Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Louison Bobet rests calmly on his top tube before a race.

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale.  In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.

The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.

Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.

Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.

In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:

  1. A pre-ride espresso is the perfect casually deliberate means to prepare for a ride. Fully kitted up, loyal machine leaning patiently against a nearby wall, cycling cap carefully disheveled atop the head, sunnies perched above the brim.
  2. Never look like you’re too eager to get on with the ride or the race. After all, the ride is a daily companion and while it is cherished, you are tranquillo in the knowledge that the ride will start soon enough. This is the genesis of Rule #80; energy is to be saved for the right moment and is not to be wasted on pointless things like standing under your own strength.
  3. Once the ride begins, the first twenty minutes are to be taken at a luxuriously slow pace. A rider is confident in their powers and never too anxious to show their hand too early. When riding with others, this is the time to ride two abreast, chatting about simpler times.
  4. Light conversation is to be taken up casually near the top of the first several climbs of the day. If not at the top, at least during the more difficult bits. As the other riders in the group begin to feel the pressure in their legs and Doubt begins its steady march into the bit of the morale where they do their worst damage, a casually deliberate comment which show no signs whatsoever of labored breathing can do much to hurry that march along.
  5. Never show how much you’re suffering. Ever. Even when inhaling a wasp, the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering. Unless, of course, it is the finale, and all thought has vacated the mind in the solemn journey into the void. Only then is it acceptable to cease being casually deliberate.
frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Chris:
    @frank
    Hey, I am new member and just wanted to agree with the lactose in milk. The pro Mark Cavendish will never drink or eat anything containing milk on the day of a ride because it messes with the lactate acid buildup in the muscles.

    Cavendish might be an okay sprinter but he's got a lot to learn about science. ;-)

    Lots of people are lactose intolerant and that can definitely have an effect on performance, but it's still nothing whatsoever to do with lactic acid build-up...

  • OK, so in this image of Kelly is he looking casually pro or just not giving a f*ck cause he's dished out a sh*tload of no.5 and your togs don't make you go faster softc*ck. Excuse my profanities if you can, I too am interested in the fashion of our sport but it just always seemed he never cared. I don't know if Merckx did much either.

  • @Chris @Frank wanted to give you the definitive on lactose production, so spoke to my mate who is doing his doctorate on it and he says:
    "One of big misconceptions in sports science is that lactic acid (or lactate) is a bad thing, it is not. It can actually be re-metabolised to create additional energy for exercise. The 'acidosis' that you feel is from hydrogen ions (and other metabolites) produced from the breakdown of lactic acid into lactate. The intensity of exercise mediates the accumulation of these ions, not what you eat"

    That is all. Drink your milk.

  • @ Jeff - I prefer witch hazel to keep it clean on the underside when I can't shower after a ride. You can either buy your own bottle and use cotton squares or you can find pre-soaked pads in a nice screw top container at a decent pharmacy.

    I love the shoe assortment in The Legs photo. Cycling shoes with duct tape. Some all white Easy Spirits. Some black heels. And yes, some Velcro sneaks...(and what look to be some brown leather boots on the far left)

  • both hands in the rear pockets fiddling around for food or the ticket puncher is a must.

  • @Ron
    Witch hazel--of course. Excellent choice.

    When racing, I carried isopropyl alcohol. It is a great cooling rub, cleans the chains of irresponsible teammates who do not adhere to Rule 65, can be mixed with water and a mild soap to clean the other parts of the bikes of irresponsible teammates who do not adhere to Rule 65, disinfects, and prevents acne.

    Of course, isopropyl alcohol is highly flammable. And when used to clean road rash, it hurts worse than a trip through the depths of Hell and tends to kill off whatever live skin cells one has left nearest one's wounds. (I preferred hydrogen peroxide, but I can't say it was any less pleasant. I just liked the bubbles.)

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