Look Pro: Keep a Lid on It

The most stylish bit of gear in Cycling history: the Cycling Cap

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet manufacturers began taking helmet design seriously.

To be clear, I am a helmet advocate. I never leave home without mine, and no Cyclist shall ever be allowed to start a Cogal without perching one on their noggin. But I do this in the knowledge that I look less Fantastic that if I were rolling out in a classic cotton Cycling Cap.

Specialized was the first to make inroads into building a stylish helmet with the Sub-Six. The fact that every other helmet was a hollowed-out bowling ball didn’t matter very much because no one wore them outside Belgium, and even there, they were permitted to wear the second-coolest piece of headgear, the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

The issue of the helmet has also been compounded by the fact that most continental Pros had no clue how to wear a helmet, given that they spent most of their lives not wearing one. When asked to, they often suffered from Toad Head and other anomalies commonly encountered when violating the Three-Point System.

Helmets are a necessary evil which are improving in style, but they are all uglier than the hallowed Cycling Cap. When wearing a helmet, keep the following points in mind.

  1. Keep the front low to the eyes. Forehead exposure must be limited to 1-2 cm at all times. As always, the Three-Point System is your guide.
  2. Keep the chin strap snug, but not too tight; you need to be able to move your mouth sufficiently in order to allow for the inhaling of wasps.
  3. Helmets look even worse without shades; they must be accompanied by cycling-specific eyewear at all times. If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.
  4. Helmets are under no circumstances to resemble that of one worn in other sports such as hockey or rock climbing.
  5. If, at any point, you find yourself reaching for the same helmet as the hipster who arrived at the LBS aboard a fixie, reconsider your life because you are off the path.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/helmets/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Gianni

    @strathlubnaig

    Das Boot rules during the Tour? Tell me more. I am a huge fan of Das Boot and have made reference to it various times in articles here. But I'll be fucked if I'm going to start following anyone's tweets just yet. Ha! I'm not even sure how I would.

    I watched the uncut, 5 or 6 hour long German TV version of this movie about two years ago all in one go.  Man, what a movie!  Fuck'in blew me away and I was crushed for about two days following the marathon viewing of it.  A true must see.

  • @frank

    @mouse

    @frank

    @wiscot

    Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

    Let's never speak of it again.

    I was going to ignore it, but now I have to look.

    Thanks anyway.

    Frank, I'd strongly recommend not looking into "tiagra-gate" It'll only raise your blood pressure..

  • @Marcus

    No helmet discussion is ever complete without a photo of Ludo

    FUCK'IN Ludo Dierckxsens!!!  Talk about your throw back cyclists!  Guy is just awesome!  Watching him hammering out those P-R's with Hincapie and Museeuw back in the late '90's/early 2000's just blows me away!  Just hardcore!  But, for the helmet, we are missing the back piece on that helmet that he always wore.  Not sure what it's purpose was?

  • @frank

    If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.

    I always felt like Contador was one of the few allowed to break this rule.  Hanging the shades on the back collar of the jersey is a douche look, but being a personality who has fully embraced his inner douche, it fits the character.

  • @wiscot

    @frank

    @mouse

    @frank

    @wiscot

    Frank, strong work to get us off the Tiagra shifter debate!

    There was a Tiagra debate? I'm sorry, I was too busy riding my bike to notice.

    Let's never speak of it again.

    I was going to ignore it, but now I have to look.

    Thanks anyway.

    Frank, I'd strongly recommend not looking into "tiagra-gate" It'll only raise your blood pressure..

    Or alternatively, so thoroughly crush your spirit that you'll want to shut down the site or sell the rights and content on to Road Bike Review. Same same.

  • @Andre the Fish

    Could I get a clarification on Rule #16 from a Sensei please?

    Although I strictly adhere to Rule #16 and respect the jersey, does Rule #16 apply to caps when worn under my helmet?

    I want to wear one of my various team caps but do not want to be in breach of Rule #16 which although it applies to the jersey, the spirit of the rule could be extended to caps.

    Yes.

  • @Cantona

    As an anesthesiologist at a major trauma hospital, let me assure you all that your skull doesn't care if you were riding a crit or going milk pick up milk. I've never seen a battle of car vs unhelmeted cyclist end with a cyclist victory. not to get to real, but I've never dreamt of uttering "but he was only getting groceries!" to a crying wife.

    Wear a helmet.

    Seriously?

    We're going to do this again? There are only so many pictures of the Assos girl on the Internet.

    Tell you what; If, and only if, you can find new pictures of her - never before posted on Velominati and send them - to me;

    Then, and only upon receipt of said photos, may you have your precious helmet debate - version 4.0.

  • @mouse

    haha. Fair play. No debate here.

    (just wear one - or tattoo something on your forehead so that I don't have to spend the night shitting myself trying to keep you alive).

    There. I'm done. Purged.

1 5 6 7 8 9 17
Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago