Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Louison Bobet rests calmly on his top tube before a race.

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale.  In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.

The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.

Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.

Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.

In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:

  1. A pre-ride espresso is the perfect casually deliberate means to prepare for a ride. Fully kitted up, loyal machine leaning patiently against a nearby wall, cycling cap carefully disheveled atop the head, sunnies perched above the brim.
  2. Never look like you’re too eager to get on with the ride or the race. After all, the ride is a daily companion and while it is cherished, you are tranquillo in the knowledge that the ride will start soon enough. This is the genesis of Rule #80; energy is to be saved for the right moment and is not to be wasted on pointless things like standing under your own strength.
  3. Once the ride begins, the first twenty minutes are to be taken at a luxuriously slow pace. A rider is confident in their powers and never too anxious to show their hand too early. When riding with others, this is the time to ride two abreast, chatting about simpler times.
  4. Light conversation is to be taken up casually near the top of the first several climbs of the day. If not at the top, at least during the more difficult bits. As the other riders in the group begin to feel the pressure in their legs and Doubt begins its steady march into the bit of the morale where they do their worst damage, a casually deliberate comment which show no signs whatsoever of labored breathing can do much to hurry that march along.
  5. Never show how much you’re suffering. Ever. Even when inhaling a wasp, the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering. Unless, of course, it is the finale, and all thought has vacated the mind in the solemn journey into the void. Only then is it acceptable to cease being casually deliberate.
frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Increased sloppiness and a general laid back attitude has permeated most facets of our western cultures, which is a shame. When I was on business in Japan it was nice to wear my suit everywhere and be expected to look put together and professional, lest I embarrass myself and my company.

    I love wearing jeans and t-shirts as much as the next person, but sometimes I just wish people would "try" harder in certain situations.

  • @G'phant

    Oh so true, unfortunately. Except we don't call 'em jandals, they're fuckin thongs mate....

    I'm loving this whole discussion, and the smartening up is something I could go for. In an op-shop kind of way though; I'm not on the kind of coin that allows G-phant to strut around the Commissaires tent at the Tour of Wellington wearing Armani.

  • @Brett
    That is a gross slander, you dashed cad. I demand satisfaction. Frame pumps at dawn, Sir. Name your second. (Just trying to get with the new "better dressed" zeitgeist.) Don't think I ever have, or ever will, own anything by Armani. Not even if they start making bikes. Actually, especially if they start making bikes.

  • It's one thing to dress to the nines in the center of London, it's all together different to do so on the side of a mountain in the Pyrenees. Look at the white loafers on the dude in the front and the sharp lady behind him. Overcoats and skimmer hats abound. So these fans keep their school clothes on and scramble up a scree slope to perch themselves there and watch the race go by. And it looks like at least a couple of them road their bikes too. Class.

    That's how to pay fucking respect to Gimondi as he rides by in the big ring. Not by wearing a Borat banana hammock and painting dick and balls on the road.

  • See, while I'm as imbued in the Importance of Being Dressed Correctly for every occasion, wouldn't it be a greater endorsement of the Vie to ride up the same cols ahead of the peloton and to watch the race go by, (preferably attired similar to Gimondi above or otherwise wearing the sacred kit), while showing off one's magnificent Guns?

    I need guidance as I'm planning my first trip to next year's Tour and my tailor has a backlog so he needs advance notice.

  • My tailor is Italian. I'll have to ask him to kit me up properly for any and all bicycle races I attend. His name is Pio and he is spot on.

    I hope to see at least one sharply dressed Velominati in the background of all important race photos in 2011. Get that off-bicycle kit together, lads. And no fucking denim.

  • @Marko
    Reminds me of the scene in La Course where the youngster in the Molteni cap sheepishly watches Eddy shooting the shit with his mechanics one morning before the race.

  • @Ron
    Think that denim like this is acceptable.

    roadslave :
    @Jarvis, @G'Phant, @Ron - sod the TDU, they wouldn't know what 'Looking Fantastic' looks like on or off the bike...

    wanker

  • @Kiwicyclist
    While I often gaze upon the sacred Velominati kit with reverence and wonder, and I burn to own one or three, I don't think wearing the kit with cycling shoes while standing on the side of the road at the TdF is becoming of a Velominatus.

    Please understand, this is only a humble suggestion from a fellow Velominatus. It is given with optimism and friendship and with the hope that we can bring sartorial splendor to those who have lost their way whether on or off a bike.

    If I were to attend any of the upcoming tours, I would undoubtedly ride up one of the vaunted cols prior to the arrival of the peloton. However, I would arrange for a friend or Velomihottie to meet me at a pre-determined location at the side of the road. She would carry my accoutrements for me in a neatly organized Velominati race bag. In it, I might have a washcloth, a towel, a bottle of water with which to clean myself, a small bottle of rubbing alcohol to help prevent saddlesores, sunscreen, silk boxers, a cotton undershirt, linen slacks and matching sportcoat (khaki or light stone color), a cotton/linen blend long sleeve dress shirt with button down collar (sky blue) with matching pocket square, leather woven loafers (brown), alligator belt (brown), thin cotton over-the-calf dress socks (light brown), tortoise shell sunglasses, and a soft straw Panama hat (natural color, probably a Stetson Monte Carlo, as I am bald as a ping-pong ball). I'd go without the tie. I would also pack a second Velominati kit and clean fresh socks. Who wants to put on a sweaty kit for the descent? Not me.

    When packing, I roll each garment. This saves a tremendous amount of space in my bag and it keeps my clothes almost free of wrinkles.

    I recommend the linen suit because it looks great slightly wrinkled, it says summer vacation, and it's very Casually Deliberate.

    Food would consist of some kind of local meat and cheese sandwiches on baguettes, sparkling mineral water, and a bottle of a local moderately priced red wine.

    We will recognize you as a true Velominatus when we see you on steephill.tv or Universal Sports or Versus or Eurosport because you will be resplendent in your semi formal Casually Deliberate roadside sportswear.

    You can change the world, one pair of slacks at a time.

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