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Look Pro: Keep a Lid on It

The most stylish bit of gear in Cycling history: the Cycling Cap

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet manufacturers began taking helmet design seriously.

To be clear, I am a helmet advocate. I never leave home without mine, and no Cyclist shall ever be allowed to start a Cogal without perching one on their noggin. But I do this in the knowledge that I look less Fantastic that if I were rolling out in a classic cotton Cycling Cap.

Specialized was the first to make inroads into building a stylish helmet with the Sub-Six. The fact that every other helmet was a hollowed-out bowling ball didn’t matter very much because no one wore them outside Belgium, and even there, they were permitted to wear the second-coolest piece of headgear, the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

The issue of the helmet has also been compounded by the fact that most continental Pros had no clue how to wear a helmet, given that they spent most of their lives not wearing one. When asked to, they often suffered from Toad Head and other anomalies commonly encountered when violating the Three-Point System.

Helmets are a necessary evil which are improving in style, but they are all uglier than the hallowed Cycling Cap. When wearing a helmet, keep the following points in mind.

Keep the front low to the eyes. Forehead exposure must be limited to 1-2 cm at all times. As always, the Three-Point System is your guide.
Keep the chin strap snug, but not too tight; you need to be able to move your mouth sufficiently in order to allow for the inhaling of wasps.
Helmets look even worse without shades; they must be accompanied by cycling-specific eyewear at all times. If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.
Helmets are under no circumstances to resemble that of one worn in other sports such as hockey or rock climbing.
If, at any point, you find yourself reaching for the same helmet as the hipster who arrived at the LBS aboard a fixie, reconsider your life because you are off the path.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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EricW says:

Jul 30 2013 at 2:23 pm

@the Engine

@El Cannon

Any advice for adjusting shades so that they stay tucked into helmet vents?

When I first got my black Propero II life was perfect: the shoes matched the socks, matched the bike, matched the tires, matched the seat, matched the kit, matched the bar tape, matched the helmet, black, black, black....ahhhh... I get shudder just thinking about the beauty of it. Slowly my shades, Half Jackets, began slipping from the vents. At first just when dropping my head in exhaustion, then while peaking under my elbow, and now they come unseated at every bump, twist, and turn. I am forced to at all times wear them over my eyes, because I refuse the disgrace of slipping an ear piece between my neck and jersey.

Exactly the same thing with my Jawbones and new Giro - exactly the same as the recently mangled one but the Oakleys just won't go in.

I prefer to have the arms of my sunglasses grip the back of my ears a bit, so I usually bend them down if they're straight. On all of my helmets, that has the effect of raising the glasses up when tucked into the vent. It also lets the glasses hook into the vents a bit more for security. Note: I do the upside down tuck to get the lenses out of my field of vision.
the Engine says:

Jul 30 2013 at 2:26 pm

@frank

@Gianni

Why did I own one of those shiet early Giro helmets when the Specialized ones that looked so much better? Maybe no Spesh dealers nearby but you are right, all the early Brancale, Bell, Giro helmets sucked DB.

Also, the Three-Point System is hard to deal with when one has a massive, thick-walled, nearly empty skull. Helmets just can't cover all that real estate. Maybe that is the only thing I have in common with Fignon.

Is this why?

Most serious crash to date was with one of these Giro's back in '94 - fairly sure it saved my life despite its looks. Still have the remains as a reminder.
G'rilla says:

Jul 30 2013 at 3:04 pm

I just got a Troy Lee A1 in silver flake for the MTB. Ridiculously comfortable. I wish they made a road helmet. I probably can't get away with removing the visor for CX races.
wiscot says:

Jul 30 2013 at 3:40 pm

@Cyclops

@wiscot

@Cyclops

I went for a little spin near my house yesterday. Idaho sucks in that we have to ride in what we call the American Dolomites. Note the La Vie Claire cycling cap (I ride a LOOK) and the Euro switchback in the background.

How do you build such beautiful bikes with such sausage-like fingers?

And seriously, that's Idaho? Wow! Is that road paved or gravel? It's had to tell. Whatever, that's some real purty country you got there.

That's a thumb lame-brain. Paved and butter smoof.

@frank

@Cyclops

Is that the climb to Grand Targhee?

Yes. We even got a little Rule #9 toward the top. And what made it more sublime was that I was riding with a Cat 3 from Texas (elevation 190m) who was not yet acclimated to the 2500m elevation so it was nice to be on the dishing out end of the climbing suffering for once.

Hey, it's hard to tell. I thought you were just giving us a big meaty middle finger!
Marcus says:

Jul 30 2013 at 4:09 pm

@Cantona

@Marcus

that hurt!

Dont worry - I am on your side after I did this to a helmet a few years back.

Didnt save my hip though
Spun Up says:

Jul 30 2013 at 4:40 pm

@Cyclops

I went for a little spin near my house yesterday. Idaho sucks in that we have to ride in what we call the American Dolomites. Note the La Vie Claire cycling cap (I ride a LOOK) and the Euro switchback in the background.

Wow, Sir Elton has dropped some weight since he started riding, but it's hard to imagine that it's easy to play the piano with fingers like those.

@Marcus, I would have thought that your campaign for Mayor of New York would keep you too busy to ride or post!
Dan_R says:

Jul 30 2013 at 5:02 pm

Caps not hats.

That is all
il ciclista medio says:

Jul 30 2013 at 5:48 pm

@Marcus Was the hip x-ray just an excuse to get your schlong on Velominati?
frank says:

Jul 30 2013 at 5:50 pm

@wiscot I was hoping it was his middle finger!!
frank says:

Jul 30 2013 at 5:53 pm

@il ciclista medio

@Marcus Was the hip x-ray just an excuse to get your schlong on Velominati?

Thats either a horse or a magnified fruit fly's junk.

Ferfucksake. FYI, @Marcus, I'm rebuilding the upload too and seriously considering hardcoding your banishment into it.

but then we'd never see what Im sure you will post in response.