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Look Pro: Keep a Lid on It

The most stylish bit of gear in Cycling history: the Cycling Cap

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet manufacturers began taking helmet design seriously.

To be clear, I am a helmet advocate. I never leave home without mine, and no Cyclist shall ever be allowed to start a Cogal without perching one on their noggin. But I do this in the knowledge that I look less Fantastic that if I were rolling out in a classic cotton Cycling Cap.

Specialized was the first to make inroads into building a stylish helmet with the Sub-Six. The fact that every other helmet was a hollowed-out bowling ball didn’t matter very much because no one wore them outside Belgium, and even there, they were permitted to wear the second-coolest piece of headgear, the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

The issue of the helmet has also been compounded by the fact that most continental Pros had no clue how to wear a helmet, given that they spent most of their lives not wearing one. When asked to, they often suffered from Toad Head and other anomalies commonly encountered when violating the Three-Point System.

Helmets are a necessary evil which are improving in style, but they are all uglier than the hallowed Cycling Cap. When wearing a helmet, keep the following points in mind.

Keep the front low to the eyes. Forehead exposure must be limited to 1-2 cm at all times. As always, the Three-Point System is your guide.
Keep the chin strap snug, but not too tight; you need to be able to move your mouth sufficiently in order to allow for the inhaling of wasps.
Helmets look even worse without shades; they must be accompanied by cycling-specific eyewear at all times. If they are not in use over the eyes, they must be tucked in the helmet vents.
Helmets are under no circumstances to resemble that of one worn in other sports such as hockey or rock climbing.
If, at any point, you find yourself reaching for the same helmet as the hipster who arrived at the LBS aboard a fixie, reconsider your life because you are off the path.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/helmets/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

PeakInTwoYears says:

Jul 30 2013 at 7:20 am

@frank

@V-V Cogal Attendees

What was the equation we came up with this weekend? I cooked the brain cells that were storing that info. Either way, @Bill Chris, you are onto it.

Was it something like (w*2) * (n+1) + 1, where w = wheels ?

If I'm misdismembering that, it's because I was approaching drunkness at the time. If I'm right, it's because I didn't climb hard enough on Sunday.
TBONE says:

Jul 30 2013 at 8:37 am

@scaler911

@TBONE

What did I just watch? It's like non-violent Jackass.

The Trailer Park Boys. Canada's finest comedy show since The Kids in the Hall.

@frank

, do NOT, on pain of death, put one on until you have been shown which bit is the front.

Aces. Absolutely aces.

This is @packfiller's Twitter profile pic. Solid fucking gold.

Reminds me of this dude I saw at the end of the KCIBR. He had ridden a good portion of the race in bibs only and had the best bib sunburn I've ever seen. Well, it was the only bib sunburn I'd ever seen. I should have taken a picture.
scaler911 says:

Jul 30 2013 at 8:48 am

@Cantona

@mouse

haha. Fair play. No debate here.

(just wear one - or tattoo something on your forehead so that I don't have to spend the night shitting myself trying to keep you alive).

There. I'm done. Purged.

You anesthesiologists are all just insane. (love, your friendly anesthesia technician/ technologist; scaler911).
wiscot says:

Jul 30 2013 at 8:53 am

@frank

@wiscot

I have to disagree on you calling out Monsieur Fignon on his 3 point violation. Those are prescription glasses and cycling specfic eyewear (as far as I know) did not have Rx inserts back then. Add to this the fact that the legs of his glasses would not have fit around the straps properly, and they would likely have kept falling off. I say he gets an exemption.

You're confusing Rule #37 with the Three-Point System. Totally different animals. And, while both would be wrong, both are independently violable.

I wish I could say the same for Sean Kelly who despite being my #1 rider of all time, wore some god-awful brain buckets (I'm looking at you, Brancale) for the $$$ as thy were not mandatory when he wore them.

Kelly was the classic example of the Pro who could not transition between hairnet and helmet. We bought the rights for two photos in The Rules just to demonstrate this very notion.

And indeed, Brancale was the culprit.

Here are some unlicensed photos to demonstrate his radness.

Hairnet:

Cap:

Birancale

Of course, as fugly as Kelly's Brancale was, it didn't stop him from one of the best winning moves in a classic - EVER! His descent of the Poggio is the stuff of legend and the look on poor wee Moreno's face as he knew who had caught him (and as going to beat him) was priceless. The groan of the crowd was incredible too.
Souleur says:

Jul 30 2013 at 9:19 am

the Hairnet. Giro made some inroads with their Air Attack series, but progress was generally at a standstill until the hardshell became mandatory after the tragic death of Andrey Kivilev in Paris-Nice in 2003.

Agreed, but then again, Giro has a real let down with the recent Air Air attack helmet and even worse yet, the Reverb. Wow, maybe some like it, but for me, I'll stick to the Bell Volt

And, I must admit, there is nothing better than donning the cycling cap, in fall, and heading out into the setting sun with the bill of the cap doing exactly as it is purposed for, keeping the sun out of your eyes.
Marcus says:

Jul 30 2013 at 9:25 am

@scaler911

@Cantona

@mouse

haha. Fair play. No debate here.

(just wear one - or tattoo something on your forehead so that I don't have to spend the night shitting myself trying to keep you alive).

There. I'm done. Purged.

You anesthesiologists are all just insane. (love, your friendly anesthesia technician/ technologist; scaler911).

as if an anaesthetist has ever spoken to a patient or their family (other than to check they are asleep).
meursault says:

Jul 30 2013 at 9:38 am

@PeakInTwoYears

@mcsqueak

Oops sorry, should have posted the one Frank wears:

That's pretty stylin'. Who was Eddy Mercko?

I went from this

to this

Thank Merkcx for this site...
scaler911 says:

Jul 30 2013 at 9:40 am

@Marcus

@scaler911

@Cantona

@mouse

haha. Fair play. No debate here.

(just wear one - or tattoo something on your forehead so that I don't have to spend the night shitting myself trying to keep you alive).

There. I'm done. Purged.

You anesthesiologists are all just insane. (love, your friendly anesthesia technician/ technologist; scaler911).

as if an anaesthetist has ever spoken to a patient or their family (other than to check they are asleep).

Ha!
Cyclops says:

Jul 30 2013 at 9:59 am

I went for a little spin near my house yesterday. Idaho sucks in that we have to ride in what we call the American Dolomites. Note the La Vie Claire cycling cap (I ride a LOOK) and the Euro switchback in the background.
scaler911 says:

Jul 30 2013 at 10:16 am

@Cyclops

I've seen your Strava posts. I didn't know there were hills there.