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Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Louison Bobet rests calmly on his top tube before a race.

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale. In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.

The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.

Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.

Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.

In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:

A pre-ride espresso is the perfect casually deliberate means to prepare for a ride. Fully kitted up, loyal machine leaning patiently against a nearby wall, cycling cap carefully disheveled atop the head, sunnies perched above the brim.
Never look like you’re too eager to get on with the ride or the race. After all, the ride is a daily companion and while it is cherished, you are tranquillo in the knowledge that the ride will start soon enough. This is the genesis of Rule #80; energy is to be saved for the right moment and is not to be wasted on pointless things like standing under your own strength.
Once the ride begins, the first twenty minutes are to be taken at a luxuriously slow pace. A rider is confident in their powers and never too anxious to show their hand too early. When riding with others, this is the time to ride two abreast, chatting about simpler times.
Light conversation is to be taken up casually near the top of the first several climbs of the day. If not at the top, at least during the more difficult bits. As the other riders in the group begin to feel the pressure in their legs and Doubt begins its steady march into the bit of the morale where they do their worst damage, a casually deliberate comment which show no signs whatsoever of labored breathing can do much to hurry that march along.
Never show how much you’re suffering. Ever. Even when inhaling a wasp, the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering. Unless, of course, it is the finale, and all thought has vacated the mind in the solemn journey into the void. Only then is it acceptable to cease being casually deliberate.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

michael says:

Dec 9 2010 at 5:51 pm

@frank

Your metrosexuality is showing.

The socks look just about perfect, the shorts are definitely short; they're above the vastus medialius/sartorius muscle intersection. They are even above the end of the gracilis/adductor longus (can never figure out which one that is) I even recommend these anatomies as a guideline for short length. I also recommend that socks are anatomically fit. The lowest socks can be at the thinnest part of the ankle viewed from the front, but they absolutely must be below where your gastrocnemius ends on the inside. Some people have short calf muscles and therefore maybe a measurement above the thinnest part of the ankle could be used as a guideline.

I've actually become obsessed about sock length and am thinking of going back to school to write a master's thesis on it. Confession: I like the slightly longer socks Specialized (Special-ed) Wool Trainers are my favorites.
Steampunk says:

Dec 9 2010 at 6:39 pm

Y'know: I used to like these pages, before they turned into copy for Banana Republic or some such. What the fuck do cravats, tweed, and sweater vests have to do with cycling? Please refer to Rule 4. And then Rule 5.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:43 pm

@frank
Yes, you're right. No offense to the many Velomihotties who read these posts. A porter, a valet is in order here. A local would be best. He could arrange the delivery of both yours and your Velomihottie's race bags to a comfortable location where she could also change into something cool and comfortable, yet smart and femine. I'm thinking an all white ensemble. Very summer. White summer dress, knee length, sleeveless with spaghetti straps, a white floppy ribbon hat with a 15cm wide brim, white slingback leather sandals with a 2.5cm heel and an open toe, large sunglasses framed in black, and a big, chunky red bracelet to match her red toenail polish--the kind of red polish that says, "Frank, you're going to get lucky tonight."
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 9:53 pm

@Kiwicyclist
Grey suit with brown shoes is classic! Anyone can wear black shoes with a grey suit. But a man who wears brown shoes and a grey suit says, "I know what the fuck I'm doing." Just get your shades and styles right. The lighter the shade of grey, the lighter the shade of brown. And no mixing casual shoes with business suits. Lace-ups with the suits. Belt must match the shoes perfectly. Or skip the belt and go with suspenders. How about a medium grey pinstripe suit, medium brown lace ups (Loake Savoy in mahogany?), mahogany leather belt, pink and white windowpane or box check shirt, very dark navy blue or black tie with a very small white pattern (white dots?) and a solid light pink pocket square with a flat fold. The suit is English tailored, double vent, two-button. Pants--plain front, no cuffs. Shirt is spread collar, French cuff with dark rose colored cufflinks. Use a Windsor knot.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 10:21 pm

@Steampunk
Absolutely, it's always about the bike. We just want to help the roadside fan make better clothing choices when dressing for perpetual YouTube exposure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_eIrXGhmTI&feature=channel
Brett says:

Dec 9 2010 at 10:28 pm

Jeff in PetroMetro:
I'm thinking an all white ensemble. Very summer. White summer dress, knee length, sleeveless with spaghetti straps, a white floppy ribbon hat with a 15cm wide brim, white slingback leather sandals with a 2.5cm heel and an open toe, large sunglasses framed in black, and a big, chunky red bracelet to match her red toenail polish-the kind of red polish that says, "Frank, you're going to get lucky tonight."

Fuck me, it's Patrick Bateman! AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Dexter says:

Dec 10 2010 at 1:11 am

Steampunk:
Y'know: I used to like these pages, before they turned into copy for Banana Republic or some such. What the fuck do cravats, tweed, and sweater vests have to do with cycling? Please refer to Rule 4. And then Rule 5.

Getting a little out of hand I think! None of this now sounds casually deliberate!

Can you really call it casually deliberate if you've done so much planning to be seen that way that you need a local sherpa to carry a change of clothing up a mountain and then presumbly have a little tent for your Velomihottie to change in! Hmmmm?
Dexter says:

Dec 10 2010 at 1:12 am

Jeff in PetroMetro:
@Kiwicyclist
Use a Windsor knot.

In addition to my last.... you should always use a Windsor knot!
Jarvis says:

Dec 10 2010 at 1:26 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro

Although I'm sure you're already aware of it: The Chap
Ron says:

Dec 10 2010 at 5:16 am

I'm a big enthusiast of slightly longer socks. I always wore mid-calf socks when playing sports growing up and through college. Now I like to wear slightly longer ones when cycling. I have pretty severe skankles, so maybe I'm just trying to cover up...

I'm torn about Manhattan, but maybe it is because I'm a New Yorker. Lots of style, but a lot of people who don't seem Casually Deliberate about it at all. They just moved to NYC from Ohio or Kansas or wherever and work hard to totally remake themselves. It's a bit stuffy to me, but hey, better than stained sweats and goddamn crocs in public...