Look Pro: Keep a Lid on It

The most stylish bit of gear in Cycling history: the Cycling Cap

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet manufacturers began taking helmet design seriously.

To be clear, I am a helmet advocate. I never leave home without mine, and no Cyclist shall ever be allowed to start a Cogal without perching one on their noggin. But I do this in the knowledge that I look less Fantastic that if I were rolling out in a classic cotton Cycling Cap.

Specialized was the first to make inroads into building a stylish helmet with the Sub-Six. The fact that every other helmet was a hollowed-out bowling ball didn’t matter very much because no one wore them outside Belgium, and even there, they were permitted to wear the second-coolest piece of headgear, the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

The issue of the helmet has also been compounded by the fact that most continental Pros had no clue how to wear a helmet, given that they spent most of their lives not wearing one. When asked to, they often suffered from Toad Head and other anomalies commonly encountered when violating the Three-Point System.

Helmets are a necessary evil which are improving in style, but they are all uglier than the hallowed Cycling Cap. When wearing a helmet, keep the following points in mind.

  1. Keep the front low to the eyes. Forehead exposure must be limited to 1-2 cm at all times. As always, the Three-Point System is your guide.
  2. Keep the chin strap snug, but not too tight; you need to be able to move your mouth sufficiently in order to allow for the inhaling of wasps.
  3. Helmets look even worse without shades; they must be accompanied by cycling-specific eyewear at all times. If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.
  4. Helmets are under no circumstances to resemble that of one worn in other sports such as hockey or rock climbing.
  5. If, at any point, you find yourself reaching for the same helmet as the hipster who arrived at the LBS aboard a fixie, reconsider your life because you are off the path.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Chris

    @frank speedy work!

    @Skip

    This is a riveting debate, but maybe we can segue into something less polemic like a helmet discussion. Somebody post something new and get this thread off the front page!

    Can we now discuss how the Giro Transfer just doesn't work as well as the top end Aeon?

  • My first helmet was a Cooper Hockey in 1980. The first day I wore it a guy ran a light and I ended up under his car. Next was a skid lid. The gigantic bell helmets were nuts. I stayed with the marginally effective Skid Lid for years while riding my 1979 COPPI with campy and Modolo brakes.

  • Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    I have an Air Attack and Sub Six sitting in my garage. We've come a long way, baby, on helmet design and fitting. "Not snug enough for you sir? Why not add a bunch of sticky-backed foam inside your helmet to make it "fit."

    I have to disagree on you calling out Monsieur Fignon on his 3 point violation. Those are prescription glasses and cycling specfic eyewear (as far as I know) did not have Rx inserts back then. Add to this the fact that the legs of his glasses would not have fit around the straps properly, and they would likely have kept falling off. I say he gets an exemption.

    I wish I could say the same for Sean Kelly who despite being my #1 rider of all time, wore some god-awful brain buckets (I'm looking at you, Brancale) for the $$$ as thy were not mandatory when he wore them.

  • @wiscot

    Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

  • @frank

    @wiscot

    Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

    Let's never speak of it again.

  • In my early days I was still wearing a hollowed-out bowling ball. Then I crashed hard in the rain. My mother took pity on my head, my helmet, and my Budgetatus and gave me money for a new one, which I put towards a Specialized M3, still a cool looking helmet.

    I'm digging the Uvex helmets on Argos-Shimano and the Kabusha helmets on Lampre these days.

    Good work, Frank! I really like point #5. Tri-spoke wheels, 20 cm handlebars, tight denim and then to top the form-over-function cake a skateboard helmet because, ya know, those roadies are just prickjobs.

  • Also, very timely. Last Friday I was heading out with the VMH, in an auto. I try not to be on a bicycle on the roads Fridays between 16-19:00, as people go fucking bonkers after a work week and in search of their first drink. Too damn aggressive for me.

    We're on one of the busiest local roads, lots of traffic, lights, and TGIFriday type shitholes. There are other roads that take you out of town with far, far less traffic. I spot a cyclist. USPS jersey, Trek USPS bike, M-Frames, no helmet, no lights, riding in heavy traffic. Holy fuck. Did COTHO circa 2002 come to town with a death wish in tow?

    I'm seriously intrigued by this character. Lance love and a riding in Friday traffic without a helmet. What in the hell?

  • @frank

    @wiscot

    Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

    Damn you're good.

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