I’m a non-climber who enjoys climbing. I’d enjoy it more if I was good at it. And “enjoy” might be too strong a word, “tolerate” might be better. But dragging 89 kilos up a volcano gives one time to contemplate the cycling life .
Let us define non-climber. It’s someone either too fat, too big (gravitationally challenged) or a fast- twitching sprinter. Not liking to suffer does not make you a non-climber. As the moto camera drifts down the peloton on the Ventoux, it’s still the guys at the back who are dying the worst. Finishing within the time limit for the non-climber requires a trip deep into the cave-o-pain.
For the cyclist, the power-to-weight ratio (watts generated/body weight in kg) is king, especially when the road goes up. A large improvement in the power side of the formula is tough, we have already chosen our damn parents and cursed inheriting their vestigial hearts and lungs. Yes, this number should be honed to its finest edge, it can be nudged up but not a lot.
The weight side of the equation is completely changeable and under our control.
Lose some weight, you fat bastards. Yes, I’m talking to you. The most important thing to improve climbing, by far, is to lose some weight. Do you need dramatic proof? Put a known weight (2 liter bottles of water) into a knapsack and do a regular route. The hills will be bad, very bad. Now imagine losing that same two or four kilos. The difference can be just as impressive. When I’m at a decent riding weight, climbing out of the saddle for extended periods is not a problem. I’m still slow but gravity is not demanding I put my ass on the saddle. Losing body weight is free; one looks better on and off the bike. Your friends will hate you. What is the down side? Oh right, it takes self-control and not drinking as much alcohol as life requires.
Don’t carry extra weight on the bike. If you really don’t need a second large bidon, don’t carry that 0.8kg. That’s more than the difference between super-light climbing wheels and regular road wheels. For reasons I’ll never understand, a bike that is one kilo lighter seems noticeably faster than the one kilo saved from a bidon. So yes, N+1 can be invoked but it’s much cheaper to just leave that second bottle at home.
LeMan said the key to climbing was to relax…easy for him to say when he had the heart and lungs of three Velominati. But Rule #10 is Rule #10 so meditate on relaxing while dancing uphill. Find a little rhythm. Click up into a longer gear, pop out of the saddle, shift back down, park it back in the saddle.
Find a gear you can turn over comfortably. As we all know, Dr Ferrari was the one to get Lance to spin up climbs. It’s tough to know where the EPO stopped and the spinning started but it did seem to work for him. While some may argue for climbing in the big chainring, for us non-climbers, climbing in the saddle and spinning a gear will get us up faster and with less collateral damage.
The best part of climbing as a non-climber is that we are out there, doing it. The Stelvio, hell yeah, it’s going to take a little longer to get up there but we will do it. We don’t stop, we don’t put a foot down. We suffer like you-know-who on you-know-what but we still do it with a stupid smiles on our faces.
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@PeakInTwoYears yeah it's ridiculous. We had to work out how much our 9mth old weighed at the doctors the other night so they got me to stand on the scales with him. Our combined weight at that point (83kg) was a figure I would have been pretty happy to see myself record last year!
Admittedly this was being done a few hours after the Fleurieu Peninsula Cogal, so I was likely missing 90% of the fluid in my body through sweat loss...
@Mikael Liddy
Dehydration aside, that must've felt really good. Nice work!
Nothing like seeing 75kg's on the scales, but I'm 183cm so seems like I could still drop 5kg going by the posts above, I love beer so my solution is to drink at least 7% craft beer so I don't drink as many! exponential benefits to dropping weight from the body, love it when I get called scrawny!
@Dfitz A mate from SD went from 150kg down to 75kg eating a high carb vegan diet. His cycling performance boost has been incredible. Less weight, more red blood cells from all the high carb fuel in his blood at all times. He doesnt even have a road bike, just a giant hybrid with flat pedals but can out climb guys on 6kg Lightweights. Pretty amazing what getting healthier can do for a cyclist at any level.
@Mikael Liddy get an Ultegra Stages and try and hold 5 watts per kg when the lads attack. The gap will between you's will be a lot less than it is now. Also I know a climber around 90kg (Anthony Brooks) that can out climb me on long climbs like greenhill. Woodland's way no but long steady climbs yes.
@sthilzy
It's just another way of breaking it down - no different to looking a few metres ahead, or at the wheel in front, rather than staring at the summit.
I climb well for my size at 190cm and 77kg but I can't beat the 65kg guys up the steep climbs. I would need another 10% power I reckon(working on it).
What I can do is sit on a power number depending on the length of the climb and by doing it at my own pace I'm usually not that far behind the mountain goats. It takes out a whole load of variables and it works.
@Mikael Liddy
I certainly hope you dropped the guy to the left of you.
@durianrider
5W/kg... WTF are you talking about. That's nearly domestic pro level and certainly Elite amateur level.
If he can do that, he should be the one making the attacks.
@Gianni
I'm laying off the wine and spirits.
Beer does make you lean though;
@titirangisi not likely, while he may look unassuming, when he feels like it (generally when the road points upwards) he goes like a spider up a drainpipe!