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La Vie Velominatus: The Sound of Silence

Tubular/Carbon hum; the unison of past and future.

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath to do any “reading” or “research” of my own; the more thinking an actor or actress can do for me, the better. The more glamorous they look, the more trustworthy they are.

For the Cyclist, however, silence signals efficiency. Noise is loss; every creak, squeak, click, clack, groan, moan, or other emanation of sound from our machine or body is energy escaping the system. Energy that we put into the system through hard-fought application of The V. That includes uncontrolled, dog-like panting or wheezing, and the creaking and clicking of body parts, by the way.

Sound is energy carried on waves of vibrating air. Sound escaping our bicycle or body as a consequence of us applying pressure to the pedals is evidence that some portion of our energy is being expended to produce noise instead of moving us forward. This makes noise intolerable and infuriating in equal measure and in extreme circumstances may precipitate a Rule #65-violating Millarcopter. Drivetrain noise means loss with every link of the chain that passes through the derailleur and over a cog. A click in the bottom bracket or a creaking in the cleat signals energy poured into compression of bearings or plastic, not speed. Wheezing or panting indicates air converted from V-giving breath into the useless rattling of a larynx.

Silence the machine, control your breathing into a steady, muscle-fueling source, and maximum V will follow. The mind fixates on noises and is distracted from The Work; it is only through the Principle of Silence that we may find Rule #6.

But riding a quiet bike is far from riding in the silent vacuum that signals impending danger. On the contrary, a silent bike submits us to the genuine beauty of our Sport: the whisper of the wind in our ear, the song of a bird who encourages us along our way, the crisp click of a perfect shift, the rhythmic patter of rain on our helmet, cap, or the tarmac as we carve our path along La Vie Velominatus.

But the most beautiful sound of Cycling has come to me late in my life as a Velominatus. My reluctance to ride sew-ups has for many years denied me the sublime sound of a handmade tubular rolling along the road. This world opened up to me early last year when I finally built a set of Golden Tickets for my introduction to the Hell of the North. This year, almost by accident, I wound up riding my Café Roubaix Arenbergs for all of Keepers Tour 2013, glued to the best set of tires available – the FMB Partis-Roubaix. The amplifying qualities of the deep-section carbon rim allows the supple hum of the handmade tubular to sing like Merckx’s mighty rollers upon the rock of Mount Velomis.

This sound inspires. It is a reason to get out to ride. It is a reason to be a Cyclist. This sound is a reason to live.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

strathlubnaig says:

May 22 2013 at 6:59 am

Last few days I have had the most annoying creak on the pedal stroke when going uphill or a heavy gear. Checked pedals, BB, changed jockey wheels, lubed, cleaned, &etc. Finally did the now obvious and found a single hex on the chainrings was like 1 turn loose. So a headwind ride today with hilly bits was indeed a joy.
Cyclops says:

May 22 2013 at 7:14 am

I'm not obsessed...

I went to go to bed last night and saw this. This is not a staged picture. This is what it usually looks like, if not worse.
Tobin says:

May 22 2013 at 7:46 am

@Cyclops that scene looks like the vanity in my library...(otherwise known as the master bath).
the Engine says:

May 22 2013 at 8:07 am

@Cyclops - Have you broken in to my house again?
Dan_R says:

May 22 2013 at 8:26 am

@Cyclops yup. I have seen that room before. I have since move all new and back issues to the coffee bar in the studio. Pic to follow
eightzero says:

May 22 2013 at 8:44 am

@frank

@eightzero

This is fine, fine writing. Indeed, the Principle of Silence is of primary importance to me. I've found I like listening to all the subtle sounds of my bike. I've even discovered some of the noises are related to the expected flex of the components, and are not indicative of pending failure. I also do appreciate the difffrent sounds made by different tyres, and have found different road surfaces make huge differences.

Yeah, and I've been wanting to say that the better clincher tires also have a great sound, and that if you pair them to some nice wheels, you're on your way. Supple clinchers on 3x box section rims is a great sound. Carbon clincher will give you a hardon any time you ride alongside a wall and can hear the roar of the wheels.

But tubs and carbon together...ohmama.

As far as long term suffering, I've found that my thoughts involving the longest upcoming rides haunt me. Will I be able to survive the next Cogal? I've 6 complete centuries planned this year (not counting the uber-gruelling V-to-V Stage Cogal in late July) so I question my committment to suffering. Will I be worthy of The V? These thoughts along the white line distract me from my current work.

I suggest an adjustment of attitude. First off, you organized what could be the most ambitious Cogal to date, and that is saying something. A Stage Cogal? Yes please. Chapeau.

The question you should be asking yourself is not can I do it, but how long will it take me? There is no quitting, but it might take you for fucking ever. I remember climbing off my bike on a long ride in France when I was 14. That shit haunts you. Don't climb off. Just slow down if you have to.

Now, this starts getting tricky with these really long days, but my most valued training technique is to train to ride farther/harder than the ride you are training for. I've done that my whole life. If you are doing a 200km ride, train to ride 250km. Knowing you've gone longer/harder etc will walk in like Guido and knock those pesky doubts right out of your mind when you hit 125km and start to wonder.

You are on your way, the next step is to learn to eradicate those doubts and replace them with strength. Strength comes from knowing you can do more.

VLVV, mate.

To quote Dr. Smith, "oh the pain. The pain."
Moahr milez this weekend. Moahr.

But jeebuz h merckx, every time I look at those profiles for the stage cogal, I ask myself, "what have you done?"
unversio says:

May 22 2013 at 8:46 am

@Cyclops Racing Weight in the mix there. "I need to find that one at my house."
Sauterelle says:

May 22 2013 at 9:23 am

@Cyclops

I'm not obsessed...

I went to go to bed last night and saw this. This is not a staged picture. This is what it usually looks like, if not worse.

Where's your box of Kleenex?
Cyclops says:

May 22 2013 at 9:25 am

@unversio

@Cyclops Racing Weight in the mix there. "I need to find that one at my house."

Too bad it has been more effective as a paperweight than getting me down to where I want to be. On a brighter note, I have lost 5.5kg since the beginning of March. Only 12 more.
Cyclops says:

May 22 2013 at 9:26 am

@Sauterelle

No Kleenex but the "wonder sock" is hidden under the bed.