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Sur La Plaque, Part Trois: Monkey in the Middle

The irresistible Sa Calobra in Mallorca. Photo: @roadslave525.

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that I should plot out a new course which seeks out the flattest roads in town, allowing for an easy spin every now and again. As I ride happily along my new, rolling route, I will notice a twisty road snaking its way toward the sky and I will be helpless to resist exploring it. Before long, the route is as hard as any of the others. I simply can’t stop myself seeking out new climbs.

The beauty of climbing is found in its contrasts, in the beautiful duality of suffering and being in control – of burning muscles which somehow still feel strong and powerful. At 80 kilos and 193cm I will never be a good climber, but there is a magic zone of gradients between six and eight percent where I can get the guns turning over easily despite the pressure in my lungs and legs. At those gradients, I can feel myself sitting steady in the saddle, raising out of it occasionally to keep the gear ticking over or to offer some respite to my muscles. Beyond eight percent is a zone of gradients upon which I never feel comfortable; to maintain the tempo requires all my concentration; I feel the hill clawing at my jersey, pulling me back down to the valley. I can never seem to find the right cadence in this zone; either I’m spinning too much or I’m falling behind the gear. But beyond 12 percent, I find a renewed strength; despite my grotesque weight I am somehow still able to find the power to keep the wheels turning round. At these gradients there is little you can do apart from pushing on the pedals; skill and elegance have less little to do with it than does being stubborn and a bit dim.

The Prophet once said that to ride a time trial, you should start as fast as possible, and finish as fast as possible. When asked about the middle, he said to ride that as fast as possible. And so it is for climbing. In part one of Sur La Plaque, we examined how to ride the end of a climb; you go as hard as you can. In part two, we examined how to approach a climb and how best to tackle the base. Again, you go as hard as you can. We left it a mystery as to what one should do when riding the middle of the climb. Guess what? You go as hard as you can.

The middle part of a climb is mentally the hardest. At the top, you can easily wrap your mind around what needs to be done: push as hard as you can and embrace the lactic acid as it floods over you; the effort will be over soon enough. The bottom can be intimidating, but you are generally fairly fresh, though you may need some time to find your rhythm. The middle is where you settle in and focus as concentration and momentum mean everything. Breathing deeply in harmony to your cadence, the key is to make sure you don’t lose your concentration as you and your bike are urged to slow ever down by the Man with the Hammer’s loyal servants: Gravity and Fatigue.

The loss of tempo happens very gradually as a gear that was smoothly turning over begins to move a little heavier. In response, the cadence slows ever so slightly until finally you need to shift gear. It is a never ending cycle that leads irrevocably to plodding along in the lowest gear. Combatting this process takes complete and total focus. Concentrate on the rhythm and your breath, and if the gradient kicks up, rise out of the saddle to keep the pace up. If the gradient requires a downshift, do so before you fall behind the gear; once you allow yourself to become overgeared you will be on the back foot for the rest of the climb.

Climbing through the monkey in the middle is as much about mental strength as it is physical. Find a steady, fast tempo, and commit everything you have to maintaining it. Also, for the purposes of this article, Sur la Plaque is a state of mind more than it is a chain ring. And also remember that the only reason Merckx invented the inner ring is to give us a place to store the chain while replacing the worn-out Big Ring.

VLVV.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Going as hard as you can at the start of a long climb (and I'm talking a mountain that will take you an hour+) is a BS strategy and will lead to one thing  and one thing only -  you not finishing the climb as hard as you can, despite you trying to go as hard as you can.

    Start at about 80% of whatever measure or feel you choose to use, ramp it up midway through and finish strong.  You'll soon realise you are passing the foolish who go at it 100% from the bottom.

    It may not sound as romantic, but getting over multiple passes and reflecting on success with a post ride recovery beverage makes it so.

  • Climbs? Beginning, middle, end? I know not of what you speak. Here in SE Wisconsin we have lumps. Lots of nasty little lumps that start and finish. Oh what I'd give to climb a real mountain!

    ps Barracuda, Looks like gravity's been at your socks too!

  • @ChrisO

    That photo reminds me that we miss Roadslave525...

    I hate to suck the romance and poetry out of this thread (when I say 'hate', I mean 'secretly like') but having a power meter and data has made so much difference to my climbing.

    I'm of similar dimensions to Frank and while I can't dance on the pedals for that last 500m like the little guys who are 20 kilos lighter in the last year I've done some of my best times up the local climbs of about 10km at 1200-1250 VAM. I'm not far behind the mountain goats and I'm consistently ahead of guys I would never have dreamed of beating. On Box Hill as a reference for those who know it I'm doing under 6 and a half minutes (in fact I'm on the same Strava time as Laurent Jalabert but I assume he wasn't trying too hard).

    Not by going as fast as possible at the beginning, middle and end. To me that's a recipe for going too hard at the beginning, suffering in the middle and clinging on/wishing for death at the end.

    I know my power capacity and I know how long I can stay at certain levels for a given duration, so I can be pretty sure that I have actually climbed the best I can by sitting on or above my threshold power to weight and judging my effort accordingly.

    Call me Chris Froome, but it works.

    I have been using a power meter now for a little over a month.  Wow, what a difference it makes to my climbing.  I'm the 72 kg, 183 cm type (almost the same stature as Sagan, minus the guns); so not a pure climber, but decent enough to stay close to the little billy goats.  Simply being able to pace properly, has made such a difference to getting over a hill.  I have not raced with it yet, and don't really have a plan for that.  However, I think it will have great benefits for TT efforts as well.

    My problem is in a road race, the climbers always seem to hammer the bottom of a climb, where I immediately want to go to my rhythm.  (Those in the 5 km length and beyond)

    As a result, I'm changing the way I train, hitting the bottom of a climb pretty hard (quite a bit over threshold) then getting into a rhythm, and trying to survive at the top.  The steeper 10%+ grades make this hard as hell, and I will actually face this once more in my second to last race of the year.  I have no visions of grabbing the KOM, but maybe it will keep me closer to the front, and higher on the leader board at the end of the day.

    If anything, my adjustment to training, I'm hammering the base of a climb harder than has been done in my races, and hopefully for my next race, I'll at least be less shocked by the pace at the base of a good climb.

  • @Fausto Crapiz

    @VeloSix

    @Fausto Crapiz

    For me, I'd rather have 15-19percent for 4 miles, than the mind numbing 4 percent for 20 miles found on some of the local scenic routes.

    Is this only me, or does anyone else find this to be truue?

    You should get out more..... Try 5 ways to Look Rock. 3 climbs over 10%, but just a measly 5 km. Probably not worth the effort of such a manbeast as yourself...

    Oh yeah, and two boring scenic climbs to get you warmed up. (Hence the five in 5 Ways)

    Ok. Where is this? Simply googling doesn't work. (I now know how to Rock Ariat boots while looking like a punk rocker) Do you have some kind of a GPS map for the ride?

    Thanks

    I assume you know where the Foothills Parkway is?  At the top is Look Rock.  There are 5 climbs to Look Rock.  Climb them all in one ride.  160 km, 3048 m.

  • @Fausto Crapiz

    @Velosix P.S. Just did Cherohala challenge and found myself wanting to play angry birds on the way up, it was that boring.

    Boring huh?  Riding a bicycle on the legendary  Tail of the Dragon is boring?  Descending over 100 km/h puts you to sleep?  Might want to rethink doing 5 Ways to Look Rock.  Those steep climbs that keep you interested in life, you'll also have to descend..... http://app.strava.com/activities/153476035/

  • @VeloSix Totally agree - using power doesn't mean just sitting on a number the whole way up.

    But it means that if I need to do 400 watts just to keep up at the base of a 45 minute climb then I know I haven't got long. If it eases back in time then great, if it keeps going then I have to drop off.

    There've been several races where I've done that and ended up reeling in guys who tried to keep up with the mountain goats for too long and ended up blowing.

    It's very rare that anyone catches and passes me on a climb if we all start together. Some will drop me, and some will drop me and I'll catch them but I almost never blow up.

  • @Ccos

    @Fausto Crapiz

    @Velosix P.S. Just did Cherohala challenge and found myself wanting to play angry birds on the way up, it was that boring.

    You do realize that if you don't go pro and prove your awesomeness on the hills, there likely will be a petition to formally change your name to "Douche." Better still would be to move to England and get knighted. "Sir Douche" has a nice ring to it.

    HAHAHA. .that's not what I mean. It's a long, straight, unshaded climb  with no breaks. Tough but boring.

  • @ChrisO

    That is certainly a balance I have to work out.  How long can I lay down 400 W along side the little guys spinning like hamsters, and still have a healthy reserve for my rhythm climbing for the long haul when they settle down.

    If it's a hilltop finish, I want to blow it out, but timing it right is tough (This is where I hope the power helps).  If the climb is early or mid race, then I want to stay close enough to make up on the descent or after.  Making it over a climb alone in no man's land, between the climbers and the Clydesdales just sucks.

  • @wiscot

    Climbs? Beginning, middle, end? I know not of what you speak. Here in SE Wisconsin we have lumps. Lots of nasty little lumps that start and finish. Oh what I'd give to climb a real mountain!

    Makes it a bit interesting to train  here for real climbing.  I'm headed out to Kent Eriksen's Tour de Steamboat next month.  While I've ridden in CO, nothing this long (110 miles) combined with this kind of climbing (7,500 feet) ...

    My framebuilder tells me his brother, who looks great in rosa, will be there.  Free massages at the end, with beer flowing at the post-ride barbeque, so I have lots to which to look forward.  But climbing in WI is a bit different.

  • @ChrisO

    That is certainly a balance I have to work out.  How long can I lay down 400 W along side the little guys spinning like hamsters, and still have a healthy reserve for my rhythm climbing for the long haul when they decide to settle down some, if ever.

    If it's a hilltop finish, I want to blow it out, but timing it right is tough (This is where I hope the power helps).  If the climb is early or mid race, then I want to stay close enough to make up on the descent or after.  Making it over a climb alone in no man's land, between the climbers and the Clydesdales just sucks.

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