The Whale Shark is the biggest nonmammalian vertebrate* on the planet, rivaling the dinosaurs for size. How do you feed yourself when you’re that huge without loading up on carbs all the time? Easy, you swim around with your mouth wide open for 22 hours a day and hope enough food swims in there to take the edge off the hunger pangs. Cyclists face a metaphorically similar challenge when it comes to loading up the lungs with enough air to support our ravenous hunger for more V.
While the civilized person doesn’t normally wander about with their jaw agape as though missing a chromosome, the Velominatus – the most civilized of Cyclists – always rides with a slack jaw. Better for gulping down air while helping yourself to heaping portions of The V.
The sad reality is that when riding uphill, one can either suffer or one can climb off. There is nothing in the middle, no Option C. There may be some (perceived) degree of control over how intense the suffering is, but one of the most important discoveries a Cyclist will ever make is that riding uphill at a moderate pace is almost as hard as riding uphill à bloc. The question becomes one of sustainment of the effort; how much oxygen can be supplied to the blood so the muscles can keep firing. The answer is that you can be as strong as Hercules but if you don’t concentrate on your breathing to get as much air into the lungs as possible, it won’t be very long before Scotty is calling up from the engine room with some bleak news.
Enter the Whale Shark breathing technique: open you mouth wide, and hoover up as much air as possible as you make your way uphill. Ullrich was a champion of this approach, dropping the jaw like the loader on a tractor, cramming air down the hatch and into the furnace. His fellow countryman Tony Martin has taken over the mantle with possibly the most realistic Whaleshark impersonation I’ve ever seen. But this is a technique as old as the sport itself; even the most casual browsing of a photo archive will show riders from all eras riding with their mouths hanging wide open.
The idea here is improve your breathing while avoiding looking like a yawning chimp. Here are a few pointers.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Whale Shark/”/]
*Nonmammalian vertebrate? Do we need that distinction? Are there any competing nonmammalian invertebrates? I’d hate to run into a 21 metric ton bug.
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@wiscot Are you complimenting his magnitude?
@dyalander
so apt.
@Teocalli
What's to criticize? I see three major things- Its Cold, Its Wet, and You just dropped the pack. Well done.
This is from the Daily Mail's website today.
Watch out lady! There's a Panzerwagen behind you!
That picture of Coppi is amazing. Look. At. Those. Socks. Perfection.
As a colliegate swimmer we where told to slacken the jaw as a way to relax the facial muscles. By doing this there was less tension throughout the whole of the body. While riding I am always aware of the set of my jaw, less tension equals more V.
@wiscot
And Ris' hemoglobin has got him going so fast, he's blown the hair clean off his head.
Two things:
1. I believe that I am yet a young velominatus, but it seems to me that there is a continuum of fantastic. In this case, riding ugly appears to go around the Horn, so to speak, back into looking fantastic? Does this apply to other ugly riding things (e.g. bowling pins between the handlebars, above)?
2. One of my early endurance athlete heroes was Steve Prefontaine. Not to bring running too far into this, because as we all know riding a bicycle should never proceed from swimming nor proceed to running (although I believe that track running can be analogous to track cycling), but even he appeared to be doing his best whale shark impersonation.
I'll answer half my question, because I was being mildly facetious: I don't think bottles belong on the handlebars, because it just looks silly, but where in the devil does riding ugly stop being fantastic?
Or is this like pornography, i.e. I'll know it when I see it?
@Ccos
All I see is the worst fitting yellow jersey in history. Seriously, did they not have the right size? Another reason to like Nibbles - looks fantastic.