Categories: EtiquetteFolkloreLook ProNostalgiaTechnology

Look Pro: Keep a Lid on It

The most stylish bit of gear in Cycling history: the Cycling Cap

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet manufacturers began taking helmet design seriously.

To be clear, I am a helmet advocate. I never leave home without mine, and no Cyclist shall ever be allowed to start a Cogal without perching one on their noggin. But I do this in the knowledge that I look less Fantastic that if I were rolling out in a classic cotton Cycling Cap.

Specialized was the first to make inroads into building a stylish helmet with the Sub-Six. The fact that every other helmet was a hollowed-out bowling ball didn’t matter very much because no one wore them outside Belgium, and even there, they were permitted to wear the second-coolest piece of headgear, the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

The issue of the helmet has also been compounded by the fact that most continental Pros had no clue how to wear a helmet, given that they spent most of their lives not wearing one. When asked to, they often suffered from Toad Head and other anomalies commonly encountered when violating the Three-Point System.

Helmets are a necessary evil which are improving in style, but they are all uglier than the hallowed Cycling Cap. When wearing a helmet, keep the following points in mind.

Keep the front low to the eyes. Forehead exposure must be limited to 1-2 cm at all times. As always, the Three-Point System is your guide.
Keep the chin strap snug, but not too tight; you need to be able to move your mouth sufficiently in order to allow for the inhaling of wasps.
Helmets look even worse without shades; they must be accompanied by cycling-specific eyewear at all times. If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.
Helmets are under no circumstances to resemble that of one worn in other sports such as hockey or rock climbing.
If, at any point, you find yourself reaching for the same helmet as the hipster who arrived at the LBS aboard a fixie, reconsider your life because you are off the path.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/helmets/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

scaler911 says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:14 pm

@TBONE

What did I just watch? It's like non-violent Jackass.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:22 pm

@Wrenchmonkey

Points to note

Secure all loose straps.
no stickers
Newbies, do NOT, on pain of death, put one on until you have been shown which bit is the front.

Aces. Absolutely aces.

This is @packfiller's Twitter profile pic. Solid fucking gold.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:30 pm

@Gianni

Why did I own one of those shiet early Giro helmets when the Specialized ones that looked so much better? Maybe no Spesh dealers nearby but you are right, all the early Brancale, Bell, Giro helmets sucked DB.

Also, the Three-Point System is hard to deal with when one has a massive, thick-walled, nearly empty skull. Helmets just can't cover all that real estate. Maybe that is the only thing I have in common with Fignon.

Is this why?
mouse says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:41 pm

@frank

Holy shit! What an awesome photo! I was wondering why he'd be on the tops on his TT bike:

Then I noticed the cobbles.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:43 pm

@TommyTubolare

If you lived in Holland would you wear one to pick up your morning broodje? I think you're losing your Dutch roots mate.You should move to Europe and you'd get rid off that ugly lid in no time.Lids are for racing and they are all ugly in one way or another.

Great shame cause we will never ride a cogal.

Dutchmen are exempt from the Helmet Cogal Rule on account of Being Awesome.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:47 pm

@Skip

@Chris

@frank speedy work!

@Skip

This is a riveting debate, but maybe we can segue into something less polemic like a helmet discussion. Somebody post something new and get this thread off the front page!

Can we now discuss how the Giro Transfer just doesn't work as well as the top end Aeon?

To your dis/credit (add or remove prefix depending on whether you love/hate the article), I was feeling a bit of writer's block when you asked the question. I went and dropped my morning deuce and voila!

You only get one of those per season, just FYI.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:49 pm

@mouse

@frank

@wiscot

Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

Let's never speak of it again.

I was going to ignore it, but now I have to look.

Thanks anyway.
gregorio says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:50 pm

I'm able to write this post because I was wearing my helmet when I touched wheels in a paceline and took a 35 kph digger 9 days ago. Without it I'd be in the ICU...instead I got away with a mild concussion. Yes the chin strap was fastened and snug. You can see 3 breaks in the foam liner because my helmet did it's job and absorbed the crash impact before it got to my skull. Ruby, however, suffered irreparable frame damage. Thankfully, Trek's crash replacement program is pretty generous, and they over-nighted me a new frame.

Yup, I'm a believer.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 8:54 pm

@Ron

Also, very timely. Last Friday I was heading out with the VMH, in an auto. I try not to be on a bicycle on the roads Fridays between 16-19:00, as people go fucking bonkers after a work week and in search of their first drink. Too damn aggressive for me.

No offense to anyone living it and loving it south of the Mason-Dixon Line, but as a mate, I have to tell you that as a former New Yorker, you appear to have lost your spirit.

Where you used to live "too aggressive for me" meant "turned the gun sideways".

@Ron

I'm seriously intrigued by this character. Lance love and a riding in Friday traffic without a helmet. What in the hell?

You think that's bad? Imagine being named Lance and being a serious cyclist in this day and age. V-V Cogal Dominator Lance is living that nightmare.

Although I suspect he might also have been doping.
frank says:

Jul 29 2013 at 9:04 pm

@Marcus

No helmet discussion is ever complete without a photo of Ludo

And just to help your eyes re-adjust

Belov was such a rule-breaker

Which of those pictures were supposed to make our eyes re-adjust? That was like dropping acid to let you brain re-adjust from watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.