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Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate

Louison Bobet rests calmly on his top tube before a race.

Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale. In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.

The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.

Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.

Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.

In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:

A pre-ride espresso is the perfect casually deliberate means to prepare for a ride. Fully kitted up, loyal machine leaning patiently against a nearby wall, cycling cap carefully disheveled atop the head, sunnies perched above the brim.
Never look like you’re too eager to get on with the ride or the race. After all, the ride is a daily companion and while it is cherished, you are tranquillo in the knowledge that the ride will start soon enough. This is the genesis of Rule #80; energy is to be saved for the right moment and is not to be wasted on pointless things like standing under your own strength.
Once the ride begins, the first twenty minutes are to be taken at a luxuriously slow pace. A rider is confident in their powers and never too anxious to show their hand too early. When riding with others, this is the time to ride two abreast, chatting about simpler times.
Light conversation is to be taken up casually near the top of the first several climbs of the day. If not at the top, at least during the more difficult bits. As the other riders in the group begin to feel the pressure in their legs and Doubt begins its steady march into the bit of the morale where they do their worst damage, a casually deliberate comment which show no signs whatsoever of labored breathing can do much to hurry that march along.
Never show how much you’re suffering. Ever. Even when inhaling a wasp, the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering. Unless, of course, it is the finale, and all thought has vacated the mind in the solemn journey into the void. Only then is it acceptable to cease being casually deliberate.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Nate says:

Dec 9 2010 at 7:29 am

@Jeff
Re your roadside vestements and proposed neckware, do please consider an ascot. It would be just the thing to complete the look.
frank says:

Dec 9 2010 at 7:41 am

@ChrisO

It's a sad indictment of modern television that leaving 20 seconds without any voiceover, just mild effects, seems to be a radical innovation.
Got any more like that ?

That cut is actually from Stars and Watercarriers. That, along with the Impossible Hour, La Course en Tete, and The Greatest Show on Earth are just completely crammed full of gems. Have a look at The Works for more details.
frank says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:09 am

@roadslave,
@Ron, @G'phant, @Jarvis, @Jeff in PetroMetro

roadslave:
@Jarvis, @G'Phant, @Ron - sod the TDU, they wouldn't know what 'Looking Fantastic' looks like on or off the bike... but yes, when the peloton hits Europe next year with the classics and the grand tours, I fully expect to see classy, tasteful, yet wickedly hip yet classicly euro-stylish Velominati in the background on all the major stages... would be V (deliberate pun) cool to see 'Apply Rule 5"² appear on TV at Turn 18 of the Alpe as Gesink and Schleck are going at it against each other.

I am just returning from Manhattan after a meeting out this way. Manhattan is a fucking classy place where people still (gerenally) remember that going out in public looking nice is a sign of dignity and showing respect for your fellow people on the street. I cannot understand the twatwaffles who go out in sweats and a dirty t-shirt.

I would also like to point out that while many of my favorite suits are Italian (Italians understand how to cut a suit for a thin guy) the English suits I have are every bit as stylish and have a little more flair. The Ted Baker suit I wore is black with a blue strip, but the jacket is lined completely in a radical purple fabric. Fucking class, that.

I also wore a pair of Paul Smith shoes (no loafers, lace-up only) and they are fucking gold.

I think a small v-cog stitched to the right sleeve, just beside the buttons would be a suitably subtle sign of the ilk; as we go to shake our fellow roadside fan's hand, we check the cuff and recognize each other.

Also, in case you're wondering if the English know how anything about style...
frank says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:22 am

@Jarvis

"One of big misconceptions in sports science is that lactic acid (or lactate) is a bad thing, it is not. It can actually be re-metabolised to create additional energy for exercise. The 'acidosis' that you feel is from hydrogen ions (and other metabolites) produced from the breakdown of lactic acid into lactate. The intensity of exercise mediates the accumulation of these ions, not what you eat"

Interesting; that explains why I always feel that after the first run into The Red and thoroughly burned my guns, I am instantly stronger on the next climb. Fascinating shit, that.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:29 am

@Oli Brooke-White
Thanks for the kind word. I try to have some decorum, some appropriate elan.
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:37 am

@Nate
I've never worn an ascot. I like the look, but I'm afraid I'd come off too Vaughters. However, in colder weather, one cannot leave the house without one's scarf--black goes with just about everything; a Burberry's is always acceptable; I have one from Pendleton that says Western casual but not cowboy.

You know, think Mod, not Rocker, when making clothing decisions.
Jarvis says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:40 am

@frank
Nag mate, that's just being old & unfit*

Actually, it's toxins that build up in muscles. The ones that are renoved by a massage
Jeff in PetroMetro says:

Dec 9 2010 at 8:52 am

@frank
Spot on with English clothing. I love double-vented suit coats. The ties are inspiring, never garish. The quality is impeccable.

The shoes--ah the shoes. I, like you, always wear lace-ups with business suits. Always. English shoes! They take a little breaking in, however, they'll never wear out, ever. And they take a shine like no other footwear.

As for Manhattan, I've spent about a month of my life there. I loved it. When I was younger, I wanted to live there. Now, I'm a little slower and I like a visit, not a relocation.

Yes, Manhattan is sartorial splendor.
mcsqueak says:

Dec 9 2010 at 9:56 am

@frank

Even worse than people wearing dirty sweats are people who wear pajama bottoms out. I spot people out and about with pajama bottoms on a weekly basis.

Do people really look in the mirror like that and say "yup, this is it!" to themselves before heading out? I want to represent *this* to the world! Ugh.
Ron says:

Dec 9 2010 at 12:07 pm

How about pajama bottoms PLUS furry lined slippers? Fucking college kids do this all the time, but I also catch some adults in this nonsense. Have some goddamn self respect.