Categories: Look ProRiding UglyTechnique

Look Pro: The Whale Shark

Scoop it up

The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cyclists face a metaphorically similar challenge when it comes to loading up the lungs with enough air to support our ravenous hunger for more V.

While the civilized person doesn’t normally wander about with their jaw agape as though missing a chromosome, the Velominatus – the most civilized of Cyclists – always rides with a slack jaw. Better for gulping down air while helping yourself to heaping portions of The V.

The sad reality is that when riding uphill, one can either suffer or one can climb off. There is nothing in the middle, no Option C. There may be some (perceived) degree of control over how intense the suffering is, but one of the most important discoveries a Cyclist will ever make is that riding uphill at a moderate pace is almost as hard as riding uphill Ã bloc. The question becomes one of sustainment of the effort; how much oxygen can be supplied to the blood so the muscles can keep firing. The answer is that you can be as strong as Hercules but if you don’t concentrate on your breathing to get as much air into the lungs as possible, it won’t be very long before Scotty is calling up from the engine room with some bleak news.

Enter the Whale Shark breathing technique: open you mouth wide, and hoover up as much air as possible as you make your way uphill. Ullrich was a champion of this approach, dropping the jaw like the loader on a tractor, cramming air down the hatch and into the furnace. His fellow countryman Tony Martin has taken over the mantle with possibly the most realistic Whaleshark impersonation I’ve ever seen. But this is a technique as old as the sport itself; even the most casual browsing of a photo archive will show riders from all eras riding with their mouths hanging wide open.

The idea here is improve your breathing while avoiding looking like a yawning chimp. Here are a few pointers.

While you should never ride with your mouth closed, the Whale Shark should be reserved for times when you’re actually riding hard. Unless your name starts with Thomas and ends in Voekler.
Jut the bottom of your jaw forward like you have an underbite. The underbite helps scoop up more air.
The muscles in your face and neck are not helping you ride faster; keep them relaxed partly to conserve energy but also to maximize airflow into the lungs.
Like eating before you’re hungry and drinking before you’re thirsty, start the Whale Shark before you get short on breath in order to keep those oxygen levels topped off from the start.
Resist the temptation to start breathing more quickly as you start to redline the motor. Quick breaths are shallow breaths, so keep the breathing deep and rhythmic.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Whale Shark/”/]

*Nonmammalian vertebrate? Do we need that distinction? Are there any competing nonmammalian invertebrates? I’d hate to run into a 21 metric ton bug.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

TheDon says:

Jul 24 2014 at 7:57 pm

The other advantage of the Whale Shark is that when you gobble down a significant serving of The V on a climb, and find that you have ingested more V than your puny legs/heart/lungs can take, you are already very well positioned to vomit.
Rom says:

Jul 24 2014 at 8:18 pm

@Barracuda

@frank

@Rom

@frank

Skin suit, overshoes, aero bike, deep section rims, and....hairy legs? Get thee to a nunnery sir!

have discussed this with the VMH and she's not for it. But after seeing Specialized wind tunnel video (not that we listen to them), I'm thinking it may be some free seconds. Also will help me look more fantastic.

Bullshit. First, its a Rule #11 violation. Second, she just thinks she doesn't like it. Do it and both of you will get over it.

problems are:

i have trouble keeping up with face shaving

just had a foot op to make me more aero so fitness will be declining for some time.

That's my cheaters skin suit - normal shorts plus a "Skins" brand compression top.

Oh my Merckx, the whinging here made me black out.

@frank

@Rom

@frank

Skin suit, overshoes, aero bike, deep section rims, and....hairy legs? Get thee to a nunnery sir!

have discussed this with the VMH and she's not for it. But after seeing Specialized wind tunnel video (not that we listen to them), I'm thinking it may be some free seconds. Also will help me look more fantastic.

Bullshit. First, its a Rule #11 violation. Second, she just thinks she doesn't like it. Do it and both of you will get over it.

problems are:

i have trouble keeping up with face shaving

just had a foot op to make me more aero so fitness will be declining for some time.

That's my cheaters skin suit - normal shorts plus a "Skins" brand compression top.

Oh my Merckx, the whinging here made me black out.

Please tell me that the ride your doing in the picture was not preceded by a swim, then followed by a run ?!?

Two reasons why that isn't the case:

that's a TT bike not a dirty tri bike

if I had attempted a swim first I wouldn't have made it onto the bike
Rom says:

Jul 24 2014 at 8:26 pm

@Puffy

@Rom

i have trouble keeping up with face shaving

Get yourself one of these (for the guns):

Yes, a machine that has a multitude of spinning tweezers that rips the hair out at the roots. Don't you dare suggest it's too painful because I'll just say HTFU and point to Rule #5. What, can't handle a little pain in the legs? The good lady has no problem with using one. You're pathetic!!

It takes me 30-40 minutes once a fortnight to keep the guns smooth and soft. Shaving is a waste of time and money and gives inferior results. Best of all, at once a fortnight it's not very time hungry and even the day before the hair you have growing is softer (it's newly grown with a nice rounded tip - not stubble) sparse (not all hair grow back at once) and lighter in colour so without close inspection they look hairless.

I admit it doesn't feel like a very manly thing to use and I when I use it I lock the bedroom door. Mostly because the one time my kids saw me doing it they stood at the door giggling for 10min! On the other hand ripping the hair out wholesale by the bunch full seems a rather more macho way to remove the hair than using a nancy blade.

The VMH has one of these. There are still finger nail marks in the ceiling after she attacked a square inch on one of my guns. She has much more V than me.

i prefer pain to come from within the guns.

her torture device is also pink so very unmanly to use unless watching the Giro at the same time.
Barracuda says:

Jul 24 2014 at 8:49 pm

@Rom Good to know, well played ! Adelaide and Fleurieu Peninsula in 2015 it is for you then !
scaler911 says:

Jul 24 2014 at 9:04 pm

@frank Good to be back. Will be spotty for the next month or so, but I miss the community here. Once the new business is settled down, things will get more back to normal for me. Allez!
scaler911 says:

Jul 24 2014 at 9:06 pm

@Owen

Two things:

1. I believe that I am yet a young velominatus, but it seems to me that there is a continuum of fantastic. In this case, riding ugly appears to go around the Horn, so to speak, back into looking fantastic? Does this apply to other ugly riding things (e.g. bowling pins between the handlebars, above)?

2. One of my early endurance athlete heroes was Steve Prefontaine. Not to bring running too far into this, because as we all know riding a bicycle should never proceed from swimming nor proceed to running (although I believe that track running can be analogous to track cycling), but even he appeared to be doing his best whale shark impersonation.

Pre! (I come from a distance running background. My high school track and cross country coach was friends with Bill Bowerman).
Mike_P says:

Jul 25 2014 at 1:24 am

@Puffy

@Rom

i have trouble keeping up with face shaving

Get yourself one of these (for the guns):

Yes, a machine that has a multitude of spinning tweezers that rips the hair out at the roots. Don't you dare suggest it's too painful because I'll just say HTFU and point to Rule #5. What, can't handle a little pain in the legs? The good lady has no problem with using one. You're pathetic!!

It takes me 30-40 minutes once a fortnight to keep the guns smooth and soft. Shaving is a waste of time and money and gives inferior results. Best of all, at once a fortnight it's not very time hungry and even the day before the hair you have growing is softer (it's newly grown with a nice rounded tip - not stubble) sparse (not all hair grow back at once) and lighter in colour so without close inspection they look hairless.

I admit it doesn't feel like a very manly thing to use and I when I use it I lock the bedroom door. Mostly because the one time my kids saw me doing it they stood at the door giggling for 10min! On the other hand ripping the hair out wholesale by the bunch full seems a rather more macho way to remove the hair than using a nancy blade.

And so ends the myth of the hard arsed Aussie male! Have you actually read what you've written here? The hairs are nice and soft, I have to lock the door, the hairs have a nice rounded tip. Whinge, whinge, whinge. This is the Velominati not Vogue. Get thee to the bathroom, get thee a Gillette, get yourself some time back (30-40 minutes, fuck that) and get back to one of the best traditions of cycling.
Teocalli says:

Jul 25 2014 at 1:43 am

@VeloJello

@Teocalli

You guys who seem to ride in the sun all the time...............drinking road spray face........

and before anyone points out - the arm warmers match the jersey is my excuse.

Is that at Fred Whitton?

Southern Sportive Joker this Spring
Teocalli says:

Jul 25 2014 at 2:18 am

@Lorenzo Andersonni

As a colliegate swimmer we where told to slacken the jaw as a way to relax the facial muscles. By doing this there was less tension throughout the whole of the body. While riding I am always aware of the set of my jaw, less tension equals more V.

Did your coach like you? Hopefully they also talked about timing.
RossArmstrong2014 says:

Jul 25 2014 at 3:12 am

Just tried the Whale Shark on the only wee hill where I live. Its pretty effective. Lots of lovely country air filling lungs and fuelling the guns. Rode like a beast ( for a 5'9" 88kg lump) and smashed a PB or 2. It looks ridiculous, but most things I do look daft anyway