Tubular/Carbon hum; the unison of past and future.

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath to do any “reading” or “research” of my own; the more thinking an actor or actress can do for me, the better. The more glamorous they look, the more trustworthy they are.

For the Cyclist, however, silence signals efficiency. Noise is loss; every creak, squeak, click, clack, groan, moan, or other emanation of sound from our machine or body is energy escaping the system. Energy that we put into the system through hard-fought application of The V. That includes uncontrolled, dog-like panting or wheezing, and the creaking and clicking of body parts, by the way.

Sound is energy carried on waves of vibrating air. Sound escaping our bicycle or body as a consequence of us applying pressure to the pedals is evidence that some portion of our energy is being expended to produce noise instead of moving us forward. This makes noise intolerable and infuriating in equal measure and in extreme circumstances may precipitate a Rule #65-violating Millarcopter. Drivetrain noise means loss with every link of the chain that passes through the derailleur and over a cog. A click in the bottom bracket or a creaking in the cleat signals energy poured into compression of bearings or plastic, not speed. Wheezing or panting indicates air converted from V-giving breath into the useless rattling of a larynx.

Silence the machine, control your breathing into a steady, muscle-fueling source, and maximum V will follow. The mind fixates on noises and is distracted from The Work; it is only through the Principle of Silence that we may find Rule #6.

But riding a quiet bike is far from riding in the silent vacuum that signals impending danger. On the contrary, a silent bike submits us to the genuine beauty of our Sport: the whisper of the wind in our ear, the song of a bird who encourages us along our way, the crisp click of a perfect shift, the rhythmic patter of rain on our helmet, cap, or the tarmac as we carve our path along La Vie Velominatus.

But the most beautiful sound of Cycling has come to me late in my life as a Velominatus. My reluctance to ride sew-ups has for many years denied me the sublime sound of a handmade tubular rolling along the road. This world opened up to me early last year when I finally built a set of Golden Tickets for my introduction to the Hell of the North. This year, almost by accident, I wound up riding my Café Roubaix Arenbergs for all of Keepers Tour 2013, glued to the best set of tires available – the FMB Partis-Roubaix. The amplifying qualities of the deep-section carbon rim allows the supple hum of the handmade tubular to sing like Merckx’s mighty rollers upon the rock of Mount Velomis.

This sound inspires. It is a reason to get out to ride. It is a reason to be a Cyclist. This sound is a reason to live.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Ron

    Dr. Lim's book "The Feed Zone" covers a myriad of recipes and food types and at the same time discusses ways to speed up the time spent in the kitchen. The online recipes are just recipes, but the book shares much, much more about cooking and food preparation.

    The VMH, VMN (Velominipper - our son - I think I just made that up; it's not in the Lexicon) and I have yet to find a disappointing recipe.

    In any event, if you like cooking, it's full of day-to-day recipes that serve The V quite well, I think. And it tastes awfully damn good.

  • @Ron

    Also, I'd like to try rice cakes. Anyone have a good method? I've seen Lim's online but that seems kinda involved. I like to cook, but not so much for cycling, as I'd rather be riding.

    I've made Lim's recipe on multiple occasions.  I've tried other variations of it, but I still like the bacon, parmesan and Bragg's Liquid Aminos version the best.  I don't find them terribly involved to make and they'll keep in the fridge for a few days.

  • @paolo

    @scaler911

    mavics by any chance? Just curious.

    No, Revolution Wheelworks. It's like a combo click/creak, and it seems to happen at the same time on each revolution of the wheel, and under load as well - I did a bit of climbing with them on Sunday to test them out again and got a constant click/creak on hard out of the saddle climbing.

    Last time we rode together scaler spent a bit of time checking it out as I pedaled, since it's hard to tell what's going on from the saddle.

    Super frustrating, but at least my other wheelset doesn't make any noise so I've been riding those in the mean time.

    Any ways, enough of that!

  • @Ron

    I found some of their recipes a bit tricky to get the right consistency - the rice and banana pancakes were a disaster, and their granola is also dubious. However I do like the book particularly for what JACD214 describes - the descriptions and the information that come with the recipes.

    I've settled on a slight variation of their rice cakes which is 2 cups of cooked rice, a mashed banana and a beaten egg (they cook the egg first and then mix in, whereas I use it to help bind the cakes). Mix together with a good handful of grated parmesan and some lardons or bacon cubes and a swig of maple syrup.

    Put in a loaf or slice tin (use a little of the bacon fat to grease the tin) up to a depth of about one knuckle and bake in moderate oven for 15-20 mins.

    I tend to use them post-ride rather than mid ride but then that's because I rarely want or need to eat that much mid-ride.

  • @mcsqueak

    I'm sure you guys have checked...not trying to piss Scaler off, but when I have had consistent clicking underload I found that the lock ring on the cassette was just not quite snugged up. 

    As you say...enuff of dat!

  • I'd like to try some of Lim's recipes too but I'm afraid I'd get the EPO dosage wrong or that my blood bags would go off whilst in the freezer.

     

    Just sayin'

  • @Chris

    @Ron

    If I take a break over 5 minutes during a ride my legs take a very long time to get going again. Anyone else encounter this? And have a solution? Sometimes I'm riding in small groups and people want to stop, or sometimes I go out all day and decide to take a rest. The problem is that the second half is usually grueling because I cannot get my legs churning again.Also, I'd like to try rice cakes. Anyone have a good method? I've seen Lim's online but that seems kinda involved. I like to cook, but not so much for cycling, as I'd rather be riding.

    The local club rides tend to have a tea and cake stop midway round which can be as long as forty minutes. Like you my legs tend to think that they're done for the day if they've had much more than five minutes. It hurts but getting back on the front and working hard is the only solution that has worked for me although it's backfired on more than one occasion when I've then got comfortable, spent a bit too long there and subsequently got dropped.

    I quite fancy trying rice cakes as well. I found some sushi rice in the super market the other day so I'm going to give that a go.

    One of the reasons I do mostly solo is so I can set my own pace and schedule. In other words, stops at gas stations for liquids are as short as they need to be. Even when I do organized rides, I stop, piss, eat, refill pockets and leave. No hanging about. A forty minute break would kill me.

  • @frank

    @Ron

    Everyone gets bored on a long, solo ride. The trick is not minding that it hurts. Training alone is about exploring the darkest corners of yourself. On a 12 hour solo ride, things get very musty in the ol' mind. Doubt, obsession on the inconsequential, highs, lows. Its a beautiful thing that inspires one to become a better person.

    I don't do those rides solo for the enjoyment of it, I do it because of how I feel afterwards. I do enjoy them, but at this point I can't separate the reward of having pushed myself to do something like that from the enjoyment of a long day on the bike. A group ride of that length gives you other things, but when you drop the flashlight deep in the pain cave, you would be alone even if you were riding through Times Square.

    I agree with all of this except your food intake. My 7 hour ride was about 190kms. If I hadn't eaten I'd be dead by the side of the road. There's something great about committing yourself to be so far from home knowing that there's only one way back - your own effort. Yes, the rides are hard but there is immense satisfaction at the end. 8kms from the end I passed a friend walking their dog. I yelled "hi" and kept going. I was too close to the end to slow way down and chat. It's funny how you can keep going when you need to but if you give yourself a break, it'll be 100 times harder to finish.

  • @Deakus

    @frank

    East Maui Loop; 170km, 2200km. Bidons: 2. Food: none. Pace: moderate. Lost one bidon on the bumpy section but did refill the other one once.

    That's training.

    I see another big volcano to the NW on that island......so, you weren't tempted to tag it on to the end for shits and giggles?

    There is a guy Rob who does what he calls "The Corkscrew", which is to then ride up Haleakala after doing the East Maui loop. That's a real ride. Did it for his 50th birthday this year.

    The Volcano on the west side doesn't have a road up it, but there is a hefty loop around the west side of the island.

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