It requires a combination of factors to intersect. You need to have already spent loads of time on a bicycle. Enough so that you have an inherent sense of this odd thing with two wheels; you can make it go quickly or slowly, you can steer it around a corner with ease, you know how the introduction of a layer of moisture between the tires and the tarmac might affect the way it does these things.
There can’t be too clear a boundary between the bicycle and your body; those lines are best when blurred a bit. Hands to bars, feet to pedals, badonkadonk to saddle – these are contact points but they extend into the body to form a cohesive unit of rider and machine.
You need to know the difference between being out of shape, overweight, under-fed or hydrated, or simply being tired; these things have different implications and you must know how to manage them. You need to have met the Man with the Hammer enough times that you can feel him standing alongside you some time before his hammer hits. You need to know which actions bring him near, and you need to know which actions may stave him off.
These are all things that must be learned through many years spent in the saddle and cannot be gleaned from a book; this is a path you must walk yourself.
It also needs to be a long day out on the bike. Long enough that you’re tired with some distance yet to go; past the halfway point in the ride, but not so close to the end that you distract yourself with thoughts of finishing. There can only be the moment, nothing more. The legs need to be heavy from hours of effort but still strong. The pressure in the chest firm as the rhythm of your breathing is contant but not overly labored. The heart has to be pumping hard but not on its limit.
You have to be on the right kind of road to support a sustained, constant effort. Not too twisty, not too undulating. Not too scenic as scenery tends to be a distraction. Perhaps it is misty, humid. The air through which you ride wraps around you like a blanket.
You don’t have to be particularly strong that day, or fast, or in particularly good shape; you just need the right amounts of the right elements. As the legs start to go round, they draw you into a kind of hypnosis. The sight of the front wheel guiding you in the bottom of your periphery adds to the effect. Slowly, your senses turn inward, like falling asleep except that with every turn of the pedals, your focus grows more intense. You see everything and you see nothing. You see the road and you see obstacles, but acknowledgement of these things is reserved for critical items only. Only those things that require attention will be given it; the rest is reserved for turning the pedals.
The blanket you wrapped yourself in gets pulled up over your head, over your ears, nearly to your eyes. Darkness is everywhere except directly in front of you, the tunnel guiding you along. You hear nothing but the whirring of your tires, perhaps the changing of gear. The Man with the Hammer wanders close; you feel him. But La Volupte has graced you as well and she distracts him to stave off his hammer for a bit longer.
His killer blow will come, but not yet.
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@VeloAU
And welcome to the fold to you as well. The Enter Button should have no reverse gravitational effect, like two magnets on their poles. Just fucking push the fucker and we'll have some fun. Cheers!
@il ciclista medio
While looking for a graphic for @Steamy's Badonkadonk question, you wouldn't believe the quantity and variation of penises and anuses The Google showed me instead. Usually with an intersection. Not what I was looking for.
@Mikael Liddy
Welcome back, mate. Its incredible how quickly the legs start to rediscover their strength. Keep us appraised. It is much easier when you can't see anything; I firmly believe this.
@graham d.m.
Your stuff didn't make it through. Try again, or did the new post box betray you?
@Oli
It's always worth pointing out. The question is, will you time it with the cycles of my OCD/Manic personality to get a positive or negative response? Endless entertainment, either way. Thanks as always for pointing it out. And thanks to Marcus and Steamy for helping and making my head hurt with their brains.
@frank
In the fucking gutter full of gravel. Off pave. On purpose. The most fucking cool move of the entire 6 hours of the ride.
I coasted the rest of the way.
@frank
Thanks mate! ...lots of button pushing in these fingers ...
That didn't come out right. this parts mine: In the fucking gutter full of gravel. Off pave. On purpose. The most fucking cool move of the entire 6 hours of the ride.
And refers to @G'rilla
@frank
Incorrect, Marcus has a very good grasp on bestiality. It's very hard to do properly if yo're not hanging on!
Your finest work to date Fronk - definitely one for your book of poetry come the day of publishing
Bike packed, 11,000m of up starting thursday, and my mind is already focusing on the scene you paint
I shall no doubt be spending some considerable time ducking and diving the hammer, praying La Volupte graces me with her affections when things start to unravel
Beautiful
for a moment there I was contemplating catching the bus home tonight
this has jolted me back to my senses - THANK YOU ALL
Best forum ever in the whole wide world. Seriously.
Excellent piece! Really great one.
Putting the brain on hold & just riding - I realize how much I do this when someone asks me for driving directions and I really, really have to think about it. I cycle everywhere & I just head out and go. I have an image and a map in my own mind, but to put into words how I navigate the route sometimes really takes a minute of thought. It's weird. I'll have gone there a hundred times, but stagger to relay my mental map into words.
"You need to know the difference between being out of shape, overweight, under-fed or hydrated, or simply being tired; these things have different implications and you must know how to manage them."
Hell yes! I had a long, long wedding week. Lots of partying, lots of imbibing, and an (un)healthy dash of drama & squabbles. Yesterday a newly acquired cousin asked me if I intended to ride. Nope, not today. "You should, you'll feel better afterwards." I know when I need a ride to shake loose some dust and this wasn't one of those days. I'd been hammered enough in the past few days and could just hear my body telling me it was a definite day of rest. The cousin intended no harm but as a cyclist you become very, very familiar with your body, what it is capable of, and when it needs a break.
@frank
We're talking Zen here aren't we. Karate and aikido share a lot with riding too - even down to the obsession with rules and dislike of twatwaffles.