Look Pro, Part II: Casually Deliberate
Looking Pro is a delicate art rife with paradox and enigma. Aesthetics in a sport as difficult as cycling is itself a contradiction; surely anything wrought with such suffering should be driven by function and function alone. Yet cyclists are both some of the hardest people in sport and the most vain. For a cyclist knows better than perhaps any other athlete that Morale is a fickle beast that lives upon a knife’s edge; it can drive us on to incredible heights yet squash us at will like an insect for little more than spotting grime on a freshly laundered jersey or dirt on the bar tape. In order for us to ride well, we must have good Morale. In order to have good Morale, we must look Fantastic.
The argument could be made that the best way to improve your riding is to meditate extensively on Rule #5; some might even suggest that aesthetics dilute it’s purity. On the surface, that may be a seductive thing to believe, but it ignores the single most important fact of cycling: looking Fantastic is the best anesthetic available. Just imagine how you looked there, standing on the pedals, dishing out The V. I was magnificent and didn’t feel a thing; I looked Pro.
Along with the vital The Three Point System, mastering the art of being Casually Deliberate is one of the key principles to Looking Pro. A professional gives the impression of having been born on their bicycle; they are one with their machine. When riding, their Magnificent Stroke exudes grace and power. Movements on the bicycle are deliberate yet effortless. Standing, sitting, climbing, cornering – rider and machine form a cohesive union.
Even when not riding, the Professional exudes an air of calm. Sitting across the top tube, the rider rests easy, precisely familiar with the movements of their loyal machine, trusting in the motion and balance. The bicycle is as familiar and connected to the rider as the very air they breathe.
In your quest to master the art of the Casually Deliberate, keep these pointers in mind:
- A pre-ride espresso is the perfect casually deliberate means to prepare for a ride. Fully kitted up, loyal machine leaning patiently against a nearby wall, cycling cap carefully disheveled atop the head, sunnies perched above the brim.
- Never look like you’re too eager to get on with the ride or the race. After all, the ride is a daily companion and while it is cherished, you are tranquillo in the knowledge that the ride will start soon enough. This is the genesis of Rule #80; energy is to be saved for the right moment and is not to be wasted on pointless things like standing under your own strength.
- Once the ride begins, the first twenty minutes are to be taken at a luxuriously slow pace. A rider is confident in their powers and never too anxious to show their hand too early. When riding with others, this is the time to ride two abreast, chatting about simpler times.
- Light conversation is to be taken up casually near the top of the first several climbs of the day. If not at the top, at least during the more difficult bits. As the other riders in the group begin to feel the pressure in their legs and Doubt begins its steady march into the bit of the morale where they do their worst damage, a casually deliberate comment which show no signs whatsoever of labored breathing can do much to hurry that march along.
- Never show how much you’re suffering. Ever. Even when inhaling a wasp, the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering. Unless, of course, it is the finale, and all thought has vacated the mind in the solemn journey into the void. Only then is it acceptable to cease being casually deliberate.
I’ll Admit it, I’m obsessed with how I look on the bike and I love to adjust my kit with my hands off the bars. Looking like a pro is more than half of being a roadie.
“the effort that shows on your face is less than you are truly suffering” This may be Sharpied on to the underside of my cap by the spring!
Being casually deliberate at all times will be my main aim tomorrow. My ride may take me twice as long but at least I know people will be looking at me and saying:
– “Who is that guy in black and pink lycra riding his bicycle in the snow?”
– “I don’t know, but my my he looks casually deliberate, and I like that in a man.”
@Adam
Ah, but of course! Excellent example, mate – how could I have passed over that one? Riding upright, hands off the bars, adjusting kit or putting on/taking off a gillet or cape is a fantastic example of the Casually Deliberate.
Point 3 up there is something I live by. It seems that the speed you go for the first twenty minutes is inversely proportional to the ability of the group you are riding with.
I just read my last post back and think I need to clarify the ‘black and pink lycra’ bit!
It is a super hot Gilberto Simoni LTD edition kit rather than anything garish!
if I may add my favorite latest addition to my morning ‘routine’. Along w/brewing perfect espresso, adding to that is my morning steel-cut oats. With the cold, it is most helpful.
Sitting and eating breakfast pre-ride tranquillo is definitely most ‘PRO’
Ah man Frank, point #1 makes me miss summer even more now. My regular Saturday ride always started at a local coffee shop (not a fucking Starbucks, thank you), and having a tiny cappuccino before a ride was always nice. I also like the crisp cold start, even during the summer, when a ride gets going before many people are even starting their day.
@michael
Yeah, people who know their body don’t want to burn out in the first few miles, no need to prove anything.
@Dexter
I actually think pink looks really sharp in a kit, if used correctly (especially when paired with black). I’d like to get a jersey at some point with some nice splashes of pink on it, just haven’t found the right one yet.
i can maintain casual sounding conversation until my HR hits 170, after that i start to slur my words like a drunk
I often feel as if point #2 should be extended to conversations about other riders’ bikes. For me, I get annoyed at group riders who want to talk a bunch of tech before a ride. Drawing attention to one’s tool with which he practices his craft is akin to talking about average speeds, long rides, and whether or not one is currently peaking. I prefer pre-ride conversation to center on mundane things like the weather and the day’s expected route. Tech talk is best left for post ride, in the shop, or on message boards.
Although what you actually wear only makes up a small part of being casually deliberate, it does help to ensure you get off on the right foot. Wade Wallace of CyclingTipsBlog.com describes it very well. Not wanting to highjack Wade’s brain farts, the link is below. Please remember to just have a quick look and come back here, I don’t want to get in trouble with Frank!
How To Look PRO…
The above Point 5 ought to be incorporated into your overall “Rules” list in my opinion. It is the essence of racing the bike.
@Marko
pre-ride and in-ride conversation should never involve talking tech unless it is mercilessly mocking anothers failure to adhere to The Rules – such as using a European Posterior Man-Satchal. The most “tech” any conversation should be is to ask if ‘Part X’ is any good. With the reply being limited to a yes/no.
There is a worrying trend in the UK, probably fuelled by wannabee PROs (shit third cats) for racing everywhere. For them there is nothing better than dropping a club-mate or riding partner aqnd the sooner the better. These people are CotHO.
Cappucino? So to avoid breaching Rule #56 you presumably get changed into your cycling kit in the cafe after your coffee. Isn’t that, like, a bit of a drag?
@mcsqueak
wtf is a “tiny” cappucino?
@G’phant
I interpret Rule #56 to include cappuccino since it is made out of espresso, and is very Italian. Certainly if a macchiato is fair game, than I think a cappuccino is within the boundaries (though maybe pushing them a bit). Maybe our resident Italian board member will weigh in and give his opinion on the subject…
@Jarvis
A tiny cappuccino is one served in the smallest cup available, a European-sized beverage in direct contrast to the giant 20oz monsters that are passed off as espresso drinks these days.
In Italy could be a ‘caffè macchiato’ that actually is an espresso with a bit of milk or a ‘marocchino’ that is made by one espresso a bit of milk an a bit of dark chocolate powder… :)
@mcsqueak
A macchiatto is acceptable…I personally drink straight espresso only pre-ride as I am quite convinced that milk, which contains lactose, will increase my likelihood to build up lactic acid in my legs. Stay away from that shit lest you will surely crack!
@G’phant
++1
@Dexter
We love Cycling Tips Blog; we’ll never frown on a link over to Wade. Besides, he mint actually know what he’s talking about, which is something as well…
For the record: the12cm socks are not quite goldilocks…8-10cm is just right. Sorry, Wade, that’s a Rule #27 violation.
being cool on a top tube or even on the pavement…
@frank
OK, I can get with that logic. Though to me the small amount of milk in a “tiny cappuccino” has never seemed to harm me.
I will say, though, that the amount of dairy product found in two grilled cheese sandwiches, consumed an hour before a ride, will cause painful side cramps during climbing efforts undertaken on said ride.
Cappuccinos are acceptable. But in the rules of Italian style must be in a small cup and not drunk after 11am.
For a salutary lesson in “tranquillo” check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwg_jg-6AHA So much adherence to the rules, I doubt there’s a single violation in the whole thing. Gotta love the old school TT gear – tucking your jersey into your shorts – and the commentary too. Is there a better description of a TT than “a long concentrated discharge of strength”?
@wiscot
Love that video. “The simplest possible manifestation of power, psyche and style.” F’ing brilliant.
@Pedale.Forchetta
Absolutely spectacular photo. I toyed very seriously with making this one as the main photo for the article, but Bobet took it on account of his sitting on the bike.
@Marko
A-Merckx! A craftsman doesn’t discuss his tools openly; he simply knows they are the right tools for the job and he gets down to work.
@G’phant
Yes. Just, yes.
@frank
See what you’ve done?? Give an inch and they’ll take a mile (or give 2.5cm and they’ll take 1.6km). Espresso. End of.
“Absolutely spectacular photo. I toyed very seriously with making this one as the main photo for the article, but Bobet took it on account of his sitting on the bike”
Not to mention those amazingly cool sunglasses. Man, he is sooo in the groove in that photo!
Excellent article!
Looking PRO has long been a passion of mine and is something I brought with me to cycling from the other sports I’ve participated in. I could never step onto the field, even for practice, if my kit wasn’t in perfect form.
I’ve actually been looking for a new Thursday night ride because the fucks I ride with endlessly engaged in Tech Talk. No passion, no love, no style…just bullshit info from their power meter or HRM. Fuck, it kills the ride for me.
As for talking up hills – beer in the bidon is perfect for this! Makes it easier to ignore the pain and always makes me more talkative. I definitely had people give me an odd look during rides. “What the hell are you going on about? Can’t you seem I’m about to have a heart attack?!”
That Lampre jersey is superb.
And I’m going to spend the entire ride looking Casually Deliberate tomorrow, despite the wind and bitter cold.
And I imagine he is showing the fan a picture of the Zoncolan and saying something like “this is excellent for a dozen laps before lunch” and the man isn’t quite sure if he’s joking or not.
@wiscot
Kind makes me wish they still raced TT’s on their roadbikes. I mean, I’m all for the right tool for the job and all, but who here hasn’t used a knife when they needed a shiv?
Oh yeah, in my fairytale cycling world one of the Grand Tours will soon include a TT where every rider is on the same steel frameset. They can choose their gruppo, but every rider is on a traditional geometry steel frame with drop bars. And to make this even better, any builder could submit a frameset and the fans would vote on the one they’d like to see used. Maybe each one could also be raffled off after the race, with the proceeds going to something good, like funds to build a Velominati Club House in Northern Italy…
I know, he would be intimidated to see my guns in photo form.
Rest easy Frank, lactose is in no way related to lactic acid, and lactic acid build-up is a complete misnomer anyway – acidosis is what causes the pain.
@Oli Brooke-White
Shhh! OK. Educate the ignorant in any way possible, small milky white lies will never hurt.
Matt of the very excellent Inner Ring blog, has something to say about those who appropriate European culture. Not that he thinks it’s a bad thing, but he always like to ensure people have the basic cultural facts correct. This is what he has to say regards the drinking of coffee:
@wiscot
Great video, “all calculation is swallowed by the unfolding of power” TT 101.
I did my best at looking casually deliberate this morning and it made me feel super strong!
@frank
You’ve definitley hit on something!
@Souleur
You just named my favorite weekday breakfast. We just started back up with it (somehow this doesn’t seem right pre-December) and it’s fantastic. We eat these. For some variety, I drizzle over some Dumonde Tech and crumble a few 14T cogs on top.
@frank
Hey, I am new member and just wanted to agree with the lactose in milk. The pro Mark Cavendish will never drink or eat anything containing milk on the day of a ride because it messes with the lactate acid buildup in the muscles.
The adolescent lad standing behind Louison is conducting his own Study of a Hardman. Seems like he’s got “the look” in his eyes. Surely he’s impressed to be standing near one of the greats yet he’s not showing his foolishness like the older chap to the right. Makes me wonder if he went on to race bicycles.
Cycling photos from the earliest days through the mid 60’s draw me in because of how nicely the fans are dressed as well as how Casually Deliberate the pros are. To me, one gets dressed up to go to church. Church clothes should be one’s “Sunday best”.
European pro bicycle races are church. A-Merckx.
I dream Antler Guy trips and all the Borats impale themselves on his magnificant rack. Then Didi Senft tridents Antler Guy to death. I like Didi. He can stay.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Fans can still dress smartly. Let’s start the revolution. Steampunk will be in with this and I’m sure Frank will. Let’s smarten up the roadside fans and watch races dressed in three-piece suits. Or if you have to ride to watch the race, plus-fours and a riding jacket. What! What!
Ha, well played!
That video clip is a true testiment to the bike. It captures the deep, spiritualness of the TT so poetically.
A few other f’ing brilliant quotes, in my opinion from it are:
“He’s riding his race like a work of art.”
“Strength as a aclassic expression.”
and “The pain as an icon.” Such a great clip!
@Adam
You should have seen the looks I got when I sat up free handed in the middle of a briskly moving paceline and pulled a camera out of my back pocket and started taking pictures.
Speaking as someone who has worked in television for 20+ years that film had me literally weeping in admiration.
Absolutely perfect – a sublime match between content and commentary.
‘All friction must be reduced to a minimum’… You could do worse for a life mantra.
It’s a sad indictment of modern television that leaving 20 seconds without any voiceover, just mild effects, seems to be a radical innovation.
Got any more like that ?
@Pedalo.Forchetta, @Frank: Forza Coppi! Now that is how to look cool off the bike. Apparently, Coppi always appears in sunglasses in photos as he was terrified/paranoid about sunlight inflaming his conjunctivitis… whatever, doesn’t half make him Look Fantastic, though. Great photos, great lighting.. and Frank, awesome article.
@Jarvis
I think slacks and a sportcoat with an open collar is a perfectly fine look. Tailoring is everything. Show a little shirt cuff at the bottom of the jacket sleeve. Good shoes–Italian loafers (Are there any other kind?).
I haven’t quite come up with the “ride to watch a race” attire. Something keeps eating at me about that. I’ve watched enough bike races and seen enough people standing on the side of the road in full kit and cycling shoes. Merckx forbid, I don’t think I can recommend anyone actually ride a bike to watch a bike race. Walk, ride a Vespa or Ducati, take the ski lift, use a tourist bus, park three days early in a caravan. These forms of transportation allow one to dress with aplomb, grace, dignity, and style.
Oooh, wow. I love this idea of bringing class and style and nice clothes back to the crowds at bike racers.
Yeah, enough of the stupid horns and half-naked fools and shite. I get it, you were in a frat and still think you are.
Should we get to work on a Velominati Coat of Arms that adherents can sew onto a black (with pink pinstripes?)sportcoat and immediately begin wearing to races far and wide? Hmm, it could be ready in time for some to debut at the Tour Down Under.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
The only problem with parking up three days in advance is that if you’re in the Alps or Pyrennes, if you want to be at the top of the climb, you’re a long way from shops, showers and a comfortable shit.
@Ron
just need a “V-cog” sew-on, that is the Velominatus’ coat of arms. But I would prefer the unbranded approach – less obnoxious and frat-like. Just by dressing smart people should know that you are a class above.
I generally endorse the concept of smartening up race-watching attire to more fully accord with the seriousness of the event and more properly reflect the solemnity which such occasions should demand. (It would also reduce the prospect of encountering Lampre Man in person.) But at the TDU? “Smart dress” to an Australian means clean stubbies (= disturbingly short shorts), clean-ish jandals (= flip-flops) and an unripped singlet (= undervest – though in Australia it’s not worn under anything). Turning up dressed like I imagine Steampunk wants to when he’s not riding is liable to result in laughter followed by violence. I suggest the launch date be deferred to Milan – San Remo. The Italians would get it. We Antipodenas just wouldn’t.
Jarvis – very good point. Unbranded is the way to go. Clear, level-headed thinking right there.
G’phant – I love how Aussie blokes dress. When I was there I was always amazed to see city workers and other manual laborers out doing serious, dirty jobs in stubbies, a rugby/footy jersey, and their Blundastones, with the ankle covers, and a big sun hat. They looked like they were half ready for the beach, just trade their boots for jandals.
And, do you think Lampre Man actually exists, or is he like Big Foot?
I also fully agree with a need to smarten certain factions of the race-watching population.
I didn’t realise when I first saw this photo but if you look closely you can see it was actually taken in London as the riders departed on the Five Day Cycle Race to Glasgow. Dated 7th August 1945, it’s clear that we could do it back then so why the hell did we stop? As a ‘Peeler’ it’s also very nice to see one of London’s finest wearing his custodian helmet whilst also looking casually perplexed! I will be on the look out for top hats, polished shoes and Mackintosh coats on the side of race routes next year, but maybe I’ll wait until after TDU!
@Jarvis, @G’Phant, @Ron – sod the TDU, they wouldn’t know what ‘Looking Fantastic’ looks like on or off the bike… but yes, when the peloton hits Europe next year with the classics and the grand tours, I fully expect to see classy, tasteful, yet wickedly hip yet classicly euro-stylish Velominati in the background on all the major stages… would be V (deliberate pun) cool to see ‘Apply Rule #5’ appear on TV at Turn 18 of the Alpe as Gesink and Schleck are going at it against each other.