. I recently moved to Pittsburgh after years of riding around the flatlands of central Indiana. I've lost count of how many times I have found myself trying to shift up and being denied by my cassette/derailleur. Here in PGH, it's not really the length of the climbs but the steepness that makes them freaking hard. Apparently, it's a rite of passage to crash/fall down while going uphill around these parts.
Not sure if I should be embarrassed about thinking that my 34x25 maybe isn't low enough for some of the hills around here, though that might be just my winter legs talking.
@frank
That should have been a tip off. Anyone who has the power to break a brand new chain at the bottom of the Koppenberg might have the potential to even outdistance Boonen on that course.
All Hail Spartacus.
@piwakawaka
Dammit!
On my Volagi, I've got a compact double in the front, and a massive 12-36 in back, complete with MTB derailleur. It shifts like shit, but when it's in gear, I can spin to my heart's content.
I'm planning on rippin' that shit out and putting an Ultegra derailleur and cassette back on the bike. The climbing gears are nice, but I really want that principle of silence and crisp shifting.
@frank I've yet to ride a SRAM equipped bike that doesn't. I think it's in the body itself.
@Gianni
Truth.
I have a hard time trying to spin up climbs...I always seem to run out of cassettes before I run out of elevation gain.
@wilburrox
In this year's first crit in February, I lined up next to a gorgeous black Paramount. He did well, and looked good doing it.